Totally disagree with return from screener #132...Comments??

[jmkSlyder]

Hey guys,

Just got a listing returned for "Nobody Cried" and I'm in total disagreement with and confused by the listener's assessment.

Here was the original listing:

RETRO-Influenced, Bluesy ALT ROCK SONGS with Male Vocals are needed for a NON-Exclusive (up to $2,000) placement by the Music Supervisor of a Hollywood Feature Film. The Supervisor needs original, Down-to-Mid-Tempo Songs in the stylistic wheelhouse of acts like The Black Keys, Hanni El Khatib, The Heavy, etc., etc., etc. Please listen to the following references to get in the ballpark of what they need: “Too Afraid To Love You” by The Black Keys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laXVRmRAUjU “Worship Song (No. 2)” by Hanni El Khatib: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whDyOCSF6PI “Cause For Alarm” by The Heavy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLt9WziNF2w Please submit Alt Rock Songs with contemporary “lo-fi” production, some retro influence, and a groove that sits nicely in “the pocket.” They’re looking for songs that sound like they’d be on a playlist of people who are fans of the above acts, and have that “real band” sound, as opposed to a “library-ish” quality. If your vocal has an angst-y, Blues-y quality to it, and a little distortion to boot, you just might get to the top of this Supervisor’s list! Lyric themes can be about anything you’d typically expect to hear in a Bluesy, Alt Rock Song. Though the selected song will be used as a background source music placement (likely in a jukebox/bar setting), and having universal lyrics is not all that important, you might give your song a competitive edge by avoiding references to specific names, places, times, dates, brands, and profanity. Do not copy or rip off the referenced acts or songs in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, texture, tone, and vibe. Broadcast Quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine). The estimated license fee for this is $2,000, depending on the ultimate placement. This is a Non-Exclusive, Direct-to-Music Supervisor pitch, so you’ll keep 100% ownership of your Master and Publishing rights, plus you’ll also get 100% of the sync fee and any applicable performance royalties! No Publisher Splits. You must own or control your Master and Copyright to pitch for this opportunity. All songs will be screened on a Yes/No basis. No full critiques. Please submit one to three Songs online or per CD, no later than 11:59PM (PDT), on Saturday, August 1st, 2015. TAXI #U150801AR

Here are the listener's comments:
Status: Return

Reasons not Forwarded:
Vocal Performance
Instrumental Performance
Recording

Stylistically Off Target
Music
Other


Guitar has some performance issues as does the music & vocal track & will not meet the Broadcast Quality standard needed by the listing. Music style also not close enoughy to the Blues Alt. Rock style requested .

Listener ID # 132


In addition to having only negative comments and no comments on the song structure itself, I'm also not sure what SPECIFIC performance issues there were with my submission. For example, he said there were some issues with the vocal track....conversely, I thought the lead vocal and the back-up gang vocals and "Ohhs" were one of the strongest items on the track. As far as any guitar issues, I purposely had a cacophonous lead guitar part in the beginning (which can similarly be heard on some Black Keys tracks) to give the feeling of chaos. Also, I'm not sure about the basis of his ..."""will not meet Broadcast Quality" comment. I thought the quality was pretty clean and the track also met the lo-fi "...in the pocket" requirement.

Anyway, I would appreciate it if you could take a listen to "Nobody Cried" at http://www.taxi.com/jmkslyder and let me know any comments you may have.

Thanks for reading my whinny complaint...

John Michael Karnatz

[Paulie]

I just listened, below are my comments as I listened through the track:

There is a strong buzz right when the track starts.
The guitar is out of tune in some places during the intro.
The guitar double picking around 0:20 is sloppy
It doesn't feel like the bass and drums are locked in to each other.
The vocal struggles with pitch at times, (for example "bottle of gin")
The harmonica solo has good feeling to it, but is a little pitchy at times.
The bass seems very hot throughout the mix.
I like the groove at 2:13, I thought it would be a departure or B section, wanted to hear more of that groove.
The vocals could use some compression to level them out a bit.
I hear some cracking in the last few seconds, not sure if it is from the guitar or bass.

