"Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Please

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dtrain1234
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"Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Please

Post by dtrain1234 » Thu Mar 27, 2014 11:24 am

Howdy riders,

I just got this acoustic guitar/vocal worktape back from my new co-write Stephen Colarelli. He was kind enough to put music to these lyrics for me. I was going after a "Jesus, Take the Wheel" kind of song. We're looking for feedback on the lyrics and melody for now. Thanks for the listen.

"Angels Don't Always Have Wings"
https://soundcloud.com/user1484170/ange ... have-wings



"Angels Don't Always Have Wings"
Words and music (C) 2014 Darin Martin and Stephen Colarelli

(V1)
She worked five years at the diner down the road
Worked double shifts to pay off her college loans
People came and went, got achy feet and food stained clothes
She went home crying every night
Her momma called to tell her 'everything will be alright'

(Chorus)
You can't see their halos
But there's a light where they go
That shines on everyone they touch
Helping those who need it that much
We'll know them by the blessings they bring
Cause angels don't always have wings

(V2)
He had breakfast at the counter every day
Could make her smile and time would melt away
They talked about having a future together someday
They both got laid off around the same time
He said 'let's pack our bags, everything will be just fine'

(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge)
They both found jobs in a brand new town
Trying to buy a house but can't afford it now
They just got news that twins are on the way
In times like this, she can still hear her momma say

(Repeat Chorus)

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Re: "Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Ple

Post by Oma » Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:41 am

Hello Dtrain,
The link to the song on soundcloud is not working for me, so I'll just comment on the lyrics, just my own 2 cents though.
I really love the chorus and I think this is a strong concept to build a song around, it is very touching and many people can relate to this. The verses on their own too, is a very good story and a lot of people can relate. That said, I'm struggling to tie the verses to the chorus, for example who is the angel without wings in this story, I'm implying that it may be the guy she meets at the diner, but it's not strong enough, it will be nice to establish a subject for the song. Also the bridge left me hanging a bit, like the story wasn't quite resolved.
That said I really love the concept (the chorus), maybe you might consider tweaking the verse a bit or not.

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Re: "Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Ple

Post by ericmakesmusic » Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:53 am

You might have the track set as a private track. If so, you have to click "Share" on the track and then copy the embed link. That's the only link that will let people listen to a private track.


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Re: "Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Ple

Post by michael11 » Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:25 am

Nope! No link.

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Re: "Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Ple

Post by singer1 » Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:53 am

Hey Darin, the song you have here is in the 'private setting'. Can't listen till you change that. Hope all is well with you; if you have anything for me, new stuff, let me know. Best, D.B.M.

... the only race we're in, is the human race... D.B.M.

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Re: "Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Ple

Post by dtrain1234 » Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:45 pm

I apologize for the dead link. We re-wrote the melody and tweaked a little bit of the verses. I'll upload a new version once we get a demo of this finished.

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Re: "Angels Don't Always Have Wings" (worktape) Feedback Ple

Post by songmaster » Sat Apr 12, 2014 5:57 am

Hey Darin

I really like the premise for the song and I think that it is well written. I haven't heard the song so I can't comment on that, but there is one part of the lyric that slightly confused me. " people came and went " I wasn't sure if it was customers that came and went or other waiters. It would be simple enough to substitute " waiters for People " but i think what would be even better is if you make it all about her and say something like, " Barely paid the rent " Or " tips don't pay the rent " something that puts all the focus on her.

Anyway, I can't wait to hear it. I think it has great potential :) I really like the title!

Tom

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