100,000 Sandwiches

[GlennPageMusic]

Last year I wrote and recorded a Father's Day song. This year I've been working on a Mother's Day song, but I didn't finish the lyrics in time for the holiday. Here they are. Music still in progress.


"100,000 Sandwiches"

100,000 sandwiches is what she made
A different sandwich every single day
Ham and swiss or tuna fish with mayonnaise
Your mother made one every single day

She would wake up early every morning
And packed your lunch while you were still in bed
And drew some funny faces without warning
Your friends all saw and you wished you were dead

But 100,000 sandwiches is what she made
A snack or two was tossed in every bag
Non-descript chips, I don't know which, I think they were Lay's
With carrot sticks to balance out your swag

You would save your favorite for the finish
And tried to trade your veggies with your friends
But you would never trade a single minute
Knowing what you know now
If you knew it then

That even when she spread herself too thin
She still got up to do it all again

And 100,000 sandwiches were custom-made
Peanut butter with a little j
Cut in two and crust removed, you had it made
'Cause your mother loved you every single day
Yeah, your mother loved you every single day
100,000 times more than words can say


- Glenn Page, May, 2015

[joyfrost]

What a sweet sentiment. I can totally see this as one of the Mother's Day poems that all the kids use in their home made gifts. I'm excited to hear the music because right now it felt a bit more poem-y than song-y but I think these words are just so loving, kind and sweet.

[GlennPageMusic]

Thank you so much Joy! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave feedback. Here is a link to an acoustic demo of the song, if you're curious! http://youtu.be/qKsosQIC40o

[GlennPageMusic]

I also liked your music pages. Thanks again!

[mikemichnya]

Hey Glenn,

What a cool idea! Very folky. I especially like that you recorded the youtube video in the kitchen... Now, if you'd had an open loaf of bread, some mayo, maybe a jar of pickles on the counter in the background, THAT would've been really funny...

FWIW, I'm not sure it works as well as an AABA song as it would in ABABCB form. Also, 100,000 is a LOT of sandwiches... If she made you three a day, it would still take more than 90 years to get to 100k...

Since you wrote it as a gift for your mom, I don't imagine that you'd consider changing it, but if you're open to it, I think it would be stronger if you turned your last verse into a chorus and took the "100,000 sandwiches..." line out of the verses and saved it as the hook for the chorus. The change in melody in the second of your double verse really says "chorus" and your last verse is really your chorus, as is or with some minor changes, IMHO...

If you did that, you'd also have to tweak the verses a little (ok, maybe more than a little). I suggest making your third verse your first verse, and combining the best lines/ideas from your third and fourth verses into a new second verse, but you're a talented enough lyricist to handle that without breaking a sweat... Something like (and this chorus isn't it):

Verse 1:
She woke up early every morning
Packed your lunch while you were still in bed
Drew some funny faces without warning
Your friends all saw and you wished you were dead

Chorus:
But the sandwich that she packed always saved the day
Ham and swiss or tuna fish with mayonnaise
Cut in two and crust removed, you had it made
100,000 sandwiches she custom made
'Cause your mother loved you every single day

Change the sandwich line from chorus to chorus to include different kinds of sandwiches ending w/that long 'a' rhyme ("Peanut butter with a little j", "Turkey salad, BLT's, even fish filet's..." etc.)...

But don't do it for me.... do it for your mom!

Seriously, Glenn, it's a great idea ~ I think you can make it even better. Whatever you decide, I'm sure your mom loved it!

[GlennPageMusic]

Dear Mike,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen and reflect carefully on my song. The input is always welcome, and I am always fully willing to change a song if I feel it will improve on the existing song. So I will definitely consider what you are saying!

One thing I would like to point out, though, is that I actually DID write the song in A-B-A-B-C-A-B-B format, but incorporated a few deliberate twists. The parts that start with "100,000 sandwiches" are ostensibly the verses, and there are three of them. That first line in each could be construed as a refrain, the way the old standards sometimes did.

The weird thing is that this song also has a musical "chorus", which the old standards did not usually have; they would usually just incorporate the refrain into the verse (or stanza), or they would just consider the verse to be the chorus itself. My song has a discrete verse and chorus, but still has a refrain at the top of the verses. The chorus in my song is the part that starts with "She would wake up" and "you would save". Musically, those are the chorus bits in this song, but (in an unorthodox fashion) , the lyrics switch each time. I realize that goes against the nature of a chorus, but the true nature of the chorus becomes clear during the "na na na" bit at the end.

I was aware when I wrote this that the more "normal" thing to do would be write repeating words for the chorus. But part of me liked the refrain effect at the top of each verse and the effect of a thinly-veiled chorus which comes into its own at the very end.

