didn't want to hijack larry's thread!

[robbspencer]

hi guys
i was wondering if you guys think this is on the mark for this listing?
Hopeful-sounding ACOUSTIC GUITAR-BASED SINGER/SONGWRITER-STYLE INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed by a Non-Exclusive Publisher submitting directly to the Executive Producer of a Prime-Time, Broadcast Network TV Show for placements in transitional scenes. Give them Mid-Tempo Cues that could be found on the same playlist as: “I Lived” by OneRepublic “Ready to Run” by One Direction “Last Chance” by Honor By August Quoting the source: “These INSTRUMENTALS will be for transitions cutting in and out of scenes. During these scenes, they typically show aerial shots of the city that the show is based in, so having a soaring, optimistic, sunny, inspirational vibe without being too overly dramatic or bombastic would work best.” Please submit well-crafted Instrumental Cues that leave the audience with a feeling that “everything’s going to be all right.” Imagine the Cue you’d hear during a sweeping aerial shot of a cityscape at sunrise as the workday begins. A simple, optimistic sounding arpeggiated acoustic guitar and light drums that build to something that’s more anthemic would work perfectly for this pitch. Be sure your submissions have a singular, central melodic motif, while adding and subtracting varying instrumentation to keep your cues lively and interesting. Your submissions should be at least 2 minutes in length. Buttoned or stinger endings and easy “hit” or edit points are strongly suggested. Broadcast quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine).
https://soundcloud.com/robbspencer/up-b ... wn/s-lVSAH

also is the intro too long? anything else i can do to improve on it?
thanks for listening, much appreciated !!!
Robb Spencer

[johnlewitt]

Robb,

This starts out really nicely and hits a lot of the things they are looking for in the listing, which is always hard to do (or lucky for you if you had this lying around!).

Two things that jump out at me.

1) The drum sounds could be tweaked to be a little bit more natural. What are you using for drums? They need some more air and better tone - specifically the kick and the hi hat.

2) As the songs progresses, the arrangement gets a little more complicated and you fall out of time on a few bars. For this listing, I think you can scale back on some of the guitar noodling - it doesn't have to be this complex.

I hope that helps.

John

[andygabrys]

hey Rob,

keep in mind this is an opinion but I invite you to consider these ideas:

I think John nailed it for this kind of listing - simpler is better, solos should be left out in favor of solid melodic parts, rhythmically simpler is stronger.

Mix-wise: things don't quite seem in balance to me - the drums are present some places, and don't sound big enough in others. I think you mic'd the acoustic guitars right? or are they direct? there was a little pick attack sound that really was prominent. Micing the acoustics is always preferable but sometimes you need to fine tune the attack setting on your compression as well as do a little subtractive eq to make it sound big and full and not hear the pick too much.

here is what IMO you got right:

"A simple, optimistic sounding arpeggiated acoustic guitar"
"Your submissions should be at least 2 minutes in length"

here are the important parts of the listing that you may want to reconsider:

"Be sure your submissions have a singular, central melodic motif, while adding and subtracting varying instrumentation to keep your cues lively and interesting"

Whatever the song starts out with is the hook. Build that, double it with other sounds, break it down to that again. Resist the temptation to add more melodies and parts that don't actually copy or reinforce what has gone beforehand. If you think about it, adding all those extra new melodies might be using the material for 5 or 6 cues in one tune (only half joking, its true).

"Buttoned or stinger endings"
"easy “hit” or edit points are strongly suggested"

these two things are related - check this cue out: https://soundcloud.com/andy-gabrys-musi ... indie-folk at 0:34 and 1:33 there are "edit" points. Then check out the ending - bang to fade. I know this tune is not the same genre as the listing you are writing for, but its the ideas of structuring the cue I am trying to get across.

This is not absolute gospel as there are many things you can do with your cues to make them work, but these are edit points, and this is an ending that could be used to bring the viewer in or out from a commercial or a scene cut.

