Bad Kid (from one punk to another)

[dada]

Hope I'm not bombarfing you folks for listens, and I only post things I think have some listenibility (is that a word?)... This is one of those where the thoughts kept coming on how to construct it... It's pretty close to complete, but have gotten a little wore out with and wanted some opinions... Also, this about the end of my vocal range and I'm curious to know if it hurts you as much as it hurt me trying to sing it... The tune is called "Bad Kid" and a little on the cutesy side, but a nice change for me... Probably one of my better mixes.... the ears are starting to become tuned for more clarity... (I think) Thanks for all your help now and in the future, Dave The Davewave http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemus ... did=189280

[gitarrero]

i think I miss a real hook - theres a instrumental brigde between vers 1 and 2 - and than some other parts appear - I simply think for a cool punkrock-track you should structure the arrangement more......ah, that is the hook "iiiii'm not really such a bad kid.." - ok, but the instrumentation is quite on a low dynamic - hey, the chorus is the top of the song, pump it up hope that helps!cheers,martin

[dada]

Martin,Thanks for taking a listen... the chorus section builds and actually alters chord progression in the build section... Maybe I have a hook without the barb? Perhaps lengthing the first chorus section some... I have a lot of ideas to make this stronger, but am wondering about what I thought was the hook now...Thanks,DaveThe Davewavehttp://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=189280

[gschmitt]

hey man! the tune's hook feels pretty straight for me. i agree it's not the strongest thing in the world, but for this genre, it could totally fly. if i could reach a bit, the only thing i'd like to hear is a bit more dynamics - since it's all pretty much the same level throughout. anyway, good work

[dada]

Gschmitt,I hear what you're saying... I actually have another verse that is a "now I'm all grown up" type of thing that I was going to introduce with a slower feel, but again, got burnt on the thing after a few days of tinkering... That and maybe use the bridge only once with vocal and an improvisation over the second was what I had in mind... Oh well, I'll get back to it at some point.. not a style I typically wander into, although it taught me a few things on my recording techniques...Thanks for listening and providing your insight...DaveThe Davewavehttp://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=189280