Could I please get some SINGER/SONGWRITER feedback?

[BrentI]

Hey everyone! I was wondering if I could get some feedback on this song for the following listing. I've only really written cues, so I'm not sure about writing songs for sync. I did very little editing/mixing for this recording, and I definitely plan to re-track the guitar and vocals. But I wanted to see if this was on the right track. Is the vibe right? What about the lyrics? Should I take a different approach for the vocal delivery? I appreciate all the help I can get.

The Rest Of This Life - https://www.taxi.com/members/KWQ2l_pFSJ ... life-demo-

Lyrics:

The words we spoke linger in the air like smoke after a fire
Through hazy eyes, I stare in disbelief, ashamed of what I've done

We pass the blame, but never know who's wrong
The seasons change, and we get swept along
It's not too late to make up for lost time
Even if it takes forever, or just the rest of this life

Retrace the steps, take me to a place where life was once so simple
I need to know somewhere deep inside you are there with me

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Lots of ORIGINAL, MODERN SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS with Male or Female Vocals are needed by a very active and fast-growing Music Licensing Company that provides music for big Feature Films and TV Series.

This company (owned by industry veterans) is looking for Songs that could fit in the general stylistic ballpark of the following references:

"Somebody Else" by Tom Odell - https://youtu.be/5oQgb0oAnwc?si=lkHl4o9kSuFBEzph

"Comedy & Tragedy" by Catie Turner - https://youtu.be/uaDs53x1H9Q?si=gsE3_dJ4rXpYDWeL

"The Real Thing" by Ron Pope - https://youtu.be/Ge2bweTFajA?si=JMQCnXsR5ZCsgFj0

Please send in current Singer/Songwriter Songs with a hefty dose of emotion and sentimentality that could work well for sync placements in TV and Film! Your submissions should have catchy, moving melodies, great musicianship, memorable choruses, and warm, well-crafted lyrics. Singer/Songwriter-style instrumentation with minimal arrangements will work best (acoustic guitar/piano). Please be sure that any virtual instruments or samples you use are high-quality and not dated-sounding. Vulnerable, well-performed Male or Female vocals are both of interest to this client.

[Casey H]

Very pretty!!
I don't think it's quite a fit for this listing in that it doesn't sound that contemporary and may not have a strong enough chorus. Your voice reminds me of Five For Fighting.

If it were my song, I'd re-write the lyrics with the target being wedding (and other love, romance scenes like that). Your lyrics are very nice but they don't have a completely positive feel (e.g. words like "ashamed", "blame", etc.) I'd go all the way with professing your love, commitment, being there forever, etc.

I know it's not a real mix but your vocal seems to strain in the key. Maybe lower it some? Or get someone else to sing it. The lead vocal is one of the most important factors in getting Film/TV songs placed. Check for a PM.

Best,
Casey

[BrentI]

Very pretty!!
I don't think it's quite a fit for this listing in that it doesn't sound that contemporary and may not have a strong enough chorus. Your voice reminds me of Five For Fighting.

If it were my song, I'd re-write the lyrics with the target being wedding (and other love, romance scenes like that). Your lyrics are very nice but they don't have a completely positive feel (e.g. words like "ashamed", "blame", etc.) I'd go all the way with professing your love, commitment, being there forever, etc.

I know it's not a real mix but your vocal seems to strain in the key. Maybe lower it some? Or get someone else to sing it. The lead vocal is one of the most important factors in getting Film/TV songs placed. Check for a PM.

Best,
Casey

Thank you for your insight Casey! I appreciate you taking the time to listen.

Responded!

[Casey H]

Hey Brent
I didn't get a PM or email from you.

Casey