Do these lyrics make sense/work

[Mellow D]

This is for a rap song I would appreciate feedback on how easy these lyrics are to follow. Many thanks, Mellow D

Is she alright!?

Is she alright!?

What the hell just happened there.........?

.....Self reflection,
introspection,
Mum and Dad aren't there,
who's going to offfer him protection,
No direction,
living his life,
he's not having a blast,
and he keeps crossing paths,
with people on the same boat,
with no hope,
and this rope,
is getting tighter round his neck,
he's angry, hungry....

Johnny's got a gun!
See that glint in his eyes,
Maybe he can pass off this pain inside,
wave another life goodbye,
when he's the one who really wants to die...

The joint hadn't been cased,
the drink hadn't been laced ,
this is just some random twist of hate,
broad daylight robbery,
eye witnesses state,
Johnny was waving his pistol all over the place,
could barley stand straight...
clearly off his face,
outside an Office place,
blew off his face!!!

Charged by his anger,
now he's been charged by the book,
leaving a young Wife sobbing,
for a husband he took!

But the young Wife's tears,
soon turn to rage,
she wants to get revenge,
for the cards life's played...

So she talks to her lost lover's friends that night,
they say an eye for an eye,
well thats gotta be right,
and Johhny's brother he works at the Coopers Arms,
so the mob head that way,
intent on causing him harm.
Some time later on that night,
Johnny's Brother was shanked with a stanley knife,
and Johnny's Brother's Wife,
she tried to stop that fight,
But she got shoved in the back,
and caught her heels in a crack
the last thing she saw was two yellow lines,
then her head hit the curb and she left this life...

They were charged by their anger,
now they'll be charged by the book,
leaving a young orphan sobbing,
for the parents they took....!

And you'll be crying out car alarms,
and it's clear as calm ,
that hate and fear,
dance arm in arm,
in the City....
In the City...
In thie City...!

[jonathansorensen]

I get it. . . . it's a very smart lyric and makes the point without being too preachy. The story developed really well. The only thing you might try for, I'm not sure, is something a little more specific in the intro to give us an idea of why he's such an angry man. We get that he didn't have guidance or help. Maybe a specific scene instead of general information? His father walking away when he needs help or something?

Would be nice to hear the track when you're ready.