Why so serious?

[Geir]

Hi folks!

I recently got hit hard and thoroughly kicked where it hurts most by a Taxi screener for this song.
Not for the structure, the song, the production or anything else relatively objective, but because he/she reacted very, very strongly to the fact that this screener found this song to be offensively sexist.

I hate to disagree, but I claim that this song is not sexist at all. There are, after all, a zillion people out ther like this guy - both men and women.

And, believe it or not, their problem is not sexist, but psychological - these are people who are afraid to commit to responsibilty and afraid to get "tied down" and to "lose their freedom". They also have an absolute need to get renewed confirmation of their appeal as interesting people. That's what keeps them going (again, this applies to both the guys and the gals).

I wrote this song as a foot-tapping, sing-a-long, feel-good thing that would have them in a good mood in a Texas line-dance bar. Or anywhere else where people are enjoying themselves.

So why so serious? Why can't we just smile and enjoy ourselves instead of figuring out if someone might possbily be trying to stamp on our political big toe??

So hit me if I'm wrong ... I can take it ...

Geir
Here's the culprit:
https://soundcloud.com/gk-songs/so-many ... nly-one-me

[funsongs]

Howdy... fwiw: it would be helpful, imho, if you posted the lyrics on your SC page;
especially in light of you're asking for feedback about the content, and that it's sing-a-long.
hth;
Cheers, (now to go back and finish listening to the track... )
Peter R. (old-school Country music fan)

ed. maybe it's just a sign of the times, whatever. I think the storyline is good, and the
music fits right where you describe it. Makes me think of George Strait's "All My Exes".
Even so, I can easily hear this being done by Jason Aldean; which makes it fit into the current wave of New Country.
If it was my song, I'd ask for a second opinion.
(but, they might just say... "Well, okay: you're ugly, too!!")

[Fullertime]

Hey Geir,

Thanks for posting a very unique topic:) lol

A couple of questions for you first.

What was the submission for? Can you post the listing... It's hard to critique without knowing exactly what the target was...

Also, songs are very personal, have you had a chance to step back from your personal connection with the song and really ask why the screener may have reacted that way?

The reason I ask, is because there was something about your song, wrong or right, that offended them. So it may be worth it to really see if you could understand their point of view even a little. Music is after all about connecting with and understanding the listener....


Ok now my two cents... (completely my opinions so take it with a grain of salt)

Screeners are people. And just like any business, you have to work with people. When a screener forwards a song they are essentially putting their reputation on the line on your behalf. So naturally, if they feel something that hits them the wrong way about your lyric, they will not forward it. Every screener of course is different, but they each will have a unique reaction. This particular screener found something about your song offensive so they passed.

Here's why I "think" it came off as offensive to the screener:

1. The singer is celebrating the fact that he uses women strictly for sex (by one definition this is sexist:) Although, your verse refrain puts into light that women do it too, that doesn't really make the singer any more likable:) The truth is, people don't like to admit their flaws much less tell the world about them in song... and I would agree that going through women like dominos is a flaw:) no offense. The same about women who go through guys like dominos. Not a great personal trait. Especially because from this singers point of view, he almost seems TOO proud of it:) Maybe a little remorse or self deprication would have helped. a line or two like "I wish I wasn't this way...." or "What am I afraid of..." you know?

2. Genre wise - if this was a hip-hop or R&B song... it would seem fairly normal. As most often those songs are about sleeping around & partying anyways... a lot ot R&B songs are straight up EXPLICIT and trashy but oh well.. to each his own:) I've never really liked that approach. And fortunately we can each choose what we listen to.

If you listen to Modern Country, yes there are lots of songs about relationships, but they are almost ALWAYS about one man & one woman. So because of the genre, this song may appear more offensive than if it was in a different category... make since?

I would say there are NO country artists that would cut a song like this because they wouldn't want to turn off 85% of there listeners/music buyers... which are women who are looking for an honest good man:) Make since? And the bottom line for labels is to sell songs and get radio play....

