I missed this one I thought I nailed - insights welcome!

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I missed this one I thought I nailed - insights welcome!

Post by rksinger » Sat Oct 04, 2014 11:27 am

I'm really reluctant to ever second guess a return because even if a screener says something conflicting with another one, or if what they said doesn't make sense to me, at a base level, I understand that "something" did not work. It's sometimes subjective and difficult, but it is my job to figure out.

If it is a return directly from a screening by a music supervisor (as in this case), and it was something that I thought I nailed, I usually find when I hear forwards that they just didn't articulate exactly what they wanted in the original description.

That won't help me here as, unless I missed it, I didn't see anyone else post a forward for this listing that I could check out.

The three songs referenced were somewhat different in lyric styles (a mixture of poetic, metaphorical and on the nose descriptive lyrics). As all of you know, we have to walk a difficult balance most of the time between writing something compelling, and vivid as possible, without being too specific. Casting my mind, back to the time period, I thought I hit the mark with the lyrical content emotionally.

The referenced songs varied WIDELY in their sonic palate. However, I was in studios then (1970's), and I knew how to get all those sounds and I felt I was also in the zone as far as this went too.

Ultimately, since this was screened by a music supervisor and not a Taxi screener, I feel I have to take their comments with a grain of salt. A music supervisor may be wonderful at their job, but not as skilled in describing in words exactly what they need.

I imagine myself in an editing bay and looking at a scene and think about what I want the music to make me feel.

It's one of those I really burned midnight oil on so it was a bit more heartbreaking than normal, so I am wondering if I missed something obvious?

Here is the listing:

U140902BR

PSYCHEDELIC/ACID/BLUES ROCK SONGS with MALE vocals are needed by an A-List Hollywood Music Supervisor working on Hit TV. He’s searching for Down-to-Mid-Tempo Songs in the stylistic wheelhouse of bands like Steppenwolf, The Animals, Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young, Free, etc., etc., etc. Please check out these songs to wrap your head around the range of groovy options that could work for this show: "The Pusher” by Steppenwolf “Almost Cut My Hair” by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young “Fire and Water” by Free “The House Of The Rising Sun” by The Animals You do NOT have to submit authentic vintage master recordings for this pitch, but your song should have the retro feel and sound that takes listeners back to the psychedelic era. Recently recorded songs that sound retro could work well for this pitch. This Music Supervisor needs songs that would work well with characters found on shows like Sons Of Anarchy, Justified, Breaking Bad, etc. Steer clear of anything that sounds light or sweet. No Joni Mitchell for this show ;-) Your songs should sound like a real band playing real instruments. Quoting the source: “There needs to be a rebellious tone and/or attitude to these songs. I want raw, gritty, powerful lead vocals and a mind bending rhythm section.” Universal Lyrics are needed. Please avoid references to specific names, dates, times, brands, etc. Lyric themes about being free, regret, guns, money, drugs, heartache, family, love, loss, sorrow, etc., could all work well for this show and its characters. Broadcast Quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine). Please do NOT copy or rip off the referenced artists in any way, shape, or form. The estimated license fee for this use is $1,000 - $3,000. This is a Direct-to-Music Supervisor pitch, so you'll keep 100% of your Master and Publishing rights, plus you'll also get 100% of the sync fee and any applicable performance royalties. You need to own or control 100% of the Master and Copyright to pitch for this opportunity. All Songs will be screened on a Yes/No basis by a person hand picked by the Music Supervisor. No full critiques. Please submit 1-3 Songs no later than TUESDAY, September 2nd, by 2pm (PDT). TAXI #U140902BR

CRITIQUE:
Frank thanks for submitting How Do I Get Out of Here. The song is not similar enough to the referenced songs which have stronger, more distinct melodies, and strong imagery in the lyrics. There is room to strengthen both the lyric and melody in this song to add more of a memorability factor. The House of the Rising Son's lyrics are filled with imagery that grabs and holds a listener's attention. Both its melody and hook are instantly memorable.


MY LYRICS:

HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE

How do I get out of here
This is all – just a little too crazy
I know you know what I mean

Somethin inside doesn't feel so well
riding off the rails on this carousel

Take a look between the fine print of the book and you will see - what you can't believe

Anybody else in here
Think this is all a little too weird
Do you know what I mean

Trouble falls like rain - you can't catch it all.
A cat without a hat headed for a fall

Take a look between the lines in the book and you will see - what you can't believe

This is all – just a little too crazy
I know you know what I mean

Anybody else in here
Think this is all a little too weird
Do you know what I mean

There’s no where to go, nothing to demand
I'm no king in a castle, Just a joker in the sand

Suddenly its strange, we're under a spell
riding off the rails on this carousel

The fancy people get to keep it all
And we're trapped like a cat without a claw

When justice is Just Us, we're all outlaws
Rolling with the rhythm of their cannonballs


https://soundcloud.com/frankrogala/how- ... -licensing

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Re: I missed this one I thought I nailed - insights welcome!