I think it's a good song and an emotional performance, it just need some polish. I agree with the screener for the most part. BUT, I know how you feel, I've had a whole lot of returns this year (about 17 last month), and 9 times out of 10 I agree with the screeners. I view each submittal (return or forward) as a learning opportunity. '

Keep at it!

[andygabrys]

I think Paulie noted a bunch of things that are worth checking out.

You would likely find it enlightening to go back through the episodes of TAXI TV and find the ones where Michael discusses what "Broadcast Quality" actually is. Like this one: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/59198143

You are going to hear what he says...but I have it that Broadcast Quality is combination of "on target" writing, arrangement, performance, mix, and "master".

So if the performance is weak, there's little chance of mixing it in a fantastic fashion and getting a forward.

Or if the arrangement is far from the a la tracks - your track is going to be the one "kid that's doing it's own thing".

Even a fantastic song - written, performed, arranged, mixed, "mastered" - but off target compared to the example tracks is going to get a return. Like blues a la John Lee Hooker is a different animal from the Black Keys.

[VanderBoegh]

Hey John, don't take offense to this, but I had a hard time getting into the groove of this song after the opening. The guitar was mixed pretty loudly and sounded too in-your-face compared to the rest of the instruments for the remainder of the track, and the playing felt like it left something to be desired... Another pass on that solo would help. Maybe a little reverb too, to fill in the blanks and make the playing sound more smooth. Bass could probably come down like Paul mentioned too.

One other thing as an aside here: the line "it's 3:00 in the morning and I'm on my own again; I tried to find the answer in bottle of gin". This seems to border on cliche' for me, like "gin" is the standard word that people use when rhyming with the word "again". Plus, to comment further on just this line, one could argue that the second part of that line has no real relation to the first part... you're saying that a bottle on gin might be the answer... but to what question? In order to answer a question, there must be a question posed in the first place.

Don't take this as slamming your song. But in trying to compete with the big boys of the music world, our music needs to be on par with what people from major labels are making, or we'll lose every time. These couple of things I mentioned (the intro guitar work, and the lyrical content) need to be of super polished quality to stand a shot. Remember, when you're making songs with lyrics, every lyric must count and be a logical progression of the theme or emotion. Just using words because they're an easy rhyme won't cut it. Unless you're the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

~~Matt

[jmkSlyder]

Paulie, Andy , and Matt,

Thanks for taking the time to read my post, listen to "Nobody Cried," and offer your comments. I really appreciate it!

John Michael Karnatz

[pegprod]

I just wanted to say I enjoyed listening to your song and think it has some very cool potential. As my husband noted the intro sounds a lot like a Janis Joplin song and that's a compliment- I like the grunginess there. I listened to a bit of your other stuff and they seem to have that live haveachicagobeer kinda sound. I feel your song is actually better than the referenced songs on the listing however I'm not referring to it's production. I think it could be argued that it fits into the genre requested as well. As far as cliches well blues is full of them. To me this situation with your song is all about getting a better mix and maybe a tad of pitch/timing/performance correction. There are a lot of great artists who have sloppy rhythms i.e. Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan. The harmonica gives it a more traditional sound-would be awesome to hear some horn pads as an alternate. You obviously have a lot of talent. Would be great to hear the mix/production get up to the next level. Best of luck!

[jmkSlyder]

Hi pegprod,

Thanks for reading my post and listening to "Nobody Cried." I agree with all that you said about the blues and getting a real feel for what you're playing (as opposed to generating a "perfect" ProTools track).

Thanks Again!

John Michael Karnatz

[CharlesLorenMusic]

I think the song itself is a good jam. My only criticism would be the quality; it's not terrible, it just sounds un-mixed.. very dry and direct sounding guitar and bass.. if you don't mind me asking what program you used to record? There could be some easy editing tricks to get it up to "broadcast quality" for taxi

[jmkSlyder]

Charles,

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and listen to "Nobody Cried."

John Michael Karnatz

[Piewackit1]

Returns suck, but I try to learn from each of them. Your song has some interesting parts, but it's not close enough to the referenced artists. I would first listen to their(referenced artists) drum sounds. Your drums are very clean and the Black Keys drums are big and saturated.

After that I think Paulie nails all the suggestions I would make.

Keep at it John!