tension feedback?

[hummingbird]

What'cha think? Is it on target?

EDITED TRACK:
https://soundcloud.com/hummingbird-26/h ... ff/s-XPa5z


LISTING
TENSION-BASED UNDERSCORE INSTRUMENTAL CUES in various styles (minimal, orchestral, or hybrid) are needed by a globally recognized Production Music Library with lots of great placements in TV Commercials, Sports Programming, and Movie/Video Game Trailers. It’s been almost a year since they’ve run a listing with TAXI, and we’re very excited to have them back! They’re actively searching for well-crafted, Down-to-Mid-Tempo Tension Cues in the general stylistic ballpark of these references:

How To Get Away With Murder (0:22 to : 1:15):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6eYn2u4Ass

CSI Cyber (0:00 to 1:30):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtAUmdD9ahM

Person Of Interest (0:00 to 3:38):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQnTY3m_gIQ

Criminal Minds (1:04 to 3:16):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVE78jv6xzg

Please submit Tension Instrumental Cues that can range from minimalistic and mood-setting, to fuller sounding arrangements with the addition of hybrid elements. Craft your Cues around a melodic theme that conveys a rising level of anxiety, discomfort, and suspense, while weaving layers of instrumentation/elements in and out to create dynamics and momentum. Whichever style you decide to submit, please be sure your samples are really current sounding and well executed.

All submissions should be at least 2 minutes long, with a crescendo that leads to a buttoned/stinger ending. Do NOT copy or rip off the referenced material in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a guide for texture, tone, and the tense vibe. Broadcast Quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine).

They offer an EXCLUSIVE deal. You’ll split all upfront sync fees 50/50. You’ll keep 100% of the Writer’s share and the Publisher will get 100% of the Publisher’s share. You must own or control your Master and Copyright. Since this is an EXCLUSIVE deal, please be sure the material you submit for this pitch is NOT already signed with any other Libraries or Catalogs. Please submit one to three Instrumental Cues online or per CD no later than 11:59pm (PDT), on Thursday, June 16th, 2016. TAXI #U160616TC

[burpo]

The piano sprinkles could use some 'verb IMO.

Some this is very Ocean's Eleven. (You might think about adding
a low swell near the end.)

Love it.

Great job.

-b

[DanLuedke]

Yes, I think it's on target especially considering how broad the language of the listing is.

The three edit point/stingers kind of stand out to me and although it's hard for me to put my finger on, I think it's because all the instruments with big reverbs (string, metal drums, others?) drop out and so it feels like the track is suddenly in a smaller space. Maybe it's just me though.

Real nice tension/suspense cue though.

[kclements]

Hi Vikki -

Nice cue, and I think you have the overall vibe down.

One thing I noticed, around 0:47. Your melody hits aren't always on the downbeat, sometimes they are are the and of 4, sometimes they seem to be just missing the one. And the repeat of the phrase is a bit off kilter too around 0:57. But at 1:08 they hit the downbeat each time. It kind of takes me out of the scene. If you are going for off-kilter on those little hits, I think I would be more deliberate with them. To my ears, they sound like bad timing - which might be what you are going for. But the rest of the track doesn't read like that, so it really sticks out to me.

I like the little breaks and precision stops. What would it sound like if you found a more middle ground on the verb? Maybe bring down the verb on the wet parts a bit, and bring up the verb on the dry parts a bit? I don't know if it would work, but it might be worth a try.

One more thought, what if on the repeat at 1:34 you played those piano notes down in the lower octave of the piano - just to add another texture? maybe the strings too; have the Double Bass of Cello section play that line down in the basement? Just a thought.

Cheers
kc

[hummingbird]

Thanks everyone for the feedback, it's so great to have this resource!

I have edited the track taking all comments into consideration. I changed the link above, or you can link here to the new version - https://soundcloud.com/hummingbird-26/h ... ff/s-XPa5z

Hope it's better now!

cheers
H'bird

[hummingbird]

Just wanted to say, this one got the nod, thanks again for the help in getting it over the bar,

hugs
H'Bird

[burpo]

Fantastic!! Big congrats!!

-b

[Susanstunes]

Hi Vikki,
I don't know much about these types of samples but think I have a good ear. I listened to yours and thought it was full of tension but not scary - just slightly ominous-sounding and the various sounds you put in were interesting. I listened to one of the references and thought yours was better. Do you produce these from a home studio? So cool! Susan