Wakin' up with you.

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nylyrics
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Wakin' up with you.

Post by nylyrics » Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:57 pm

Hey Lyric Lovers,

How am I doing with this one? Weak? Strong? Unclear? typical? etc. appreciate any thoughts.

Andy

Wakin’ Up With You
© Andy Mackay

Sometimes I cant catch my breath
watching you sleep like an angel In bed
and how you rub the night from your eyes
turn to me with a smile that’s all mine
and to hear that beautiful noise
the sound of your morning voice
Your beautiful voice

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
Cause I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Since the first moment we touched
I don’t think I’ve ever loved you this much
It’s not easy for me to confess
But I’ve been blind to all your love meant
Forgive me for being so cold
And thank you for not letting go
Now I want you to know

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
As long as I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Bridge:
I know There’s no going in reverse
And I cant fix those times you were hurt
But from this day moving forward
I’m gonna love you and you’re gonna know it

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
As long as I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

simonsays
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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by simonsays » Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:43 pm

Hi Andy,
I just read this, and I like it a lot. Only one minor thing seemed off to me. (See below in green)
Steve (aka, SimonSays)




nylyrics wrote:Hey Lyric Lovers,

How am I doing with this one? Weak? Strong? Unclear? typical? etc. appreciate any thoughts.

Andy

Wakin’ Up With You
© Andy Mackay

Sometimes I cant catch my breath
watching you sleep like an angel In bed
and how you rub the night from your eyes
turn to me with a smile that’s all mine
and to hear that (beautiful noise) [nice oxymoron!]
the sound of your morning voice
Your beautiful voice

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
Cause I know I’m
Waking up with you [Repeating the title, especially in your chorus, is usually a good thing IMO. :)]
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Since the (first) moment we touched Since the moment we first touched
[I think (first touched) matches up better with the next line's (this much). (First) is where the emphasis first ;) falls when I say the line, and it sounded off to my ear where it is now.]
I don’t think I’ve ever loved you this much
It’s not easy for me to confess
But I’ve been blind to all your love meant
Forgive me for being so cold
And thank you for not letting go
Now I want you to know

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
As long as I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Bridge:
I know There’s no going in reverse
And I cant fix those times you were hurt
But from this day moving forward
I’m gonna love you and you’re gonna know it

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
As long as I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Oma
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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by Oma » Wed May 08, 2013 6:54 am

Really nice lyrics and imagery. I love the line in the bridge about going in reverse and moving forward, really clever. I was just wondering though about the first line though, you say, 'Sometimes I can't catch my breath', I would have thought 'Sometimes I catch my breath' depicts awe and amazement. Then that's just me, but I really love this.

BurtHK
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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by BurtHK » Wed May 08, 2013 9:26 am

Sometimes I cant catch my breath
watching you sleep like an angel In bed
and how you rub the night from your eyes
turn to me with a smile that’s all mine
and to hear that beautiful noise
the sound of your morning voice
Your beautiful voice

I love the image of watching her n her sleep - not sure the 'morning voice' is right here. Most people I know dislike their 'morning voice' - it certainly has an edge to it but I think it is almost another song. Stick with angel here and try to bring in more heaven/angelic metaphors or juxtapose with 'I'm in hell watching you like an angel'?

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
And the day becomes a struggle to get through
I think of all you mean to me
With no question no uncertainty
And somehow there’s nothing I can’t do
Cause I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

I love the first 2 lines of this ch really evocative - what about 'they' (playing with the us vs. them kind of idea) Up 'day' to 'life' and maybe drop the next 2 lines - if you've got to say there is "no question no uncertainty" - then maybe there is - use the melody in "I think of all you mean to me' to affirm there is "no question no uncertainty" - more powerful. I just love your tag line though - it is strong, intimate and universal - because everyone wakes up with who ever they love.

Since the first moment we touched
I don’t think I’ve ever loved you this much
It’s not easy for me to confess
But I’ve been blind to all your love meant
Forgive me for being so cold
And thank you for not letting go
Now I want you to know

Vs 2 is really wordy - particularly after the imagery of Vs 1 - just think Vs 1 your watching her - Vs 2 your touching her (perhaps for a little morning glory or just because you can't help yourself. So many women (and men actually) complain about lover who leave before they wake up - how sexy? He wakes up, hes been watching and now instead of exiting, he's touching her because he can't help himself? Particulrly if he touches her in a less then obvious sexual place.

Bridge:
I know There’s no going in reverse
And I cant fix those times you were hurt
But from this day moving forward
I’m gonna love you and you’re gonna know it

Love the Bridge works no matter how the narrative evolves in Vs 1 & 2 (reverse ad hurt - great rhyme)

Hy NY crackin' start again, your instincts are great just craft a universal picture in the Vs we all can relate to.

HTH

Burt
The sooner you fail, the sooner things can get better.

http://www.taxi.com/burtcrow
https://soundcloud.com/burt-crow
Tumblr http://burtcrow.tumblr.com/

LooknGlass
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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by LooknGlass » Tue May 21, 2013 5:04 pm

I want to be able to critique it more but I'm pressed for time right now. But I gotta tell ya, I like it, you have a good flair with your wording . I see a couple spots I would tweak, but I hope to get back later this week and read it again. Good write, I enjoyed it a lot.
"pax vobiscum"

nylyrics
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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by nylyrics » Fri May 31, 2013 7:49 pm

Thanks for all the comments and critiques - I have been kind of absent lately but trying to back into the swing of things.

I have made some updates:
I appreciate any comments at all.

Thanks.

Andy

Wakin’ up with you

It’s feeling the heat of your breath
And your long soft hair while you sleep on my chest
And when you rub the night from your eyes
The smile you give is like sunshine
And that scratch in your morning voice
to me that’s a beautiful noise
A beautiful noise

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
I start to doubt the things that I can do
I close my eyes and raise my chin
Think of how my days begin
And I find a way to fight my way through
Cause I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Hear me I need to confess
There were times when I loved you less
My heart wouldn’t feel or be touched
But to hold you now is my highest rush
Forgive me I know I was cold
And thank you for not letting go
Now I want you to know

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
I start to doubt the things that I can do
But I close my eyes and raise my chin
Think of how my days begin
And I find a way to fight my way through
Cause I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

Bridge:
I know There’s no going in reverse
And I cant fix those times you were hurt
But from this day moving forward
I’m gonna love you and you’re gonna know it

When the world tries to test my faith
And doors are closing in my face
I start to doubt the things that I can do
I close my eyes and raise my chin
Think of how my days begin
And I find a way to fight my way through
Cause I know I’m
Waking up with you
Waking up with you

vincent
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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by vincent » Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:48 pm

hi Andy, just a note to let you know I stopped, the lyric work for me, but i`m not a very good critic.
I`ll stop by your page and listen to your music. if I can find my way there, I`m new to the boards.

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Re: Wakin' up with you.

Post by remoteoutofcontrol » Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:52 am

Love the lyrics, Andy! I love the imagery and the originality of it.

Great work,

Ken
Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. Anais Nin

https://soundcloud.com/imken-2/tracks

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