new collab..i could love you better...mix help?

[feaker66]

So I was sitting in my lazy boy and played a D chord in fifth fret and then back to it's normal position leaving the open D string ring out the whole time. It was a cool transition. Thought of a song theme about a guy wanting his buddies girl and then just started. I sent all the words I had to lyrics matters (she helped me with my last song too) and she completely changed them to where everything actually made sense
I can't sing the final version because of another allergy attack, but I could work on the mix for awhile in the meantime. You will notice the final lyrics are there, but I have yet to sing them. Also there was a bad patch in the chorus where I say "I'll show you love" I had to cut and past that in and it is not a good fit yet. haha

I used a lot of distortion on the bass. Not sure about that. I put in a phaser guitar track for interest, but it does interfere with vox clarity. It said on the final mixdown I was 6 db over. I can't hear it.

Any comments general, or about any of the guitar tracks etc would be appreciated.

Sincerely

Paul

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_so ... D=13464758

I could love you better

I want you so bad I know I’m breaking the rules
I got my own girl but she’s nothin’ like you
Got no business thinkin all of the things that I do
He’s a good friend I’ve been hidin’ the truth

Just one sweet kiss I bet id be so good
I wanna hold you close..oh if I could

I could love you better than him
Just give me a chance and I’ll show you
I could love you better than him
I’ll show you love you didn’t know existed

The touch of your skin is gettin’ hard to resist
Twenty-four seven can’t stop thinkin' ‘bout it
I know what I want..and baby it's you
I got a feelin’ that you want what I do

Just one sweet kiss..I bet id be so good
I wanna hold you close..oh if I could

I could love you better than him
Just give me a chance and I’ll show you
I could love you better than him
I’ll show you love you didn’t know existed

Such a temptation ..Is it my imagination?
I..think you’re feelin’ it too
Got me so conflicted..but I keep on wishin’
I just don’t know what I should do (still I promise)

[funsongs]

Hey, Paul.
Nuther good one started - your vocal style/sound are 'signature-You'... and seems always suited to your song ideas; no need for apologies.
I was a little surprised, on first listen when you went from D to an A in the first line of your Chorus... when I sorta 'expected' the change to be to a C, or even Am7...
that's not a negative thing - just a surprise... and that can be a good thing.

Don't have any mix comments for you after one listen... but keep goin'...!
Hope that helps... whatever.
Cheers.

[lesmac]

Another one on the up and up Paul, gee your'e knocking out some good tunes lately.
I just listened through my laptop speakers so wont say much about the bass but your vocals were coming through quite well.
Maybe there is some masking in the low mids of the instruments possibly the distorted bass generating harmonics that compete with guitars etc.
The first ALA that popped into my mind was ELO.
Nice work keep a goin'.

[feaker66]

Peter I went back after you mentioned the C and Am7 chords and gave them a whirl on the acoustic. Yes, one could go that way. The song starts with going back and forth with the D and C chords. kinda hints for an A chord, but depends on you chorus notes I guess. kept it as simple as I could. lots of work left to do:)

Thanks for giving it a spin

Sincerely

paul

[feaker66]

Les, yeah these song come in waves. I guess it's better than nothing:) I think I have too many guitar tracks playin. That is what you might hear. I had to step away for a bit and get some feedback before tweaking the mix. It also said I was 6db over on the mixdown, but I didn't care at this point. First time I put some stank on the bass and kinda liked it?

Thanks for your 2 cents

Sincerely

paul

[songmaster]

Great song Paul! I agree with Les, you are putting out better and better tunes. The mix sounds great in my headphones, but I am sure you will get some more advice on the forum. Nice job

Tom

[feaker66]

Thanks for the encouraging words Tom. It is ten times easier to put out songs when you have a lyrics sheet sitting in front of you. This time I started with my own and had to go back and put in the good ones from lyrics matter. much harder:)
I just wish I were better with mix issues. Back when I played in our band, I had my guitar, a couple pedals and a twin reverb fender amp. Now the bands (and music production) have so much electronics/plugins etc. That's how I record now...simple. haha

Sincerely

Paul