Sometimes you can add an extra quick hit after a hit and fade on the end of the tune. If the editor likes the tune, they can always chop off the last hit - like the following example. Or they might chop that quick hit ending and slide it up to end the cue at whatever time they want. It just lends extra flexibility to how the cue might be used.

https://soundcloud.com/andy-gabrys-musi ... ow/s-qrd1c

If you do go for the quick hit ending and no fade - clean it up to make sure its picture perfect. In your tune the delay on the electric kept ringing slightly and the first time I heard it it sounded a little unfinished.

Hope that helps (HTH)

[robbspencer]

John and andy...
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!
Words cannot express how much i appreciate you guys taking the time to give me your EXTREMELY solid advice and opinions.
This is why i joined taxi.
I will go back to this one and try to fix everything you guys pointed out.
Thank you thank you thank you.

[robbspencer]

Done, done and done
I changed the drums completely, i think the sound AND the groove ate better. I took out the guitar solo and
Made sure the melody was consistent all the way thru. I eq'ed the pick attack out of the guitar tracks and made a button ending.
I also made a nice little edit point with a drum roll between 2 sections... Easy breezy.
I also compressed the entire mix gently just to try and glue it all together a little better.
Thanks again guys. Can't tell you how much i love having awesome bouncing boards...

It's here if you'd like to hear it in it's new form
Let me know if you hear anything else that can be fixed that you hear...

http://soundcloud.com/robbspencer/up-be ... v2/s-4STUR

[andygabrys]

rob - nice, its closer IMO>

check your piece for rhythmic agreement - cymbal at 2:27 is way ahead of downbeat - etc.

Listing also denotes at least 2 mins - so you could actually edit your piece down now that it is 3 min long - letting things build and change so every 4 bars something is happening instead of waiting 8 bars or more for a change.

Some parts are still busy - bass fills in the last 3rd of piece. Edit points still have moving parts in the edits - drum fills, instrumental fills. That might be cool, it also might be great to have some edits where stuff really stops and holds for the bar with no drum fill.

Now play your piece back to back with the refs. Do you get the same feeling? the same build? if not - what happens in those refs? Kick drum patterns more driving? (1/4 note kicks?) Instrumental parts bigger / higher registers as song continues?

[funsongs]

I think your post title has the raw makings of a Country song.
You could either take it in a humorous, obscure route & story-line creation:
"The Hijack of Larry's Thread"... that leaves lots of possibilities.

OR;
change a word, and make it a true Cowboy song... about ranches and horse-sh** n stuff:
"The Hijack of Larry's Spread" into which you could weave a tapestry of puns and
bed-side innuendos! Like stealing another man's woman.

Just some straw & feed for thought.
Cheers,
Peter

[johnlewitt]

Robb,

It's much more on target. I'd take Andy's advice to heart and it will probably perfect then.

John

[robbspencer]

Well... I've tweaked this piece probably more than i've ever tweaked any before. But that was the old me. The new me realizes that changes are GOOD. Inspiration needs poking and prodding.
Andy, you are a gentleman and a scholar. I truly appreciate you taking your valuable time to help us newbies in a way that is selfless and giving. I believe in karma and good things are going your way!
Funsongs and johnlewitt, thank you guys so much too. The encouragement and comradery you guys give is priceless kudos and thanks for making the taxi forum such a fantastic place on the old interweb.

I made a ton of changes all (hopefully) in accordance with everybodies amazing advice.
Everything moves along in 4 measure increments now as opposed to 8.
I put two clean edit points to the best of my abilities.
I cleaned up the house and nixed a couple of tracks that seemed to fight the melody a little.
I brought the length of the song down to just over 2 minutes. Removed the bass interlude ( that happened to be my fav part of the piece, but i know andy was right about it killing the momentum. I'll keep it in my personal version lol)
I put the main melody line right up the middle with the logic that it should sit where the vocal would. I hope that was a good idea...???
I wouldn't blame you guys one bit if you didn't even listen to this track again but i'm posting it because after all the hard work you guys put into giving me advice, the least i could do is post the finished (hopefully!) version in case you guys do want to hear how it has progressed... http://soundcloud.com/robbspencer/up-be ... v5/s-erADm
Thank you all so much again!!!
Robb Spencer

[robbspencer]

And funsongs...
Thanks for helping me name my next country song