UPDATE 2: MIXES: Hard Love Lucinda Williams Style

[shellsings]

New Mix up

https://soundcloud.com/michellelockey/h ... -2/s-f0kFL


also final lyrics

Hard Love, Michelle Lockey and Stephen Joseph Antonelli

Late Nights in Hell and that Whiskey soaked smell
Your eyes say I'm sorry again
Weary and Worn, wanna walk out that door
But I keep on comin back, comin back for this pain

Chorus
You're a hard love but you're my love
I don't want to leave but I don't to stay
You're hard a love but you're my love
This is the bed that we've made, I hope it won't break
You're a hard, hard love, but your mine

Verse
Our rusted old hearts till beat in the dark
The passion almost feels real
but your tender ways, erased by bitter days
Is there any hope, any hope behind these tears

Chorus
Bridge
Chorus
[/color]


old lyric
Hard Love by Michelle Lockey (c) 2013

Late Nights in Hell and that Whiskey soaked smell
Your eyes say I'm sorry again
Weary and Worn, wanna walk out that door
But I keep on comin back, comin back for this pain

Chorus
You're a hard love but you're my love
I don't want to leave but I don't to stay
You're hard a love but you're my love
This is the bed that we've made, but are we gonna break it
You're a hard, hard love, but your mine

Verse
Our rusted old hearts till beat in the dark
The passion almost feels real
but your tender ways, erased by bitter days
Is there any hope, any hope behind these tears

Chorus
Bridge
Chorus


FYI Old version if you are intersted Old version:

https://soundcloud.com/michellelockey/h ... ft/s-i8Y8U

[cassmcentee]

Shelly, it's a nice start! (Love Lucinda)
How about???....
(A single strum intro to set up the pace of the tune)
Late Nights in Hell with that Whiskey soaked smell
Your eyes full of SORROW (not - sorry) and pain
Brining you home leaves me weary and worn
Your TROUbles (slight pause) have FOUND me (slight pause) aGAIN (But I keep looking for trouble to find me again)

Phrasing Emphasis for the last line in Capital letters... sort of a 3/4 waltz phrase for the last line
just a couple of thoughts...

[CrimsnSyrn]

Hi Shell,

Some great stuff here! Love the overall vibe and great idea. Overall, I LOVE the lyrics. And you nailed that Lucinda vocal inflection - most impressive! Also, love your voice!!! Sounds nice and vulnerable - great for this vibe (sweet, yet a bit world worn). Perfection!

Personally, I like the "sorry and pain" much more refreshing and less predictable than "sorrow" - sorry Cass….

IMHO, I think the last line of the verses, feels unfocused, and kind of tentative and needs to be strengthened leading into the chorus - I like the idea of stringing it out to 5 lines and not just making it 4 lines, and that line "but I keep looking for trouble to find me again" is golden.

I kind of have a hankering for a bit more variety musically in the chorus - I realize this is for film/tv and you're creating an atmosphere/emotion and you don't want any jarring huge contrast, but a little more to distinguish it would be perfectly in place, IMHO.

Looking forward to hearing the finished product!

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing it with us!

[cassmcentee]

Hi Shell,
Personally, I like the "sorry and pain" much more refreshing and less predictable than "sorrow" - sorry Cass….
IMHO, I think the last line of the verses, feels unfocused, and kind of tentative and needs to be strengthened leading into the chorus - I like the idea of stringing it out to 5 lines and not just making it 4 lines, and that line "but I keep looking for trouble to find me again" is golden. !

no worries!

[andygabrys]

hey shell,

I like it and can def hear a vibe on this. Your voice works in the Lucinda vibe pretty well

couple things - I kept feeling the chorus should be ending on Amin rather than C - ending on C seemed to keep it in the C Major ballpark and just tied it up to stay there.

and the chorus lyric - "This (is the)bed that we made, I know it won't break" - it felt like "This (is the)bed that we made, I hope it won't break" would fit the rickety messed up feel of the relationship.

anyways, just thoughts.

[Robtoons]

Nice start Shell,
I look forward to hearing it progress!
Cast my vote for "sorry" instead of sorrow too- it's unique.
I was wondering about "wounds ever disappear" as opposed to "wounds ever heal" (to rhyme with real)
Hard getting around the pretty in your voice, but I think about 2 packs of camel non-filters should do it haha!
Cool stuff, cheers! -Rob

[ottlukk]

I vote for "sorry' as well. Ott

[cassmcentee]

It's always tough to be the first responder on the scene!
I'm so sorrow... opps I mean sorry...

[digital1]

Great Lucinda vibe, Shell! That last line of the verse stood out for me, too. Good suggestion from Juliet--try stretching it out a bit.

You are definitely getting the feel of Lucinda Williams' music in this one. Looking forward to hearing it as it progresses.

Jerry

[shellsings]

Shelly, it's a nice start! (Love Lucinda)
How about???....
(A single strum intro to set up the pace of the tune)
Late Nights in Hell with that Whiskey soaked smell
Your eyes full of SORROW (not - sorry) and pain
Brining you home leaves me weary and worn
Your TROUbles (slight pause) have FOUND me (slight pause) aGAIN (But I keep looking for trouble to find me again)

Phrasing Emphasis for the last line in Capital letters... sort of a 3/4 waltz phrase for the last line
just a couple of thoughts...

Thanks for the input

I intended the sorry, not sorrow, cuz he's sorry he keeps doing that to her... but I will think about it...