Up to My Alligators in Ass ©2014 Robert George BMI
Dewey Johnson was a quarter Seminole
Started wrestlin’ gators at fifteen years old
Now he had a thrivin’ business
Lotsa Bubbas watchin’ from behind the fence
Lately he’d been wishin’
That his exhibitions
Had some purty women in the audience
Then a charter bus of ladies from Ohio
Took a wrong turn and then wound up in the bayou
As they asked him for directions
He was in a t-shirt and some Speedos
Some of them snuck back that night,
Cos they hadn’t seen that sight
Back home in Toledo
As the moon rose full and red
He just grinned and said
“I’m up to my alligators in ass
They sure like it in the sticky long grass
It’s a steamy backwoods scandal
It’s a lot for me to handle
I’m a big, strong guy
But I’m up to my
Up to my
Up to my alligators in ass”
Hotties started spreadin’ word of mouth
They were comin’ from both north n south
Then there came a limo convoy
From the DC Ladies Auxiliary
They liked Garth n Waylon
Looked more like Sarah Palin
Than Nancy Pelosi or Hillary
Someone made a video and life began to spiral
One day it turned up on YouTube and went viral
He was skinnin’ up a gator
When he saw a gal from “E” True Story
And she offered him a show
Said, “there’s one thing you should know
It can’t be too sexy or be too gory
She was hangin’ on his shoulder
When he laughed and told her
“I’m up to my alligators in ass
They sure like it in the sticky long grass
It’s a crazy backwoods scandal
It’s a lot for me to handle
I’m a big, strong guy
But I’m up to my
Up to my
Up to my alligators in ass”
Well, Dewey was adored
At the Emmy awards
He wore a gator-skin hat
And a necklace made of gator teeth
And when Khloe and Kim
Started huggin’ on him
He said, “Easy ladies…I can’t breathe
“I’m up to my alligators in ass
Good thang that I got cahonies of brass
Yeah, this steamy backwoods scandal
Put an Emmy on my mantle
I’m a big, strong guy
But I’m up to my
Up to my
Up to my alligators in ass”