Is this song journey working for your ears?

[nylyrics]

If anyone would like to take a listen to this updated melody on I've Got To Kiss You - the music link is at
www.taxi.com/andymackay (not the below link)
and the latest lyrics right below: Any comments on melody/lyrics would be appreciated - it would be sung
by pro demo singer if we can get it to that stage. Looking for what is not working mainly - but if there are aspects you like - sure a pat on the back never hurts to get the old inspiration juices flowing.......

Thanks - Andy and Ken

I’ve Got to kiss you

© Andy Mackay/Ken Fukuda



V1:

No one takes me to their flower fields

Slows me down and shows me how it feels

In beautiful places, the way that you do

You love your vintage books and simple clothes

Sunrise coffees and your Sunday strolls

You’ve got an old soul

A free spirit



PRE:

With you I see how blue the sky can be

And at last, Im feelin’ this heart inside of me

And I cant help it

I’m helpless



CHORUS:

Girl, I’ve got to kiss you, somehow

Girl, I really miss you, right now

I know that its real and I hope that you feel

The (same) way that I do

Coz girl, I’ve gotta kiss, …..you

Girl I’ve got to kiss, ….. you



VERSE 2

You got me singing to the midnight moon

Losing sleep walking round my room

If there’s a train to you I want every ticket (pending)



PRE:

I need to see how blue your eyes can be,

Coz its true, you make the sun shine inside of me

And I can’t help this

I’m helpless



CHORUS:

Girl, I’ve got to kiss you, somehow

Girl, I really miss you, right now

I know this is real and I hope that you feel

The (same) way that I do

Coz girl, I’ve gotta kiss, …..you

Girl I’ve got to kiss, ….. you



BRIDGE IDEA:

I try flipping the channels, to pass the time

But nothing is on

And there goes my mind

I see your lips on mine………



CHORUS:

Girl, I’ve got to kiss you, somehow

Girl, I really miss you, right now

I know that its real and I hope that you feel

The (same) way that I do

Coz girl, I’ve gotta kiss, …..you



OUTRO:

Girl I’ve got to kiss, …you

This one thing’s for sure, girl, ...you

Girl I’ve got to kiss, …you

Girl I’ve gotta kiss you…

[eeoo]

Hey Andy and Ken - Dude, I love your voice! I know this is just a rough but seriously, you have a really nice texture vocally, just sayin', might be worth doing a singer/songwriter version yourself cuz you can really sing and obviously you play guitar well.

I'm not a great lyric critiquer but I thought the first 2 lines of the chorus sounded a little too "rhymey", if there's something a little more unexpected you can replace "I really miss you" with i think it would be an improvement.

I also thought you could have waited another measure before you started the pre-chorus.

Lovely song,

eo

[remoteoutofcontrol]

Hey Andy and Ken - Dude, I love your voice! I know this is just a rough but seriously, you have a really nice texture vocally, just sayin', might be worth doing a singer/songwriter version yourself cuz you can really sing and obviously you play guitar well.

I'm not a great lyric critiquer but I thought the first 2 lines of the chorus sounded a little too "rhymey", if there's something a little more unexpected you can replace "I really miss you" with i think it would be an improvement.

I also thought you could have waited another measure before you started the pre-chorus.

Lovely song,

eo

Thank you so much for the feedback, eo! I try to do my best with the limited vocal and guitar work that I have lol I'll leave the lyrical aspect to Andy. I'll make sure to look into the timing for the pre-chorus - thanks for bringing it up

Ken