updated mix: female Classic Country song; ears?

[funsongs]

Made a few tweaks to
When We Became One
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1/when- ... ne-2-14-17

[VanderBoegh]

Hey Peter, good to hear more of your music, my good man!! The musicianship is great on this track, so I'll focus on the lyrics instead.

The opening lines seem kinda religious in tone, but that tone is shot down with lyrics like you've got in the chorus & bridges where it almost sounds like you're mentioning a one-night stand in the sanctuary, haha (okay, maybe that's just my twisted mind... but I'm sure I'm not alone). I might suggest keeping things sweet and romantic, and removing lyrics like "naked" "we had just met, man it was pretty", and "you rocked my world". I think those are the lines that are spoiling the sweetness of this song and make this sound like some Cassanova just ran game on an innocent church girl.

~~Matt

[funsongs]

Hey Peter, good to hear more of your music, my good man!! The musicianship is great on this track, so I'll focus on the lyrics instead.

The opening lines seem kinda religious in tone, but that tone is shot down with lyrics like you've got in the chorus & bridges where it almost sounds like you're mentioning a one-night stand in the sanctuary, haha (okay, maybe that's just my twisted mind... but I'm sure I'm not alone). I might suggest keeping things sweet and romantic, and removing lyrics like "naked" "we had just met, man it was pretty", and "you rocked my world". I think those are the lines that are spoiling the sweetness of this song and make this sound like some Cassanova just ran game on an innocent church girl.

~~Matt

eesshh... get your mind out of the gutter, Matt...
seriously, though: the 'naked' reference is to the bearing of one's heart & soul, being vulnerable & transparent.
But - I appreciate the listen and honest feedback.