Did you see this listing...?
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- Zaychi
- Committed Musician
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:09 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Netherlands
- Contact:
Did you see this listing...?
A Bunch of MIDI-driven, quantized SUB-PAR SEVENTIES SONGS are needed by a bottom-notch, sleepy Music Library which never placed any songs in any relevant movies, TV, or commercials. They did manage to place a song on the "Poughkeepsie Today" TV Show on local television in 1993 though.
We didn't include references as we felt they could potentially be more misleading or limiting, than helpful.
Please submit boring, repetitive songs which don't have any cylinders to fire on. Quantized rythms, a mix drenched in reverb, obligate melodies and mediocre hooks are all requirements for this request. Stripped-down arrangements, as well as filled-out productions, could both work for this pitch, as long as you make sure that it doesn't sound as if any real people were playing. If you're planning on using any real instruments, they should sound as if they're cheap, dated samples, as nothing colorfull, lively, or exhibiting OBVIOUS musicianship will work for this request. Nasal, monotonous vocals which are completely out of tune could help you nail this request!
Lyrics should be a long string of names, places, brands, and vulgar bullshit.
Broadcast quality should be avoided at all cost. Garage or bedroom sound is needed.
This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal; but it is very unlikely that the songs they're looking for are licensed anywhere else anyway. Sync fees will not be split by the company. They will keep 100% of the publisher's share while you get 0% of the writer's share. All submissions will be sent directly to the client, no TAXI screener will be involved. Submissions must be recieved before Christmas and Easter are on the same day.
We didn't include references as we felt they could potentially be more misleading or limiting, than helpful.
Please submit boring, repetitive songs which don't have any cylinders to fire on. Quantized rythms, a mix drenched in reverb, obligate melodies and mediocre hooks are all requirements for this request. Stripped-down arrangements, as well as filled-out productions, could both work for this pitch, as long as you make sure that it doesn't sound as if any real people were playing. If you're planning on using any real instruments, they should sound as if they're cheap, dated samples, as nothing colorfull, lively, or exhibiting OBVIOUS musicianship will work for this request. Nasal, monotonous vocals which are completely out of tune could help you nail this request!
Lyrics should be a long string of names, places, brands, and vulgar bullshit.
Broadcast quality should be avoided at all cost. Garage or bedroom sound is needed.
This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal; but it is very unlikely that the songs they're looking for are licensed anywhere else anyway. Sync fees will not be split by the company. They will keep 100% of the publisher's share while you get 0% of the writer's share. All submissions will be sent directly to the client, no TAXI screener will be involved. Submissions must be recieved before Christmas and Easter are on the same day.
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- Impressive
- Posts: 499
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 1:12 pm
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Did you see this listing...?
So they are looking for stiff and obviously midi driven? If so, I will have to ask for an extension of the deadlineZaychi wrote: ↑Thu Feb 25, 2021 8:54 amA Bunch of MIDI-driven, quantized SUB-PAR SEVENTIES SONGS are needed by a bottom-notch, sleepy Music Library which never placed any songs in any relevant movies, TV, or commercials. They did manage to place a song on the "Poughkeepsie Today" TV Show on local television in 1993 though.
We didn't include references as we felt they could potentially be more misleading or limiting, than helpful.
Please submit boring, repetitive songs which don't have any cylinders to fire on. Quantized rythms, a mix drenched in reverb, obligate melodies and mediocre hooks are all requirements for this request. Stripped-down arrangements, as well as filled-out productions, could both work for this pitch, as long as you make sure that it doesn't sound as if any real people were playing. If you're planning on using any real instruments, they should sound as if they're cheap, dated samples, as nothing colorfull, lively, or exhibiting OBVIOUS musicianship will work for this request. Nasal, monotonous vocals which are completely out of tune could help you nail this request!
Lyrics should be a long string of names, places, brands, and vulgar bullshit.
Broadcast quality should be avoided at all cost. Garage or bedroom sound is needed.
This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal; but it is very unlikely that the songs they're looking for are licensed anywhere else anyway. Sync fees will not be split by the company. They will keep 100% of the publisher's share while you get 0% of the writer's share. All submissions will be sent directly to the client, no TAXI screener will be involved. Submissions must be recieved before Christmas and Easter are on the same day.
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- Committed Musician
- Posts: 998
- Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2016 11:20 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Nashville area
- Contact:
Re: Did you see this listing...?
Well done Zaychi!! I actually laughed out loud !!
John L Pearson
www.johnptunes.com
www.johnptunes.com
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- Impressive
- Posts: 343
- Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:32 am
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Did you see this listing...?
LMFAO!!!!!!
Dude this made me howl!
Dude this made me howl!
- cosmicdolphin
- Serious Musician
- Posts: 4473
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 1:46 pm
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
Re: Did you see this listing...?
Love it !
I think you will get a lot of submissions for this......seriously though, some home truths there. It should be a sticky somewhere.
Mark
Buy me coffee https://ko-fi.com/cosmicdolphin78382
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- Impressive
- Posts: 343
- Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:32 am
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Re: Did you see this listing...?
It would totally make a great Taxi T-shirt or coffee mug.
I don't know why, but when I read it, I heard it in the voice of George Carlin.
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