Does this title/hook line work?

Want your lyics reviewed? Post 'em up!

Moderators: admin, mdc, TAXIstaff

User avatar
AmandaJane
Impressive
Impressive
Posts: 499
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:17 pm
Gender: Female
Location: South Galway, Ireland
Contact:

Re: Does this title/hook line work?

Post by AmandaJane » Sun Jan 10, 2016 11:26 am

I really love the hook/title, and I'd be sad to see that part changed.
Totally agree re the 'hanging' word/line, but I think for me it's just the word 'hanging' I am not 100% happy with.

Chorus hook line idea
Quote: "I think of you and I lose control
I struggle to breathe as the air gets thinner
Your name leaves my lips, and slowly dies
From a scream to a whisper"

I too would love to hear it to music :)
Sláinte, Amanda



Amanda Jane West - Lyricist | SoundCloud | My Website |

User avatar
Casey H
King of the World
King of the World
Posts: 14163
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Contact:

Re: Does this title/hook line work?

Post by Casey H » Sun Jan 10, 2016 11:45 am

Hi Amanda!

I ended up going with "It's Only A Whisper"... It's all on another thread (bad singing et al!)... http://forums.taxi.com/topic133369.html

Thanks!!
:D Casey

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests