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Thought I'd bring this up one last time in case anyone was interested in hearing the full band demo. The publisher was very happy with this one!

Thanks, Buc




Here's a new one called "This One's Gunna Hurt", that I'm having produced by JL Productions. It's a rough, quick mix of an acoustic/vocal demo. I like it but I'm very close to the song. I'm afraid it may be too traditional for todays market. Personally I love writing songs like this but they don't seem to be in high demand these days. Does the story line work ok? Thanks.

Buc


http://www.soundclick.com/bucwilliams



This One's Gunna Hurt Mark "Buc" Williams (ASCAP)2013

(V1)
Six years old in the backyard Maple tree
Foot slipped off a branch fell and skinned my knee
Mamma took peroxide as she wiped off the dirt
She said son, this one's gunna hurt

(Chorus)
It was the first time I ever felt that kind of pain
Knew I never wanted to hurt that way again
She put her arms round me, gave me a warm embrace
Teardrops I was fightin' back came rollin' down my face
Said I'm sorry baby, dried my eyes with her shirt
But son, this one's gunna hurt

(V2)
Ten years later at the corner Dairy Queen
Went to meet the girl I loved, Charlene
Saw her at our table kissin' my best friend Kurt
I thought man, this ones gunna hurt

(Chorus)
It was the first time I ever felt that kind of pain
Knew I never wanted to hurt that way again
Char put her arms round me, gave me a warm embrace
Teardrops I was fightin' back came rollin' down my face
Said I'm sorry baby, dried my eyes with her shirt
But hun, this one's gunna hurt

(Bridge)
At times the world can seem so cold and cruel
But often neath the hurt lies a hidden jewel

(V3)
One day as I was walkin' in the park
Bumped into a girl that stole my heart
We got married in a little country church
Nine months later she was givin birth

(Chorus)
It was the first time she ever felt that kind of pain
Knew she never wanted to hurt that way again
I put my arms round her, gave her a warm embrace
Teardrops she was fightin' back came rollin' down her face
They handed her our baby, her tears turned to a smirk
Said son, life is worth the hurt
Yes my son, life is worth the hurt

Hey Buc,
Nice tune! Yeah I think the story works well, but I think you're right about it being traditional rather than current.
But hey, there must be a place for this kind of thing out there somewhere.
I love the production- the double acoustic shimmers!
Cheers! -Rob

Hey Buc,

I really like the song.

I think the story is great except for 2 small things .. I'm not sure I buy Charlene at 16 putting her arms around you, giving you words of wisdom and you standing there taking it .. all right after she's kissing your best friend .. not many 16 year olds are that wise/sensitive .. imo.

You might be able to make the bridge and v3 tie together better .. what if in v3 it's not just 'one day' that he is walking in the park, but it's right after Charlene dumps him, the same day (maybe he is 25, not 16) .. then underneath the hurt of the Charlene betrayal he finds the new girl (hidden jewel). Or something like that.

hth .. 2 cents

Dean

Thanks for the listen Rob and Dean. I did think about the scenario you mentioned Dean, but I was afraid I'd lose the growing up thing. Basically I pictured Char giving him a hug and saying she was sorry, not really offering any words of wisdom. I agree not to many 16 yr old's would do that..lol I decided to leave the age open when he meets Miss Right. Originally I had said 5 years later or ten years later, but decided it wasn't as important, just older. I really appreciate the feedback.

Buc

The vocal and melody work really well. Couple out of the box thoughts adding to the others - perhaps if you re-title to "hurt" it gives your more flex in sharpening the verses OR maybe you let go of the growing up thing and tell little stories that add up to the chorus and current title - with you as the narrator.

Really nice song and hook overall.

Andy

bucyboy wrote:Thanks for the listen Rob and Dean. I did think about the scenario you mentioned Dean, but I was afraid I'd lose the growing up thing. Basically I pictured Char giving him a hug and saying she was sorry, not really offering any words of wisdom. I agree not to many 16 yr old's would do that..lol I decided to leave the age open when he meets Miss Right. Originally I had said 5 years later or ten years later, but decided it wasn't as important, just older. I really appreciate the feedback.

Buc

I might not have made my point clear enough on verse3. Main point was to tie it in better to the bridge by making it not just 'one day I was walking in the park' .. but making it so you were walking in the park because you were hurting for some reason .. walking to try and figure out the hurt or get away from it .. idk, something like 'another failed romance, another long walk'

Hey Buc
I had the same reaction Dean did to the part about Charlene kissing his best friend and then comforting him. Didn't seem realistic to me... Good song... Best of luck with it!

Casey

Thanks Dean and Casey. I'll have to give it some more thought and see if anything else comes to mind. A publisher in Nashville is listening to it tomorrow and is going to give me his thoughts on it too. It'll be interesting if the same part bothers him as well.

Thanks a lot for the listen and feedback!

Buc

Just got the full demo back and thought I'd post it if anyone's interested. Thanks!

Buc

Top notch Buc, sounds great! Good luck with the cut, hope you nail it.

eo