I mean, let's be honest: even if I re-vamp this thing, no one would have any use for it. Anachronistic, articulate, heartfelt and slightly unorthodox tunes like this one barely, if ever, get through to taxi (sorry taxi!). With that in mind, I figured there was no harm in getting creative and experimenting with the structure if it was something that I felt worked. Besides, it's not like I went off the rails crazy with the structure - it's just a slightly altered version of the usual rules.

Still, I will reflect carefully on your suggestions and think about incorporating them. Thank you again, sir!

[mikemichnya]

Hey Glenn,

let's be honest: even if I re-vamp this thing, no one would have any use for it. Anachronistic, articulate, heartfelt and slightly unorthodox tunes like this one barely, if ever, get through to taxi (sorry taxi!).

I hope that's not true. It's the anachronistic, articulate, heartfelt and slightly unorthodox tunes that I really like, and there's a lot to like about your tune, IMHO. I'd be looking for those 'hard to classify' listings, and if there's ever a listing looking for mother's day or folk tunes, this could work.

It's really a neat little folk song; in a weird way (because it's not really like it), it reminded me of the Lou and Peter Berryman tune "A Chat with your Mom" (aka the F-word song). I think there are many mom's who would really appreciate this song, structural experiment and all.

The funny thing is, I completely get the experiment you were trying here with the structure. I once wrote a song as an exercise to try to have all the end rhymes in the verses rhyme "-il" - a difficult syllable. (Of course, the feedback I got was that I might want to have some variation in my rhyme scheme... ) The musical variation in your even "verses" where the chorus "should" be, and the refrain in the verses is like a structural mash-up, but because there were no repeating lyrics, I heard it as AABA, with double verses.

You can break "the usual rules" as long as you know what they are, have a good reason for breaking them and, most importantly, what you do works... You risk making it somewhat less accessible to the average listener when you do that, and you narrow your audience accordingly. Of course, you wrote this for YOUR mom, and you can't really get smaller than an audience of one, so you can throw the rules out the window...

Glenn, I appreciate your willingness to consider my suggestions, and the clarification about what you were trying to do here. Very creative and ballsy. If you're ever looking for a co-writer, I'd be up for it.

[GlennPageMusic]

Hey Mike,

Thanks for calling me creatively ballsy! I actually don't think I'm THAT far out there, but considering the milquetoast faux-edgy crap out there combined with the creative straight jacket the music industry has everyone in... Well, I guess I'm a freaking wild man!!!! HahahaHahahaha!


You know, taxi claims they want us to be "edgy" (in what I regard as generally meaningless, superficial ways) but the truth of it is, the music industry is far, FAR more restrictive than it ever was. It has to be because they're losing money hand over fist these days. Maybe not in all respects, but definitely when it comes to recording artists. Ask anyone who's been in the business for a few decades and they'll tell you that's true. That's why there's less creative leeway for the artists and the labels have to milk (more than in the past) records and sounds by their cash cows (Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, etc.) to DEATH - they bank on those acts to make up for everything else.


What you said about rhyme schemes sounds like my typical taxi experiences - they SAY they want something slightly out of the box, but when you push the boundaries ever sooooo slightly they automatically assume you didn't know what you were doing. Then if you deliberately DON'T push boundaries they accuse you of being generic. It never seems to occur to them that you, the artist, are weighing options and making conscious aesthetic decisions.


Believe it or not, I'm a generally self-effacing guy and pretty humble about my songs. But I'm my harshest critic, and I tear everything apart, so I KNOW when I've actually written something good. THAT'S when I have to stand up for my songs. I can't stand idly by when someone tries to tell me that "Passenger" write great, emotional lyrics when my lyrics clearly kick Passenger's teeth in.

And the proof is in the pudding: I can't tell you how many times taxi has shot something down, or glossed over a great lyric, only for a random musician/peer on the internet to turn around and tell me (unsolicited) how great a certain song is or how much a song or particular lyric I've written means to them.


Taxi may be helping a lot of people - and god bless them for that - but I strongly suspect there are a lot MORE people like me: people who have become disillusioned and grown despondent, throwing away most of their creative gifts in the process. And that's a tragedy, because, like I said, I know when I've done good work. What a horrible waste of my talents and everyone else's who didn't have an Ed Sheeran re-write in them.


Thanks for the collaboration offer, my friend. If I ever write again, I'll definitely keep you in mind!

[PENKSLYRICS]

Love this, great write!

Beautiful sentiment, great way of acknowledging the dedication of Mother's worldwide.

[IngridElkner]

Cute!
Here's an idea - don't make it about "your mother", say "my mother"! Otherwise you're talking at us, telling us how we should feel. Better we hear your relationship with your mother and relate to it. Then we're not picturing miscellaneous mothers across the world making her kids sandwiches like a lunch slave, we're picturing your life with your mother, and remembering back on our own.
Awesome idea for a song!