This One's Gunna Hurt- Full band demo

We're putting YOU in the drivers seat!

Moderators: mdc, admin, TAXIstaff

User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

This One's Gunna Hurt- Full band demo

Postby bucyboy » Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:20 am

Thought I'd bring this up one last time in case anyone was interested in hearing the full band demo. The publisher was very happy with this one!

Thanks, Buc




Here's a new one called "This One's Gunna Hurt", that I'm having produced by JL Productions. It's a rough, quick mix of an acoustic/vocal demo. I like it but I'm very close to the song. I'm afraid it may be too traditional for todays market. Personally I love writing songs like this but they don't seem to be in high demand these days. Does the story line work ok? Thanks.

Buc


http://www.soundclick.com/bucwilliams



This One's Gunna Hurt Mark "Buc" Williams (ASCAP)2013

(V1)
Six years old in the backyard Maple tree
Foot slipped off a branch fell and skinned my knee
Mamma took peroxide as she wiped off the dirt
She said son, this one's gunna hurt

(Chorus)
It was the first time I ever felt that kind of pain
Knew I never wanted to hurt that way again
She put her arms round me, gave me a warm embrace
Teardrops I was fightin' back came rollin' down my face
Said I'm sorry baby, dried my eyes with her shirt
But son, this one's gunna hurt

(V2)
Ten years later at the corner Dairy Queen
Went to meet the girl I loved, Charlene
Saw her at our table kissin' my best friend Kurt
I thought man, this ones gunna hurt

(Chorus)
It was the first time I ever felt that kind of pain
Knew I never wanted to hurt that way again
Char put her arms round me, gave me a warm embrace
Teardrops I was fightin' back came rollin' down my face
Said I'm sorry baby, dried my eyes with her shirt
But hun, this one's gunna hurt

(Bridge)
At times the world can seem so cold and cruel
But often neath the hurt lies a hidden jewel

(V3)
One day as I was walkin' in the park
Bumped into a girl that stole my heart
We got married in a little country church
Nine months later she was givin birth

(Chorus)
It was the first time she ever felt that kind of pain
Knew she never wanted to hurt that way again
I put my arms round her, gave her a warm embrace
Teardrops she was fightin' back came rollin' down her face
They handed her our baby, her tears turned to a smirk
Said son, life is worth the hurt
Yes my son, life is worth the hurt
Last edited by bucyboy on Sun Mar 10, 2013 5:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
Robtoons
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 838
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:36 am
Gender: Male
Location: Healdsburg, CA
Contact:

Re: Rough mix Acoustic/vocal country song- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby Robtoons » Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:32 pm

Hey Buc,
Nice tune! Yeah I think the story works well, but I think you're right about it being traditional rather than current.
But hey, there must be a place for this kind of thing out there somewhere.
I love the production- the double acoustic shimmers!
Cheers! -Rob
deantaylor
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 2892
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:47 pm
Contact:

Re: Acoustic/vocal- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby deantaylor » Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:01 am

Hey Buc,

I really like the song.

I think the story is great except for 2 small things .. I'm not sure I buy Charlene at 16 putting her arms around you, giving you words of wisdom and you standing there taking it .. all right after she's kissing your best friend .. not many 16 year olds are that wise/sensitive .. imo.

You might be able to make the bridge and v3 tie together better .. what if in v3 it's not just 'one day' that he is walking in the park, but it's right after Charlene dumps him, the same day (maybe he is 25, not 16) .. then underneath the hurt of the Charlene betrayal he finds the new girl (hidden jewel). Or something like that.

hth .. 2 cents

Dean
"Riding Gravity" album from my band, Mad July
Nominee: Best Alternative Song, Best Female Vocal
2013 Hollywood Music In Media Awards
http://madjuly.bandcamp.com
http://facebook.com/WeAreMadJuly
https://itunes.apple.com/album/id711437961
User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Acoustic/vocal- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby bucyboy » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:22 am

Thanks for the listen Rob and Dean. I did think about the scenario you mentioned Dean, but I was afraid I'd lose the growing up thing. Basically I pictured Char giving him a hug and saying she was sorry, not really offering any words of wisdom. I agree not to many 16 yr old's would do that..lol I decided to leave the age open when he meets Miss Right. Originally I had said 5 years later or ten years later, but decided it wasn't as important, just older. I really appreciate the feedback.

Buc
nylyrics
Impressive
Impressive
Posts: 404
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 1:22 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Acoustic/vocal- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby nylyrics » Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:43 am

The vocal and melody work really well. Couple out of the box thoughts adding to the others - perhaps if you re-title to "hurt" it gives your more flex in sharpening the verses OR maybe you let go of the growing up thing and tell little stories that add up to the chorus and current title - with you as the narrator.

Really nice song and hook overall.

Andy
deantaylor
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 2892
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 1:47 pm
Contact:

Re: Acoustic/vocal- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby deantaylor » Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:02 pm

bucyboy wrote:Thanks for the listen Rob and Dean. I did think about the scenario you mentioned Dean, but I was afraid I'd lose the growing up thing. Basically I pictured Char giving him a hug and saying she was sorry, not really offering any words of wisdom. I agree not to many 16 yr old's would do that..lol I decided to leave the age open when he meets Miss Right. Originally I had said 5 years later or ten years later, but decided it wasn't as important, just older. I really appreciate the feedback.

Buc


I might not have made my point clear enough on verse3. Main point was to tie it in better to the bridge by making it not just 'one day I was walking in the park' .. but making it so you were walking in the park because you were hurting for some reason .. walking to try and figure out the hurt or get away from it .. idk, something like 'another failed romance, another long walk'
"Riding Gravity" album from my band, Mad July
Nominee: Best Alternative Song, Best Female Vocal
2013 Hollywood Music In Media Awards
http://madjuly.bandcamp.com
http://facebook.com/WeAreMadJuly
https://itunes.apple.com/album/id711437961
User avatar
Casey H
King of the World
King of the World
Posts: 11860
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Contact:

Re: Acoustic/vocal- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby Casey H » Sun Feb 17, 2013 5:37 pm

Hey Buc
I had the same reaction Dean did to the part about Charlene kissing his best friend and then comforting him. Didn't seem realistic to me... Good song... Best of luck with it!

:D Casey
User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Acoustic/vocal- This One's Gunna Hurt

Postby bucyboy » Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:56 pm

Thanks Dean and Casey. I'll have to give it some more thought and see if anything else comes to mind. A publisher in Nashville is listening to it tomorrow and is going to give me his thoughts on it too. It'll be interesting if the same part bothers him as well.

Thanks a lot for the listen and feedback!

Buc
User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: This One's Gunna Hurt- Full band demo

Postby bucyboy » Sun Mar 10, 2013 5:37 pm

Just got the full demo back and thought I'd post it if anyone's interested. Thanks!

Buc
User avatar
eeoo
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 3450
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:26 pm
Gender: Male
Location: NorCal
Contact:

Re: This One's Gunna Hurt- Full band demo

Postby eeoo » Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:09 am

Top notch Buc, sounds great! Good luck with the cut, hope you nail it.

eo

Return to “Peer To Peer”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests