Broken Wings of a fallen Angel

[djemboy2]

i have just posted the music to broken wings of a fallen angel, it is in its very basic form at the moment, needs a lot of work but i just wanted to get the mood of the song.its at www.betarecords.com/djemboy2

[53mph]

Hi Djemboy.My first impessions are that you're going for an Air feel to this track.For me Air walk the fine line between the modern age and the 80's and your song is tipping perhaps a bit too heavily on the 80's for my tastes. I think it's probably that unlenting snare (or whip) cracking across my brain whilst I listen to this and the unvaried drum track (very Midge Ure 80's).I'd think about varying that a bit because it starts to get really annoying.Mid way through the song all the music goes and the listener is left with just this drum track. Is that intentional? Because it's not doing the song any favours. It doesn't really work as a breakdown as it's too long and doesn't really differentiate itself from the main drum beat in any way.You said this was a rough idea so I'll try to pick up on the positives now.The synth choir works nicely and the chords are pleasent but it's not really a finished enough piece to give any strong opinion on.I suggest listening to the way Air put their music together, especially the way they let the organic instruments breath and the way they vary the different sections.I've just listened to the other tune....it has lyrics. Is Broken Wing suppossed to have lyrics?