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It is currently Sun May 20, 2012 10:40 pm
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[ 5 posts ] |
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cwolf
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2011 1:23 pm Posts: 1 Location: Spain
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 Only Eyes For You
Hi, I am new here and search for a music composer to collaborate with. Write German and/or English lyrics and vice versa to melodies. Write nearly all genre but I prefer Blues, Pop, Country and Jazz.
Her is one of my lyrics, written for Radio market (3-4 minutes). If there is anybody interested in, send me a email.
Only Eyes For You Copyright 2011 by Carlos Wolf 1. Verse Pack your bags, if you want to, I’ll be happy when you are gone. Take your staff, please bail out, I hope you will never return. Don’t forget our pictures, I’m tired, won’t view them again. When you leave, shut the front door. I’ll be lucky be here alone. Chorus What a lie! ‘Cause I have only eyes for you Know my head is spinning all for you Feel my heart it is crying for you, dear love It’s awful true that I can’t live without you. 2. Verse Don’t come back, when you’ve left me, I don’t miss you, when you’re away. Don’t send me your regards, I’ll forget you fully this day. Slip no notes under my door, Wouldn’t read one, just throw them away. Do not call, don’t seek me I won’t be lonely very long.
Repeat Chorus Repeat Chorus
Don’t leave me. Please stay.
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| Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:05 pm |
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Kelil
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 6:54 am Posts: 649
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 Re: Only Eyes For You
No the lyrics and rhymes and structure is all over the shop. It's cliched and lyrically it's like something the beatles might have started out with but it wont fly in the modern pop era.
Have a listen to Devendra banharts Lyrics and the Fleet foxes. their lyrics are deep.
If it's fast pop/rock you wanna write that is not as deep as the said bands/artists try and listening to Oasis/Noel Gallagher and Paul Weller from the Jam.
Better yet. seeing as you write lyrics but dont compose music. Read them instead. This way you get to read them OUT of the context of the music they are put in. Read how they structure it. Then listen to how it is structured and lyrically fits within the context of the melody line they have created.
Best of Luck.
_________________ http://www.taxi.com/stephenmcelligott http://www.myspace.com/stephenmcelligottmusic Stephen on Jango radio: http://www.jango.com/music/Stephen+Mc+Elligott
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| Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:40 pm |
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inga
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:13 pm Posts: 16
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 Re: Only Eyes For You
-suggest change to-
Pack your bags, if you want to, -pack your bags if you want-
I’ll be happy when you are gone. -i'll be happier when you're gone-
Take your staff, please bail out, -staff ? do you mean "stuff " instead? -
I hope you will never return. -hope you never return-
Don’t forget our pictures, -yes take the photos-
I’m tired, won’t view them again. - i wont be viewing them again-
When you leave, shut the front door. -shut front door behind you-
I’ll be lucky be here alone. - i'll be luckier now, without you -
_________________ Forged Signature X.
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| Wed May 02, 2012 11:53 am |
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inga
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:13 pm Posts: 16
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 Re: Only Eyes For You
I’ll be happy when you are gone. - i'll be happier you're gone -
_________________ Forged Signature X.
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| Sun May 06, 2012 8:43 pm |
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inga
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:13 pm Posts: 16
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 Re: Only Eyes For You
When you leave, shut the front door. -shut door behind you-
_________________ Forged Signature X.
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| Tue May 08, 2012 3:52 pm |
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