The biggest country hits are usually songs about lasting love, commitment, working hard, giving people the benefit of the doubt and having good clean fun... oh yeah... and drinking a lot:)


So to summarize, while you may be absolutely singing about a truth of life for a lot of people... I can see why the screener was offended. Not sure if they needed to reprimand you like a parent or anything, but I can see why they said it seemed a little sexist. But like every critique, it's one persons opinion.


Anyway, hope this helps give you another perspective.

But hey, remember, music is all about creating emotion. And you did that... Unfortunately, it wasn't the emotion you were hoping for:)

Blessings,

Fuller

[VanderBoegh]

Hmmmmm, wow, this is an interesting one. Could be that you struck a personally sensitive chord with the screener, or maybe the screener was cognizant of the idea that these "ladies man" songs might not play as good with audiences as they used to.

What you've got - essentially - is the lyrical idea that a dude is loved & adored by all sorts of women, and he doesn't have time to get to them all. Okay, this is where personal sensitivities may come into play. Personally, I don't find your presentation of this topic sexist or demeaning. In fact, it kinda made me think of two other songs that have successfully done a similar thing:

Dion & the Belmonts - "The Wanderer": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVzU--Qp5fE
Too Short - "Cocktails": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zqPHcwdRkc (warning, very explicit)

Now, one of these songs was a huge hit in the 60's, and the other is now a dirty rap classic. I'm sure many (probably nearly all) people would agree that Too Short's song is quite sexist, but isn't the same concept happening in Dion's "The Wanderer"? Note, I said same concept, not same delivery or gratuitousness!

And in today's world of modern country, with guys like Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, and Florida Georgia Line all singing about girls wearing "painted-on jeans" and asking them to "bring me another beer", couldn't those guy's hits be considered sexist too? Clearly the female duo Maddie & Tae thought so, or they wouldn't have written their breakout hit "Girl in a Country Song": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MOavH-Eivw

BUT - and this is a big one - the comment regarding sexism might not even matter, if your song didn't fit the listing requirements. I'm thinking if you pitched this to a modern country listing, you'd get returned because your sound is more akin to 1990's or early 2000's country structure, progressions, style, production, etc. In which case, it doesn't matter if your song is sexist or not, it just doesn't sound modern.

So, post the text of the listing you pitched this song towards so we can make a more educated response!

~~Matt

[Kolstad]

If the work is not serious, or committed if you like, it's no fun. There may not be a lot at stake when you are writing your song in your own comfortable and safe personal environment, but for an artist singing to the world in big arenas, often sponsored by big corporations and in an Intercultural public space, there's a lot more. But maybe you mean why is it taken literal, or interpreted from a political angle?

I can see why the screener thinks it's sexist. The lyric can be understood like all women are the same, but the guy is unique, which I think is a sexist perspective too. Sure, there are some sexist songs out there, but when you are pitching a song to artists, and it has just a potential interpretation as being sexist, it's a liability. And beyond that, why would you want to insist on crowding public space with sexist messages (of course I don't think you would)?

The main problem is that if anyone in the chain catches up on that (possible) interpretation, it will make them look really, really bad. It will make a&r look bad, and in the end the artist will look bad and loose face, fans and public image. It really doesn't matter if you personally thinks the lyric is sexist or not, it's enough if just one person can get that idea from litening to the song.

There's a big difference what can be said in the personal domain and what can be said in the public space. artists can sometimes use (and abuse) their position in public space, but a songwriter just can't, because you don't have direct access to public space (unless you put the work out there yourself). Considering "possible interpretations" is part of the business in professional songwriting, I've learned this from both song coaching, cowriting, and submission feedback.

So, I think the song is an example of something that cannot be said in a lyric that are to be pitched to an artist. If you think it's just "fun", you always have the choice to publish it yourself, of course. There may be an issue with the nuances in the language, so maybe include a cowriter that is native english speaking and discuss the critique with him/her? That might be a viable route to get the song in a pitchable shape..

