Magic Mullet Theory

[good4somethingbum]

Magic Mullet Theory ©2014 Robert George BMI

He parked near the night club in his grungy Ford
Had a bumper held on with a bungee cord
He stands five foot seven in his big farm boots
Just a sip of whiskey makes him wanna puke
Got his hair cut in a goofy retro ‘do
Looks like Billy Ray way back in ‘92
And yet it’s a shocking sin
How the ladies flock to him
It ain’t his ride
And it ain’t his height
Yeah, he dresses like an old fart
And he ain’t got no gold card in his wallet
My friend took a drink
He said, “here’s what I think
And maybe it’s tequila
Fuelin’ my idea but here’s what I call it

The magic mullet theory
Trust me…it makes sense
And don’t be quick to doubt it
I got evidence
Yeah, it seems a little weird
And it’s kinda eerie
But the only way that Georgia hick
Would git all them gorgeous chicks
Is the magic mullet theory

Rumors say that he was treated like a troll
And he got so lonely that he sold his soul
Saw a gypsy woman at the county fair
And she cast some crazy hoodoo on his hair
Now the girls’re treating him
Like he’s Ryan Gosling’s twin
But it ain’t his eyes
And it sure ain’t his size
He’s still short n scrawny
He’s not tall n brawny…he’s not handsome
Hell, as I recall
He was almost bald
Then he got some hair plugs
Made from mystic bear rugs and now he’s like Samson

It’s the magic mullet theory
Trust me…it makes sense
And don’t be quick to doubt it
I got evidence
Yeah, it seems a little weird
And it’s kinda eerie
But the only way that Georgia hick
Would git all them gorgeous chicks
Is the magic mullet theory

You can smile and you can scoff
Chuckle at my words and blow them off
But tell me…what’s a kit shicker from the farm
Doin’ with the Hooper triplets on his arm

The magic mullet theory
Trust me…it makes sense
And don’t be quick to doubt it
I got evidence
Yeah, it seems a little weird
And it’s kinda eerie
But the only way that Georgia hick
Would git all them gorgeous chicks
Is the magic mullet theory

[thesongriders]

I think this is an awesome title, and a great idea for a song. I'd be interested to hear this one all produced. Love the line about how "ladies flock to him like he's Ryan Gosling's twin".

[good4somethingbum]

I'd like to hear it fully produced, too, but not many composers would take a chance on something like this, haha. and I don't blame them. I'd forgotten about the Hooper triplets...that's from Happy Days. I wish I could've used the Aloha Pussycats but it's not a lyrical phrase.