All she said was Maybe... *New Mix & Version!!*

SWD · Post by **SWD** » Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:45 pm

Hey Guys...

I'm throwing this at a pretty broad listing and am mainly looking for mix/production pointers but any and all comments welcomed!

Thanks, Geo

http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.php?artist=SWD

My page, first TWO songs....

New comments below

All She Said Was Maybe
Geo ©2009

All she said was maybe and not another word
She gave no rhyme or reason the whole thing’s really quite absurd
And I just stood there struck dumb by the refrain
That’s now playing like a broken loop just pounding on my brain

Maybe it’s time to pack my things get you out of my life for good
You think I’d never leave you maybe this time I should
Or should I stop and ask you more time, wait for a reply
Should I give you one more chance, well maybe you should tell me why
Why this can’t be like the other times when you let me have my way
Why won’t you even answer don’t you have anything else to say
Is everything OK

But all she said was maybe and not another word
She gave no rhyme or reason the whole thing’s really quite absurd
And I just stood there struck dumb by the refrain
That’s now playing like a broken loop just pounding on my brain

So maybe there was another girl but I thought you understood
If I’ve never said I’m sorry maybe this time I should
And promise this time is the last time, I’ll finally turn that page
Appreciate what I have maybe start to act my age
So I’m asking for forgiveness know there’s a price that must be paid
Please it can’t be too late now don’t you have anything else to say
Is everything OK

But all she said was maybe all she said was maybe
All she said was maybe all she said was maybe

All she said was maybe sounded suspiciously like no
Then leaned in for one last kiss turned and started to go
As I stood there that word sunk into my brain
Soon I came to realize I would never see her again

All she said was maybe all she said was maybe
All she said was maybe all she said was maybe

All she said was maybe and not another word
She gave no rhyme or reason the whole thing’s really quite absurd
And I just stood there struck dumb by the refrain
That’s now playing like a broken loop just pounding on my brain

All she said was maybe all she said was maybe
All she said was maybe all she said was maybe

Casey H · Post by **Casey H** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:27 pm

Hi Geo
Very catchy! Fun song!

I can't help you on the production & engineering side... I think this could make a good pop/punk song.

A few suggestions...

A few places may be more wordy or syllable heavy than needed.

You may have too many instrumental breaks-- I might go for one in a bridge section.

Tough call whether you should open with the chorus. Some think that's "giving it away too soon" unless the chorus is so freakin' killer it's a cinch... ("Build Me Up Buttercup", "Can't Buy Me Love")... Lyrically, it feels to me like your chorus requires a verse before it to set it up.

Good stuff!! Welcome back!! I'll be singing this hook for days!!

Casey

oakman · Post by **oakman** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:08 pm

Geo,

I've been hesitant to give too much advice in this forum because I'm so green, but I thought I should start to at least give it a try. I think Casey may have a point about it being a bit wordy at times. Before I read his response I was feeling like the phrasing was a bit rushed at times. And when I think about what I do sometimes when I get a bit wordy, I rush the phrasing.

The other thing I noticed was that I felt I wanted to hear some contrast. I don't have enough experience to tell you exactly what I want to hear, but I think it has something to do with EQing. Maybe the guitars are stepping on the same range as the vocals. I'm listening for the third time right now and it sounds like the vocals take a back seat at times.

Anyhow, it's an excellent tune and I love the guitar work. Thanks for sharing it. Hope I was of some help.

Mark

SWD · Post by **SWD** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 7:48 am

Thanks Casey and Mark..... guilty on the wordy part..... just look at the lyrics

... I've struggled with this song from a writing point of view.... it's should come across as a guy relating a break up to a friend..."she said... I said..." but it gets a little clunky and rushed at times... that was also the genesis behind the chorus first... a little "What happened.... All she said" but that I guess proves your point there as well Casey... I'll most likely rewrite after the critique

I'll remix and check out the EQ's Mark... it's an area I struggle with mixing... I lose defination after too many passes and should give it a rest every so often... but I don't... and Mark don't be shy feel free to comment on my stuff whenever

... a big part of my improvement here has come from interacting on the boards.

Thanks for the comments...
Peace, Geo

feaker66 · Post by **feaker66** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:22 pm

Geo

Thought you were a gonner.

What's this, not a new tune?

Like the overhaul yawl have done on this. Some great guitar fills inthere.

Funny that the comment of 'wordy" was used by a new guy

Needs some EQ. Lots of "stuff" fighting with Mike's vox.

The lead is great, but a little hot.

Been away from p2p last few seeks. Not feeling good.

Best to Kim

paul

SWD · Post by **SWD** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:32 pm

Hey Paul....

No not a gonner... just wanted to take some time off to get aligned.... plus travel to Conn. to record my friend Tim (lead guitar)

Don't worry I got some new ones but the mix on this one has been a struggle.... there are a lot of instruments and EQ'ing isn't my strong suit

Wordy!!! I mean look at the lyrics

... but I having trouble making cuts without reworking the whole thing.... which I most likely will!!

Kim says HI!! Hope you are feeling better...

Peace, Geo

SWD · Post by **SWD** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:55 am

Ok Casey I could kiss you!!

Chopped off the first chorus and like it!!!

Also think I improved the EQ situation...

Thanks for the feedback guys!!

Peace, Geo

billg1 · Post by **billg1** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 5:58 am

Hey GEO I remember this! Cool song-

I think I like the sound of the bass more in V2. My only suggestion is that the mix sounds a little squashed to me. I'd like to hear a fatter kick drum but it sounds like you'd have to have less master buss compression to allow the kick to "pop" through with some balls . . . know what I mean?

Anyway, good to know tou're still kickin' & glad to see you back!

fret17 · Post by **fret17** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:31 am

Hi Geo....I thought the song was great ...The vocal tonality is really radio friendly I think....I listened to more on your page and really enjoy your style .....I wanted to hear "The Ballad of King Kong"...but it played "All she said was maybe"...good luck with your music

Casey H · Post by **Casey H** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:11 am

SWD wrote:Ok Casey I could kiss you!!

I'll pass on that.

Casey

All she said was Maybe... New Mix & Version!!

All she said was Maybe... New Mix & Version!!

Re: All she said was Maybe... Pop Rocks

Re: All she said was Maybe... Pop Rocks

Re: All she said was Maybe... Pop Rocks

Re: All she said was Maybe... Pop Rocks

Re: All she said was Maybe... Pop Rocks

Re: All she said was Maybe... New Mix & Version!!

Re: All she said was Maybe... New Mix & Version!!

Re: All she said was Maybe... New Mix & Version!!

Re: All she said was Maybe... New Mix & Version!!

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