Creep (draft)

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cosmicdolphin
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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by cosmicdolphin » Tue Sep 29, 2020 1:35 am

Decent idea, I think you came up with a good concept Zaychi but musically it's not sophisticated enough to be forwarded IMHO...it sounds like a few orchestral loops thrown together and not a thought out well crafted arrangement.

The vocals are a definite improvement over previous songs I have heard, I can tell what you're singing and that it's been tuned although I don't think the style has the right aesthetic - It's very in your face when I think it needs to start out very held back. i.e. like on this cover song where it builds over the course of it : https://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4

Mix is not in balance the vocals are much further forward than the music which makes it feel like I'm being shouted at. You need to pull the vocals down and bed them into the sonic landscape.

Mark

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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by cosmicdolphin » Tue Sep 29, 2020 7:16 am

CTWF wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 6:53 am
she did not use the words "sonic landscape". :)
Amateur !

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Zaychi
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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by Zaychi » Tue Sep 29, 2020 10:08 am

Thanks guys... I'll look into these issues tonight.

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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by jefflaplante » Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:41 am

I’ve listened a few times and to each of the revisions. Definitely improving each time.
One thing that sticks out at me that you should consider re-recording is the line “what the hell am I doing here”. The way you pronounce it sounds like your saying something else... like “water here my doing here”.
I keep waiting for someone else to point that out. Maybe it’s just the way my ears are hearing it, but it’s jarring, just because it’s such an iconic and recognizable song and any lyrical change will cause a head turn.

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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by cosmicdolphin » Wed Sep 30, 2020 12:59 pm

jefflaplante wrote:
Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:41 am
I keep waiting for someone else to point that out.
And I was waiting to see if anyone else had noticed "I wish I was special " is actually all the wrong notes

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Zaychi
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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by Zaychi » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:27 pm

Thanks again for your comments. Unfortunately, I won't be able to re-record the entire vocal because the deadline is tomorrow, and re-recording individual phrases will certainly create audible style/mood/sound changes in the overall flow of the vocal.

Changing the notes of the first "I wish you were special" was a conscious choice, the takes I did on the higher vocal didn't have the right punch for me when listening them back.

The pronunciation of the "hell am I doing here" line hadn't quite hit my ears in that way, but yeah I guess you could hear it that way and maybe I should have retaken it... but as I said, too late now.

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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by Zaychi » Thu Oct 01, 2020 12:11 pm

Just submitted, final version is here:


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Re: Creep (draft)

Post by Zaychi » Sun Oct 11, 2020 10:23 am

Heh, it was returned... apart from being off-target (not "dark epic" enough, ok), the box for "intro too long" was also checked which is kind of weird because the song kicks off with the vocal.

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