Remix on Pop Return

[Joseph]

Listing:

CURRENT SOUNDING ELECTRONIC POP INSTRUMENTAL CUES are U-R-G-E-N-T-L-Y needed for a specific project by a very successful, NON-Exclusive Music Library that gets tons of placements in Commercials, TV shows, and Feature Films. They’re on the hunt for mainstream sounding, Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumental Cues that are in the general stylistic ballpark of artists like, (but not limited to) The Chainsmokers, DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber, Maroon 5, etc., etc., etc. Please listen to the following references to get a feel for the vibe they need: “Closer” by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT2_F-1esPk “Let Me Love You” by DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMs0GnYze34 “Don't Wanna Know” by Maroon 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANS9sSJA9Yc Even though the references have vocals in them, they’re looking for Instrumental Cues only for this pitch! Please send them well-crafted Electronic Pop Instrumental Cues that have appealing melodies, engaging rhythms, and tons of ear candy throughout. Your electronic elements should all sound modern and current, and in the general ballpark of what you’d hear from the references and other acts like them. Be sure to structure your submissions around a simple, but catchy melodic theme, while adding and removing instrumentation as your Cue progresses to keep it dynamically compelling and forward moving. All submissions should be approximately 90 seconds in length (give or take). Non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings will work best. Please do NOT copy or rip off the referenced artists in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, texture, tone, and overall vibe. Broadcast quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine). This company offers a NON-EXCLUSIVE deal. Applicable sync fees will be split 50/50. You’ll get 100% of the Master rights and the Library will get 100% of the Publishing for any placements they generate. You must own or control your Master and Copyright to submit for this opportunity. All Submissions will be screened on a Yes/No basis. No full critiques. Please submit 1-3 Instrumental Cues online or per CD no later than 11:59PM (PDT), on Sunday, March 12th, 2017. TAXI #U170312PI

I recently received a return on this listing which is alright since this genre is not my forte. Here are the screeners comments:

"I love the big bass and contrast of the textured snare against the warm piano. I think it all works really nicely. i really appreciate you wanting to contrast that with some brightness and I do think that tropical flavors are on target for this listing but I find the contrast between the low end, percussion and then that super bright melody to be too extreme and it causes the mood or voice of the track to be hard to classify. The title "wonderful weekend" to me totally works with the melody but I find that the rest of the track is much darker and moodier. I think that bringing one side to the other (doesn't really matter which) would make this much more successful."

Here's the returned track:
https://soundcloud.com/premium-joe/wond ... ed/s-IloiH

And my revision:
https://soundcloud.com/premium-joe/wast ... th/s-nHY7W

Any thoughts? I tried to make it moodier by taking out the marimba lead. I'd like to make this more marketable for future listings so any advice is appreciated.

Thanks for the help.

-Joseph

[Len911]

The track before the revision. The piano part seems a little too loud, but of greatest importance seemed to be about 40 seconds, there was an expectation that the piece was going to take off into the chorus, but it didn't, it was anti-climactic, and then just repeated the first verse with a few more instruments added.

[melodymessiah]

to me this sounds more like a songwriting issue than a production issue...

[Onaginoffegin]

For me, the piece lacks any kind of build or change in energy or dynamics.
I would suggest a build early on (maybe at 30 seconds), then strip it down to just basics, then a final build as it approaches the ending.


Henry

[Joseph]

Thanks for the comments! As soon as I get some more time, I will try to implement your suggestions and repost for some follow-up.

-Joseph

[waveheavy]

It's your piano chords Joseph. The first chord sounds close to a minor chord (minor = sad). That piano part might have been better as a synth pad, low volume in the background.

[mojobone]

The second version is way better. I think this maybe needs a second section as others noted, it just A,A,A,A. And not for nuthin' but a little build couldn't hurt. Sounding really good and well-mixed, just a little underbaked, compositionally.