As I see it, the main problem is that you won't get the gig, if you don't respond appropriately to the critique. I don't think this critique will be unique to this one screener, but I could be wrong. People have been wrong on the Internet before

[billhullett]

Hi Geir....
I live in Nashville and have been a full time session musician since 1980 and without exaggerating I can say I've played on 100 songs over the years that would have fallen in the same category....Remember the Ronnie McDowell tune "OLDER WOMEN MAKE BETTER LOVERS" or for that matter Waylon Jennings "GOOD HEARTED WOMAN" or even The Eagles "TAKE IT EASY" they all approach your general thought...I think that your bridge sums it up and vindicates the offensive slant by him experiencing the other side of the coin and getting dumped himself....BUT...maybe, Instead of saying "I know that it's wrong" in each chorus you might start out in the chorus' saying "Some say that it's wrong" and after YOU get dumped in the bridge the final chorus could say "I learned it was wrong, but there was so many women and just one me" that way there is a moral to the story , even though I realize the tongue in cheek in which it was written.....These are different times than 30 years ago and I wish that people didn't bruise so easily now, but it's all about writing for the moment , not the past I guess.....The bottom line is you want to get your song off the Taxi cutting room floor and out in someone's hands so a re sing of some sort is probably mandatory at this point.

Bill Hullett

[Geir]

Sorry for the delay in replying …
I’ve spent a long Easter in the mountains with no internet connection and have just got back.

Thanks for your comments – as always a lot of sense in what you put up on the forum.
One of many valid points made, was that singers want to look good and it might therefore be hard to find someone willing to sing this song as it is, and I should therefore consider making the guy a little more sympathetic. I think this is worth looking at.

However, the song itself is not the essence of what I brought up – some will hate it, some may possibly even like it, and most will probably be indifferent to it – that’s life, and I accept that.

But the point I was trying to make was that I think a screener or critic should objectively try to tell us if they like or dislike the song for whatever the reason, but should not allow their personal prejudices, politics of any-and-all kinds, personal traumas from the past or present, or anything like that, to influence their critique.

I acknowledge that all these things are serious and personal stuff. But personally I think they should stay out of the ball game. After all, although our songs are important for the people who make them, they are still only songs. So why so serious ...?

Geir

[Kolstad]

I understand where you are coming from, Geir. Music needs to be fun, especially as a gtr player, I get bored pretty quickly if I can't dig in. A lot of tv/film music is very disciplined and arranged in order to stay out of the way, and just provide a certain mood or groove. So, often most of the fun is in the writing, using a modal progression, utilize an idea to play around the 6th, find a nice kick-bass lock ect.

But if you think the screener was hard on you, you should try a shot of Ralph Murphy. As a former ASCAP Vice President and Platinum songwriter, I believe he's a big influence on the criteria A&R are considering. THAT's a reality test (still in a good way). Americans just don't kid around with their music!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7yykcoyMcw

[melodymessiah]

ha-ha! i'm not a big country fan, but i really enjoyed this one!

wether the song was right for the listing or not, has nothing to do with the screeners reaction. she (i assume it's a female screener) obviously let her personal hung ups with this issue shine true, not being professional. for this reason i wouldn't take these comments to seriously.

i wonder how the screener would have reacted if the song was from a female point of view, with a female singer singing about men the same way. is being a "sexist" only allowed for woman? if so, isn't that sexism?

[sansharbour]

Mickey Gilley had a song called The Girls all Get Better Looking at Closing Time.
He was the artist so he could do whatever he wanted . The Guys liked that song. I'm not sure what the girls thought.

It was a fun song plain and simple. Yours is a fun song tool.
If you were the artist then we probably wouldn't be talking about it.

BUT not having seen the listing then unless the listing was asking for novelty fun country songs this may not pass the test.

I don't think it's sexist it's just plain fun.