Post by CrimsnSyrn » Mon Oct 06, 2014 2:10 pm

Hey Frank,

Nice to meet you!

I saw your thread a few days ago, listened to your track and the à las and was just getting back to comment now, when I had trouble finding it - although one would think that Review Station would be the place to post your thread - the place I looked for it was Peer to Peer - it's the best place to get feedback, and there are many regular contributors that usually visit P2P when they have a moment to contribute - so if I were you and (still) want feedback on this, I'd move your thread over there….

Okay now for your song vs. the alas….

This is just one person's opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I do speak honestly though, as is my nature…But just to preface it by saying that I find it challenging too, to nail à las - it's easy to have an idea that might be in the ballpark, but then we fall into old familiar patterns that come easily to us and get off track - and it's so much easier to hear when someone ELSE is off track. :-)

That being said, I'm with the Music Supervisor - it is true, they are not TAXI listings writers and sometimes may have a hard time putting into word exactly what isn't right about a song for their listing - BUT regardless, I found your song not enough in the ballpark of the à las given.

I think your track has a bit of '60's-ish vibe, but it could also lean '80-'90s for me (Town Called Malice by the Jam comes to mind) but take that with a huge grain of salt, as I'm still have a long ways to go with getting mixing/production down - but, your production seems a lot busier than the stripped down, raw-ish sound of the à las (House of the RS is a bit busier than the others). Your vocals are positively swimming in so much more reverb than any of the à las…BUT the real issue for me is that your track itself wasn't close enough musically. (I don't have a quibble with your lyrics - given stronger hooks I think they could've been close to being as equally inpactful as the à las) - it's the music that I found to be considerably off.

The first place to look is tempo. The à las given had a tempo range between (approx) 66-84 bpm. It's always good to analyze tempo first when trying to write to a listing with à las. Your song is at 116 bpm - quite a difference, which sets a different feel right from the get go.

Two of the 4 à las are heavy with a minor key feel - a very dark sort of brooding sound - the other two have chord progressions that, for my lack of ability to adequately express in musical terms (I'm out of practice with the vocabulary), lend a "darker" feel (I'm sure someone else will be able to voice this better - something to do with the sub-tonic maybe? I hope someone will chime in). - To me your song had a pleasant, sort of carefree vibe to it - quite in contrast to what the music supe was asking for. Also notice the dominant presence of the guitar riff in I think 3 of the à las?

I like your track, it's interesting and fun and hopefully the right listing will come up for it. Another arrow for your quiver as we say. It's a learning process. :-)

I hope this helps in some way.
Juliet
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Re: I missed this one I thought I nailed - insights welcome!

Post by funsongs » Mon Oct 06, 2014 2:30 pm

fwiw: I listened to those ala bands back in the day. Not to sound too detached or brutal,
but just :20 into the song and I was feeling "Lovin' Spoonful"/John Sebastian (folksy) vibe.
Definitely not Steppenwolf.
While it might not be suited for this particular listing; it may well be spot-on for a different one.
hth;
Cheers.
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Re: I missed this one I thought I nailed - insights welcome!

Post by rksinger » Mon Oct 06, 2014 3:52 pm

Thanks guys!

I really appreciate both of you taking the time to listen and break things down, and especially the supportive tone of both of your replies.

I appreciate the advice on posting to the proper forum!!

Juliet :-) !!!

Your comments made the lightbulbs go off!

For some reason on this listing I didn't check the BPM of the referenced tracks- I know better!! My partner had the start of the song "How do I get out of here" which we had put away, originally saying it sounded too 70's. When this came up I jumped on that and we fleshed it out, not thinking to check the BPM's.

A slower tempo would have made the song breath more and my energy on this probably felt too fast for what the supervisor needed.

Also, YES! the vibe was much darker on the examples, much more minor sounding than mine - also something I know to pay attention to, but somehow lost track of in the excitement of thinking we had one with lots of promise!

I heard chamber (room with a speaker) reverb in the referenced songs, and having done that back in the day, I knew how to set it up. Though perhaps my bathroom is a bit smaller and resonant than those magical rooms under Capital Records. :-)

I think if the chords were darker it would have made the lyrics feel more ominous and more appropriate to what the supervisor was listening too.
Whew! I feel much better now knowing that my compass WAS a bit out of whack!

Much thanks!!

What a gift!

I feel inspired now, instead of deflated !! That is priceless!

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Re: I missed this one I thought I nailed - insights welcome!

Post by CrimsnSyrn » Mon Oct 06, 2014 4:39 pm

Hey Frank,

I'm so glad it was helpful. :-)

You have a great track there, you'll find a home for it somewhere. :-)
Juliet
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