Nail Hard Cotton Soft

[smam60]

Nail Hard Cotton Soft


Seems like only a yesterday ago
You were working hard and never quitting
I just wanna let you know
Mama I aint forgetting
You were there for me
Cashmere or threadbare
On top of the world
Or just barely there
When this world pushed me down
It was you who held me aloft
During all those years
Nail hard cotton soft


Whatever standing I may have
The comfortable place I’m now sitting
Without you not a single page
Would have been written OR of my life
When this world pushed me down
It was you who held me aloft
During all those years
Nail hard cotton soft



This life can heal us
From what this world has wrought
Or life can be a trap
A Trap in which we’re caught
When this world pushed me down
It was you who held me aloft
During all those years
Nail hard cotton soft

[mikeShort]

Some thoughts ...

Nail Hard Cotton Soft


Seems like only a yesterday ago // This sounds awkward to me, and it has more beats than it needs. How about just "Seems like only yesterday"? You're trying to rhyme with "know," but you don't rhyme the first and third lines in other verses, so you don't need to here.
You were working hard and never quitting
I just wanna let you know
Mama I aint forgetting "Quitting" and "forgetting" are the weakest kind of rhyme. That undermines the strength of your emotion here.
You were there for me
Cashmere or threadbare
On top of the world
Or just barely there Who is "on top of the world or just barely there?" Mama or the singer? I can't tell.
When this world pushed me down
It was you who held me aloft
During all those years
Nail hard cotton soft Great hook.


Whatever standing I may have
The comfortable place I’m now sitting
Without you not a single page
Would have been written OR of my life I don't understand this line. I also have a problem with the mixed metaphor here ... the standing/sitting of the first two lines doesn't set up "pages" that are being written.
When this world pushed me down
It was you who held me aloft
During all those years
Nail hard cotton soft



This life can heal us
From what this world has wrought
Or life can be a trap
A Trap in which we’re caught This verse is much weaker than the first three. "Wrought" is an uncommon word that makes me think it's here to rhyme with "caught," instead of serving some specific purpose or meaning. The heal/trap dichotomy is interesting, but it's laid out here as if it's a fact that we listeners will buy into without supporting material. I think this needs to be strengthened. What's missing is the connection between the healing and Mama.
When this world pushed me down
It was you who held me aloft
During all those years
Nail hard cotton soft

I think you have a great hook and a nice sentiment. The first two verses (or the long verse) have some pictures ... cashmere or threadbare ... and that's very nice. I think the rest of the song could benefit from more images like that. Pictures help us understand the sentiment and connect to it. Just telling us what's going on is weaker; we don't have any reason to believe you. This is definitely worth working on. I hope you get some feedback from others here, who may have a different perspective.

Mike