Can anyone give me thoughts on my old material?

[FleabaitMoomer]

Hi, I've some lyrics I'd like honest opinions as to writing quality:

Love and war
Said the watchful stranger to this land
Is killing for the one I love
I see her beautiful beautiful ways
And I also see the knife
So strong emotions emotions
Maybe put down our guns and love a while
Knowing that would only lead me to the fight
Something Prozium won't do
I can't help it Daphne, I love you

And more stuff if anyone's interested

Thanks!

Fleabait

[FMstereo]

Hi Fleabait

If you post this up in the Lyric Lovers part of the Forum you'll probably get more replies. You'll also be able to see and comment on other members' lyrics.

Cheers