Last Ride In Life

[the1lyricistmm]

Hello fellow forum members,

I need your suggestions on these lyrics. Am I on to something good with these lyrics below or do I need to scrap them? I've been working on and off on this particular set of lyrics for awhile. I think there getting closer to being completed but I keep coming back to the lyrics and making corrections.

I picture this particular set of lyrics being used in an upbeat, rock song. The kind of song Metallica or a similar band would record.

Feel free to give me any feedback...good or bad regarding the lyrics.

Thank you!

Mary


Last Ride In Life

Sinister storm clouds in the distance
Rebels born to offer our resistance
Bonnie and Clyde of this generation
Standing on the edge of life sensation

Chorus:
Can't hear anyone pleads we're in too deep
Last ride...last ride... last ride in life
No future plans cause we're in too deep
Last ride...last ride...last ride in life

The time has arrived to lose control
Lost in the world with our dead souls
Close our eyes throw caution to the wind
No idea how this tragic story will end

Guitar break: (bridge)

Love to accelerate love the speed
Our lives ruined by the need for speed
Hold on tight as debris starts to fly
Kiss my lips this is our last good bye

Closing chorus:
Screams heard from the right we're in too deep
Last ride...last ride... last ride in life
No future plans cause we're in too deep
Last ride...last ride...last ride in life

Sirens blare notify our last of kin
Last ride...last ride... last ride in life
The story has finally come to an end
Last ride...last ride...last ride in life

[TheFates]

Hi Mary,

Thanks for sharing your lyrics! My comments are below:

1) Sinister storm clouds - sound redundant. When aren't storm clouds sinister?
2) "Standing on the edge of life sensation" - What does this mean?
3) Should read - anyone's pleas not pleads (plea is the noun, plead is the verb)

It took me a while to realize that this is about a doomed romance sung by one of the lovers. I would suggest making that more clear in the first paragraph.

Hope this helps!

Elizabeth

[the1lyricistmm]

Thank you, I'll look into the suggestions when I work on it the next time.

[the1lyricistmm]

Thank you. I will definitely take those suggestions in account when I work on rewriting the song.