Critique please..
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Critique please..
Here's a song I wrote about two years ago. It's the story of an imaginary meeting with an old school gangster in a London pub one night. I've got a tune for it and will get it recorded when funds allow! Love to know what you guys and girls think...
MISSING IN ACTON
1.
He had the look of an old Mod about him
From his "Royals" to his button-down shirt
But I saw in his eyes
As he sank pints of “Pride”
An old man no stranger to hurt
So I struck up a long conversation
About music and football and life
His hero was Weller
His best friend the feller
Who last year ran off with his wife
Chorus
Incognito and missing in Acton
On the ropes, on the razz, on the run
From the coppers, the villains, the taxmen
My advice; keep your head down old son
2.
His Ma was a Camberwell beauty
His father, the last stevedore
And the streets of his birth
Was the Bermondsey turf
He never would see anymore
So I called for two double Napoleons
And we drank to the good days gone by
As the closing bell rang
He stood up and he sang
“Danny Boy” with a tear in his eye
Chorus
Incognito and missing in Acton
On the ropes, on the razz, on the run
From the coppers, the villains, the taxmen
My advice; keep your head down old son
Post Chorus
"Il flagrante delicto" in Acton
Under stress, under dressed, underdone
It was this or his sister’s in Clacton
His advice; get a life my old son
© Martin Manley
MISSING IN ACTON
1.
He had the look of an old Mod about him
From his "Royals" to his button-down shirt
But I saw in his eyes
As he sank pints of “Pride”
An old man no stranger to hurt
So I struck up a long conversation
About music and football and life
His hero was Weller
His best friend the feller
Who last year ran off with his wife
Chorus
Incognito and missing in Acton
On the ropes, on the razz, on the run
From the coppers, the villains, the taxmen
My advice; keep your head down old son
2.
His Ma was a Camberwell beauty
His father, the last stevedore
And the streets of his birth
Was the Bermondsey turf
He never would see anymore
So I called for two double Napoleons
And we drank to the good days gone by
As the closing bell rang
He stood up and he sang
“Danny Boy” with a tear in his eye
Chorus
Incognito and missing in Acton
On the ropes, on the razz, on the run
From the coppers, the villains, the taxmen
My advice; keep your head down old son
Post Chorus
"Il flagrante delicto" in Acton
Under stress, under dressed, underdone
It was this or his sister’s in Clacton
His advice; get a life my old son
© Martin Manley
- cosmicdolphin
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Re: Critique please..
If it's for Sync it'll never get placed because the lyrics are too specific..songs need to support the story..not be the story.
If it's not for sync then it sounds like a fun caper
If it's not for sync then it sounds like a fun caper
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Re: Critique please..
+1cosmicdolphin wrote: ↑Thu Dec 10, 2020 1:00 pmIf it's for Sync it'll never get placed because the lyrics are too specific..songs need to support the story..not be the story.
If it's not for sync then it sounds like a fun caper
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Re: Critique please..
MBantle wrote: ↑Thu Dec 10, 2020 2:36 pm+1 in terms of synccosmicdolphin wrote: ↑Thu Dec 10, 2020 1:00 pmIf it's for Sync it'll never get placed because the lyrics are too specific..songs need to support the story..not be the story.
If it's not for sync then it sounds like a fun caper
- AlanHall
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Re: Critique please..
It does sound like a fun story - but to us Yanks it might as well be all "mimsey borogroves" and such
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Re: Critique please..
Ah yes what a band'Mimsey Borogroves were, never did make it in the U.S. and now I know why...
Thanks for the crit Alan and Cosmic, it was never gonna be a sync track just a wander down Ian Dury street via Billy Bragg's house...
Thanks for the crit Alan and Cosmic, it was never gonna be a sync track just a wander down Ian Dury street via Billy Bragg's house...
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Re: Critique please..
What a blockhead he was, aye?
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Re: Critique please..
This is kind of ' English Americana'. Anybody willing to coin a phrase to describe it?
- cosmicdolphin
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Re: Critique please..
MockneySoadbehajoan wrote: ↑Mon Dec 21, 2020 8:50 amThis is kind of ' English Americana'. Anybody willing to coin a phrase to describe it?
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Re: Critique please..
I thought it was called 'skiffle'?
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