WHAT THE??! WORST Taxi Artist EVER Gets Deluxe Releases!?!

[GlennPageMusic]

I can't believe it. *******



From Glenn Page Music, for immediate release, 3/25/14:
All TWENTY-SEVEN of Glenn Page's Albums have been digitally remixed and remastered and are READY TO BE LAUNCHED on an unsuspecting and largely unreceptive public, summer 2014!


FULL PRESS RELEASE:


The critics (especially those coprorate rats over at Rolling Stone)cried,"NOOOOOOOO! GOD, NOOOOOOOO, YOU SADISTS!!!" - but we did it anyway! That's right; all TWENTY-SEVEN of Glenn's Albums have been digitally remastered and are going BACK INTO PRINT!!!!


Which means we had to pay folks to actually LISTEN to all this stuff, people. So they ain't gonna be cheap.


Our "Glenn-storians" have been working tirelessly around the clock (Hey, we're in a recession, people take whatever work they can get) to complete this comprehensive (but musically incomprehensible) deluxe remixing, repackaging, and re-issuing of Glenn's TWENTY-SEVEN legendary albums! WOO-HOOO!!!


Yes, even the cruddy out-of-print ones that really sucked or the ones Glenn recorded when he was SUPER high and thought he was turning into a giant golden bird are ALL HERE!!! Even the ones which were filled with eight cruddy covers and a couple of tossed-off "originals" just so Glenn could escape his record label are HERE!!!!


Remember when Glenn thought it was a good idea to cover the sweet ballad "Waterloo Sunset" and turn it into some unholy crunk-techno-fusion thing??? YUP! It's here, and thanks to the miracle of digital remastering it's even more noxious and in-your-face than ever.


Mark your calendars, because you won't want to be anywhere NEAR a record store or digital downloading service when All 27 of these babies flood the market this summer and then clog up your local bargain bins for years and YEARS to come. Yes, these are dark, dark days for the music industry, my friends; it's really come to this.


Here's a full list of Glenn Page albums getting the royal re-issue treatment!


Albums:
1. Meet Glenn Page! (1965)
2. It's That Crazy Glenn Glenn Sound! (1965)
3. Here's Glenn Page! (1965)
4. Ding! Time for Glenn (1965)
5. Glenn, Glenn, GLENN! (1966)
6. Groovin' with Glenn - Again (1966)
7. Surfy Wurfy (1967)
8. Glenn Page: Sorry, You Can't Get a Restraining Order to Stop Me from Releasing Albums (1967)
9. Glenn Page: Babe, I Feel Like Wearin' a Tuxedo on the Album Cover (1968)
10. Flaxen Flute and the Coconut Carnival of Love Bursts (1968)
11. Glenn Page: One Non-Charting Single and 14 So-So Album Tracks (1969)
12. Glenn's Revenge! (1970)
13. LIVER THAN LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (1970)
14. Smoke Signals from the Weeping Valley of the Wounded Wolf: Songs from a Higher Consciousness (1972)
15. Bored Waitress Refilling My Coffee in a Dusty Brown Cafe (1973)
16..GLENN-ZY! (1975)
17. Hey, I Was Born by the Gritty Part of the Jersey Shore Too, Ya Know (1976)
18. Glow Stick (1979)
19. Robot Crying Nuclear Tears (1981)
20. Sharkz at the P-a-a-a-a-a-rty! (1985)
21. Maturity (1988)
22. Glug (1993)
23. Paging the Hits: 30 Years of Glenn Page (1995)
24. Torn from the Pages: Unplugged and Way Too Talky (1998)
25: Can't Do Anything Else at This Point (2002)
26: A Page of History: The Overblown and Totally Unwarranted Anthology (2005)
27: i-Phoenix (2009)



And don't forget folks, ALL these albums feature liner notes jam-packed with revisionist musical history that makes Glenn second only to The Beatles, plus a buttload of BONUS tracks culled from the original masters (masters which Glenn would surely have tried to burn in the street back in the day if he'd known anyone would have had the utter audacity to tack them onto the ass-end of his albums, thereby tilting the overall quality balance from "passable" to "pretty freakin' dire.")


Not only that, but we'll be flooding the market with deluxe re-issues of THESE re-issues sometime in the Fall, with even MORE liner notes on the making of THESE furshlugginer things! So, if you've never listened to Glenn Page before, now's your chance to listen to the artist that the critics raved, 'HOLY CRAP! This guy is TERRIBLE!"


In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait for these 27 smoking hot re-issues to hit the stores and burn them down with the SHEER FORCE OF THEIR BLAZING AWESOMENESS, well, you can always stop by Glenn's web pages and groove to some of his more recent tracks like "Whisper at the Moon," "Tell Me" or "No Traces."


But buy the reissues too! Glenn's 5000-cookies-a-week lifestyle isn't cheap, ya know.


Tell your friends! Tell your mom! Tell your dealer! Tell your mom's dealer! And LIKE (If you haven't already) Glenn Page's facebook page!


http://www.facebook.com/glennpagemusicofficial


That's right folks, Glenn Page's re-issues are coming, and music will forever feel a little crappier.

[GlennPageMusic]

Sounds HORRIBLE!

[uncbilly]

Oh No! itza Grenzirra!