Dispatch Indie Pop Groove Am I on the right track?

[cassmcentee]

Due tomorrow, not sure if this is too stiff/basic or not?!?
I still have to lengthen the tune, am I wasting my time on it?

GROOVE-driven INDIE POP INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a large, NON-Exclusive Music Library with a huge list of great placements in Film, TV, Commercials, and Trailers. They’re on the hunt for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals that would fit on a playlist with artists like (but not limited to) Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Roosevelt, Young Dreams, etc., etc. Please listen to the following references to get an idea of what could work for this pitch:
“Montreal” by Roosevelt
“Of The City” by Young Dreams
“Can’t Keep Checking My Phone” by Unknown Mortal Orchestra
Although the references have vocals, this request is for Instrumentals only!
Please submit original, well-crafted Instrumentals that are both rhythmically and melodically engaging. Your submissions should have a unique beat and plenty of layers of cool, Indie-sounding Instrumentation and ear candy. Your production can be acoustic, electronic, or a combination of the two, as long as it sounds cool, hip, and has a distinct groove. For this pitch, the groove and vibe are all-important!
TAXI Tip: Note that they’re looking for full-length instrumentals and not Cues for this pitch.
All submissions should be between 2:00 to 4:00 minutes long, give or take

Slurdays: https://soundcloud.com/robert-cass-mcentee/slurdays

[lesmac]

Way cool track Cass, definitely not wasted time to my ears.

I listened to one reference track and noticed how it seemed to be funk but with all the reverb and time based effects ala MGMT.

Just a subjective comment I wondered if SOME elements could be a tad drier to solidify or separate them a bit.

I can't hear anything wrong with it on my laptop.

Best with it.

[Telefunkin]

Hi Cass,
I like what you have so far and to my ears its certainly in the style of the Montreal reference (although less funky, but so are the other references). I think you'll make a good and appropriate track from it. Where the kick is exposed I might try shifting its pitch up tone, or using a less 'tuned' kick. Also, keep an eye (ear) on the bass timing. Sounding good though, and I wish you well with it.

[johnlewitt]

Hey Cass,

I definitely hear some 70's cop show rhythms in here.

One thing I would tweak is the overall bass. Occasionally it surged a little to my ears (the overall bass tone, not the instrument).

John

[cassmcentee]

Thanks Les, Graham and John!
Feedback is so important, I tend to lose perspective once I get into the tune.
I will dial back the Reverb, tighten the Bass (actually re-track it now that I feel what it's supposed to do) attend to the kick and lengthen the tune
Also thinking of bumping the tempo up a little bit, feels like it is dragging to me now
Question John, when you say Surge, does it blow out the low end EQ or do you mean something else? If it's the timing I'll get it right...
It was due yesterday but since I didn't get feedback in time I moved on to another track...(save it for the future)
Much appreciated!!!
Cass

[johnlewitt]

By surge, I just meant that the bottom end stood out too much in certain sections. Strictly the feel was too much.

[cassmcentee]

Cool John! I'll open my ears, looking for a Q-tip now...

[annayarbrough]

Cool track, Cass!

[cassmcentee]

Thank You Anna!