Calling a chorus a chorus

[edteja]

Okay we talked about this subject in abstract terms before folks, but I need some help. I wrote a tune and yesterday a friend helped me massage it a bit before cutting a new demo (I did ne before but didn't like it). So we only put down a rhythm and vocal track, but that ain't the problem. The problem is very simply what to call some of the components of the song. Let me say that the lyric works (for me), it is just a question of what to tpe ahead of each "chunk."Here is the lyric (I'll explain my A, A2 and B marking at) the endThe Road Calls MeAWhen younger, called myself a gypsyA lovely name for a ramblin' boy.As I grew older, my trips grew bolderCalled myself a travelin' man.BThat traveling life's not for everyoneLost many friends along the wayBut moving on always suited meMaybe I just never learned how to stayA2The road calls me, I can hear it.Singing so sweetly to me.The road calls me, I can feel itTugging at my bones they want to be free.BBut after you turn fiftyGypsy lacks that romantic ringThey call a man a drifterWhen he gets older and still wanderingAWhen I came back to where I was bornThe only place I call home these daysThe greeting I got, so hearfelt and warmPeople asked how I could stay away.BI like it here in this old placeThough it changed while I was awyLots to love in my home landBut that don't mean I'll stay.AAll said and done, guess I am a gypsyA rambler, wanderer and drifter tooPick any old label, it can't hurt me.Traveling is just what I do.BThat traveling life's not for everyoneLost many friends along the wayBut moving on always suited meMaybe I just never learned how to stayA2The road calls me, I can hear it.Singing so sweetly to me.The road calls me, I can feel itTugging at my bones they want to be free.The road calls me.Okay the A and A2 parts are musically similar and the B part is different. Given the music alone, you'd think that B was a chorus, and the As verses. But the title of the song is in A2 (and it feels right there, hence the dilemma. A is a verse, no worries. But B is sort of another set of verses with a repetition. And A2 could be a bridge, except it has the title and is musically more like a verse. SIGH.So I need some kind of insight, guidance to a schema that would look good to screeners (cause like I said I think the song works no matter what I call the parts.). Any takers? Please.

[og]

Ed-I would call A2 the chorus--mainly because that's what the screeners will tell you. B, being musically different, would be a bridge. Again, this is probably what the screeners will say, because it fits the 'formula'. Good luck, man! By the way, I like those nice, sparse, to-the-point lyrics. I don't always achieve that--ramble on, even.

[edteja]

Thanks og, that was sorta my guess. It nearly fits. Ramble is okay at times too. Sometimes the sparse lyrics drift on overr into cryptic

[matto]

Hi Ed,please don't take this the wrong way, but from looking at this lyric and pondering the question you pose, I get the impression that this is not a song that would work well in the commercial market place because of (in no particular order):1) the lyrical theme2) the sheer length of it3) the fact that the song doesn't adhere to an established commercial song formIn my experience, whenever you have to ask yourself (or others) "where is the chorus", it is because there IS no chorus that's strong enough to work in the commercial market.The bad news about this is that this song is very unlikely to ever be recorded by a commercial artist or become a hit. The good news is that if you're not aiming at the commercial market, you don't really have to worry about what to call what, just as long as the song "works" as it is.matto

[og]

Quick, Ed put your fingers in your ears and say YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

[edteja]

I understand (and appreciate) what you are saying Matto. Thanks for chipping in. Usually write choruses into my songs without even thinking about it (in the sense of "insert chorus here")-- they just seem to fit in nicely and do their job. In this case it didn't. But that isn't even the weird part. The weird part is that this is a country song and it seems to work. As a sanity check I played it for some country fanatics who adore it (and they hate much of my stuff, so they aren't trying to stroke me). And it runs 3:40, which should be only marginally long in today's market. Anyway, the point is that while I agree with you entirely in theory I am scratching my head with this one. I could force the hook into the place that "should" be the chorus. In fact I tried it and it sucks. This one flows. So I was turning it around and trying to get help forcing the labels. That hasn't worked all that well either. Sigh.And I have no problem abandoning my bad songs (I've written my share), but this one is (in my opinion) pretty good but, well, different. That might kill it dead. I dunno. I figure on finishing the demo and sending it around to see what happens. Maybe the critiques will help me see it from a new direction. I am open to doing it over if it looks necessary (or promising). Since we will do it in my studio it will be a learning experience at worst. Who knows? But I got the bass track back this afternoon, and the singer is coming over later next week to redo the redoing of his vocal (he didn't like what he did with it), and on we go. Or not.But thanks for the input. I will have to consider myself duly warned.

[matto]

Quote:And I have no problem abandoning my bad songs (I've written my share), but this one is (in my opinion) pretty good but, well, different. That might kill it dead. I dunno. Please note that I never said it was bad. The commercial potential of a song and its intrinsic value can be two entirely different things. There are many songs I would consider great that would not stand a chance in todays commercial marketplace.I'm talking in purely commercial terms here, and I think (hope) you understand that. For example: when I try to think which of today's country stars would sing a lyric like this...I come up blank. In fact the lyric doesn't strike me as a country lyric at all...folk maybe...it lacks that visceral imagery that almost all lyrics on country radio today have.Anyway it's just honest feedback...you can always cover your ears and yell YAYAYA ...btw I'd love to hear the music to this...so let us know when the demo's done.

[edteja]

Thanks Matto. I did understand where you were coming from. I'll post the demo somewhere when it is finished so you can hear it. And you might be exactly right--that is isn't commercial. As my track record indicates I am not the best judge of that particular quality, but this one gets in my bones.But then I have trouble imagine any human singing: "My give a damn's busted.." much less making a hit out of it, so what do I know?

[og]

Or "Too much of a good thing is a good thing..." I'm so sick of hearing "That's a good thing" I could puke.YAYAYAYA aside, I understand and agree with you, Matto, but I'm in much the same boat as Ed. I write what I feel, and it doesn't often fit a pigeon hole.

[edteja]

I have a demo up. Matto, or anyone else who would like to comment, please do. The song is at:http://www.broadjam.com/artists/artisti ... stID=27565