Advice please on Return-Dance Pop Instrumental Cue

[Mixnow3]

Hello,

I received a return on the below track for a dance pop instrumental. The screener stated, "solid creativity, but I feel the top line could be streamlined with more focus on rhythmic groove". The good news is that I was not docked for being stylistically off target (I've been working harder to be on target). My interpretation of the screener's feed back is that the melody is too busy and that I need to implement more groove in both the melody and other components of the track. I had fun creating this track and will make changes for a future listing but I would appreciate anyone's feed back and guidance. Thanks

https://soundcloud.com/bill-kafka/the-new-me/s-4IYlK

ELECTRONIC-Based DANCE POP INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed for a $2,000, Non-Exclusive, Direct-to-Music Supervisor Placement for an Online Ad for a popular Beauty Brand. They’re looking for runway-style Mid-to-Up-Tempo Cues that generally match the vibe, intensity, and style of these references: “I Remember” by Deadmau5 & Kaskade: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUzVCw8BEXA “How Deep Is Your Love” by Calvin Harris: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgqUJOudrcM “Be Right There” by Diplo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIJ5XvZeb-k Please submit Cues that have a swanky and sophisticated vibe, with a strut-worthy “four-on-the-floor” beat, cool Electro “ear candy,” and a theme that’s both melodically and rhythmically engaging. All submissions should be at least 2:00 minutes in length, with good edit points and Non-Faded endings.

[Len911]

Bill, I have no clue what the screener was talking about, but I think a lead sound playing the topline and less of a pad sound, would have made the piece sound more solid and focused.

[Mixnow3]

Len911,

Thanks for the feedback. I will make changes. This makes sense and will help "thin out" the track as it currently sounds a little "thick". Sometimes less is more.