Different Points of You

[updnmusic]

Would like to know what people think of this song.http://www.taximusic.com/download/19442 ... nDifferent Points of YouThis is the way that we play todayTurn your mind into a starship driveJoin me on a journey through all space and all timeRead the akashic records of this history of lifeBaby when you speak the answers that I seekReveal themselves to be right in front of meWe’re all a part of you we’re just different points of viewBut when all is said and done all in all in oneAll is oneAll is one All is oneAll is oneOut of the darkness into the light of everlasting lifePhoenix of creation you embody deep divineHave no fear, the meaning’s clear, you are the chosen onedaughter of the sun; you are the daughter of the sun

[momof4]

hi! so IMHO, the lyrics on this are kind of vague and overly poetic...hard to understand what you're saying, BUT i will say i absolutely LOVE your title. i think it could be a great country song if you'd rewrite it, make that your hook, and tell al great story. just my two cents! erin

[iceman]

Hi Justin,The song start feels abrupt but judging by how it ends it appears this might be a quicky mixdown. (Could be a problem on my listening software, I read something about that somewhere) I noticed that after the chorus and the repeating 'All is one' you went to a simple whole note major chord before starting the head figure again. That was nice. Maybe start the song with that same chord and even hold it for a little longer than it's played in the middle. The verse lyrics are a bit too cosmic for my taste. But the chorus is wonderful...I love it!!! Possibly, try a harmony on the repeating 'All is one' . There are certainly a lot of tonal possibilities available. On the other hand, it sounds pretty cool with the single voice. Decisions, decisions. Overall, I liked the airy vibe and textures.Randy

[updnmusic]

thanks for the feedback. this song started as part of a bigger project (we get ambitious don't we) The idea was for a sort of sci-fi opera, like rocky horror picture show meets dune, in some future planet earth when genetic engineers have finally created the perfect human who stores all the memories of every life who ever lived inside her genetic memories. so this song was the part when she was given the first look inside her "memories" via a genetic pyschedelic. so yeah without the backstory I can see how it would be vague.I love the chorus too much though, so perhaps i will rewrite it with a different story.

[ideascapes]

Justin,It would help to know your intended usage for this this song (I now see in your later post--sci-fi opera, rocky horror meets dune, but is this intended to be a demo, or the finished score?) so we'd know whether to comment on the engineering, production, playing, etc. Since you just asked for comments about the song, that's what I'll focus on.I think it's an interesting song--a bit quirky, which is a good thing. I can't decide whether the repeating electric piano figure is distracting or helpful--that probably would take dozens of listens to decide. It looks like your form is Verse, Pre-Chorus, Chorus, V/Pre-Ch/Ch, with interesting transitions (but a little long) between sections. The verse is fairly simple both harmonically and melodically, which is fine. You're using a very standard I-IV chord progression there; typically you can get away with that, if there's an interesting melody and/or instrumental hook going on (which you sort of have). The pre-chorus is pretty long, but definitely contrasts with your chorus, in which you repeat the title line in different ways. It's fairly hooky, although not in the typical "big chorus" kind of way. Very understated.As iceman mentioned, the lyric is pretty cryptic, but the chorus is catchy in a sci-fi kind of way, so that matches your stated intent.Good luck!Vince

[updnmusic]

okay, so i've re-written the verse, given it a country vibe, got over my cold and sang some harmonies, dropped out a lot of the electric piano and gave a new intro.http://www.taximusic.com/download/19724 ... w_.mp3Once upon a time my head was full of silly questionsLike, “what makes a seed grow?Why does the sun glow?what’s gonna happen to freckles?Then I got older, my questions got bolderWhen I started looking for loveAnd I’ll be damned but all of my plans turned into a world of mudAnd then you you came into my lifeAnd now baby when you speakThe answers that I seekReveal themselves to be right in front of meWe’re all a part of you, we’re just different points of youBut when all is said and done, all in all is oneAll is oneAll is one, All is one all is one all is one Finally I feel like I ultimately figured it outThanks to you I have a love that leaves no room for doubtNow my favorite part of my day is ending it next to youI have no remaining regrets, just destiny left to pursueBecause you came into my lifeAnd now baby when you speakThe answers that I seekReveal themselves to be right in front of meWe’re all a part of you, we’re just different points of youBut when all is said and done, all in all is oneAll is oneAll is one, All is oneAll is one, all is one all is one