Critique my songs please

[shellsings]

Hey There

I am new to the forum, thought I would start getting some critiques from you guys..

Interested in what you think of my songs:

Skinny Bitch
and
Another Night

http://www.myspace.com/michellelockey

lemme know! (sorry of the url is not right, the preview didn't look like it turned it into a link, anyway I am on myspace!, thx)

-Shell

[2lane]

Hey Michelle
These are good songs. Well produced and fun to listen to. Skinny Bitch had me tapping my feet and Another Night was
mellow and cool. Really enjoyed the listen. Good luck on what you pitch to!
Welcome to the forum also.
Steve

[ottlukk]

Shell:
liked both of them, but skinny bitch was really fun to listen to. Any chance you could post the lyrics, it makes it easier to follow and critique.
Welcome to the forums!
Ott

[Kolstad]

Hey there Michelle,

Welcome to the Taxi world!

Some quick comments: I liked both of them, but "Skinny Bitch" really stands out to me. It's catchy, well produced, subject matter holds it's own, and it ROCKS! Sounds like a 'quirky' type of pop hit to me! "Another Night" also had a very nice mellow vibe (I love that), but I missed more in the arrangement to keep me interested all throughout the song. I tended to drift a little while listening to it.

If you set the post up with some goals or target listings for the songs, it's a little ez'ier to give specific feedback, if that's what you need.

Im looking forward to hear more of your stuff!

[shellsings]

thanks Everyone

as far as critique goals I guess I am looking for

does the song make sense, give a good message
Did you like the arrangement?
The beat?
The lead vocal?
What might you change?

does that help? Do people usually attach lyrics here? I could do that for Skinny Bitch, but my producer gets a bit leary about that. Its copyrighted though, so shouldn't be any issue ,
Thanks for your critiques! Its hard to judge your own song when you have heard it over and over and over again..

[1.7]

Interested in what you think of my songs:

Skinny Bitch
and
Another Night

Shania Twain could do SB. You should consider a second/country fried mix and submit for a country girl with attitude.

I also liked Another Night. You have a good voice. My critique is that the current drum beat (when it kicks in) is a bit heavy for such a thoughtful song.

[DorothyWallace]

Hi Michelle,

I enjoyed listening to your songs. They're really good. What are you planning to do with them. Are you pursuing a career as an artist? Do you want to send them to other artists? Film/TV?

Dorothy

[shellsings]

Hey Dorothy and others

right now I am planning to pitch to other artists. Would like to do some film and TV, there are some great shows for SB. like Drop Dead Diva, but if I do that do you think I need a different vocalist? Make it more edgy?

I like the countriyfied take, I kinda do it like that acoustically when I play out. I attached the SB lyrics here for you to see.

I also just posted my new song "One Child" take a listen on myspace. I want to use this one to help raise money for orphans and kids in need.. any ideas??

http://www.myspace.com/michellelockey

Thanks!

[ottlukk]

Michelle;
I loved "One Child", very pretty. UNESCO or a similar organization using this song could enhance you financial situation greatly (excuse the gratuitous greed comment). It was very well done.
But, here's what you should do, immediately: start a new thread asking for comments on this song. Do NOT ask for comments on a new song on a thread that's even a few days old, especially if it has asked for comments on another song. Most people will not go back and look at a thread a second time, so they won't even know you've requested feedback on a new song. This is a really nice song, start a new thread so you get the feedback you want.
Ott
p.s. and blame it on me if you want.

[gongchime]

One Child is awesome and perfect for a Christian listing. I have a nitpicky thing about melodic cadences at the ends of antecedent and consequent phrases in the verses not being congruent but I'll save that for another time. Overall a most professional effort. Look out Amy Grant.