Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

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NoizeeBhoy
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Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by NoizeeBhoy » Sun Oct 20, 2019 2:00 pm

Hey peeps,
having been messing around with vocaloids and some Audacity I've finally 'written' my first song - Topline, harmonies, laid down some very simple chords, matching bass and bare bones drums. I'm no producer or songwriter so the very basic track reflects the limitations of whatever little ability I have. The song has been in my head for quite a while but t took me a long (really loooooooooong!) time to get it out as a 'song' even in this basic form.Ideally it'd be a dark pop number that is kinda a cross between Taylor Swift 1989/Bebe Rexha's darker stuff/Billie Eilish. Clearly I can't produce anything near this so I'm looking to here from anyone who fancies a challenge in trying to polish a very rough diamond (or maybe even polish a turd, I dunno!). I tried to focus on melody and lyrics but needed some sort of song structure (chords, bass etc) to get a proper song 'feel' to it. Nothing in any of this laid in stone so happy to discuss and tweak with any potential co-writer(s). Looking to collab on co-write basis NOT work for hire/payment.

The track is here but be warned it is little more than noise pollution at the moment.....:
Last edited by NoizeeBhoy on Sun Oct 27, 2019 2:11 pm, edited 6 times in total.

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funsongs
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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by funsongs » Sun Oct 20, 2019 2:31 pm

That link didn't work for me.
Wanna try it again?
Do you know how to post it "in between" the brackets, using the little Souncloud icon right above here at the right end of the toolbar line?
That makes the track appear right in your post.
Good luck.
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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by Rockinpop » Sun Oct 20, 2019 4:11 pm

I too had trouble opening the link. Let us know if you make any changes on the link.

Good Luck,
Ron Svoboda

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by NoizeeBhoy » Mon Oct 21, 2019 10:15 am

Hi guys, thanks for flagging the broken link up - dunno what went wrong with it. Maybe it was cos the setting was as 'private'? Hopefully it works now,.

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by NoizeeBhoy » Mon Oct 21, 2019 1:37 pm

The Asian touch is probably the harps - it wasn't really intentional other than I used Crystal harp for main vocal top line and an orchestral harp (I Think) for harmonies. They do add a bit of interest now you mention it and kinda keep with a darkish vibe so maybe I find a way to incorporate them as a pluck into the song!

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by Rockinpop » Sat Oct 26, 2019 12:50 pm

The link is working fine now.
I too heard clipping and thought of an oriental style. The Taylor Swift reference was hard for me to see. Was the melody in the song there for someone to write lyrics in it's place? This style is so different than what I would typically work on, but I also agree with trying a different melody instrument, and keep it lower so one could feel the rest of the song the way you intend it to be.
Just my thoughts and I wish you the best with it.
Ron Svoboda

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by NoizeeBhoy » Sun Oct 27, 2019 2:16 pm

Very helpful feedback guys, thanks for it. I've changed the topline from the Crystal harp to a clarinet layered with marimba as suggested. I think there's more clarity to it now and it's been lowered in the mix too. I think I managed to apply a high pass filter to lessen the clipping and muddiness. I think it's easier to hear the melody and what lies underneath now. Odd how even these minor and subtle changes can have a noticeable impact, though it's still very much in that grey area overlap between noise pollution and work-in-progress....

There might indeed be a very faint sparkle in here -if people squint long and hard enough I guess!

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by tresero » Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:44 pm

Is this supposed to be instrumental? If not, no vocalist would ever sing that melody. It's way too stiff. The whole track is very stiff, (I get it, it's midi pop), but it has no groove. There are definitely parts of it that could work somewhere else, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to learning.

I don't want to sound harsh, but pretending this is a great track that just needs some help, is not going to help you. You can't expect your first foray into music to be "the one" even though you love it. Let it go. Work on something new. Maybe come back to it. But seriously, move on. You learned from it. Let it be that.

Think about the melody. Make it singable.

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by NoizeeBhoy » Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:50 am

No arguments from me. Frank feedback is what is needed. As stated in the original post, there's no point wasting time polishing a turd and thinking it's a rough diamond. And yep, the track is rough AF and it doesn't take a genius to figure out it is midi programmed - and at that, by someone with very limited know-how or ability. The purpose of posting such a rough-and-ready monstrosity was to see if anyone with ability could see something (or anything!) salvageable that could be re-worked. I was never likely to, nor did I believe that I had, write 'the one' off the bat. Some time away from it and approached with fresh eyes/ears is a wise approach - maybe there's something that can be rescued from the wreckage but even if not the learning curve was worthwhile.

I'm keen to improve as I go forward so on that note I'm wondering if you could please elaborate on what you mean by the melody (which yes, is meant to be a vocal) is 'stiff'? I get the track feeling stiff without groove but I'm not so sure I know what you mean in terms of the vocal melody.

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Re: Anyone fancy trying to polish a very rough diamond?

Post by tresero » Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:16 am

NoizeeBhoy wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:50 am
No arguments from me. Frank feedback is what is needed. As stated in the original post, there's no point wasting time polishing a turd and thinking it's a rough diamond. And yep, the track is rough AF and it doesn't take a genius to figure out it is midi programmed - and at that, by someone with very limited know-how or ability. The purpose of posting such a rough-and-ready monstrosity was to see if anyone with ability could see something (or anything!) salvageable that could be re-worked. I was never likely to, nor did I believe that I had, write 'the one' off the bat. Some time away from it and approached with fresh eyes/ears is a wise approach - maybe there's something that can be rescued from the wreckage but even if not the learning curve was worthwhile.

I'm keen to improve as I go forward so on that note I'm wondering if you could please elaborate on what you mean by the melody (which yes, is meant to be a vocal) is 'stiff'? I get the track feeling stiff without groove but I'm not so sure I know what you mean in terms of the vocal melody.
I'll be in my studio later this morning and I'll give it a shot to see what I can hear on good speakers. There are always good parts, my main point was how much time do you want to spend when you could write something new.

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