Do you agree with the screener on this?

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coxnvox
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Do you agree with the screener on this?

Post by coxnvox » Mon Mar 07, 2022 9:59 am

I've had a lot of positive response to this song, and while I wasn't surprised by the return, I did find the particular criticism of the melody interesting.
"What I like most about this song
Great piano parts!
I think you could improve this song by
Melodically this song could use a little work. You are landing on the same note a lot. Try to change up your melodic flow and give us new and interesting phrases and feels.
I returned or forwarded this song because
I returned this song because melodically it's missing the extremely high bar they're after."

Here are the landing notes of the first 6 phrases (scale note #'s because I play it transposed and I'm lazy right now!):
1, 5, 3, repeated verse form so 1, 5, 3 again, then prechorus is 6, 7, then chorus first phrase lands on 2.
So, not counting the repeated verse phrases, (which SHOULD match,) I use 6 different landing notes on 6 phrases...that is "landing on the same note a lot"?

Feel free to critique the rest of the song as a whole...I don't think it's exactly "Wish You Were Here" or anything, but that struck me as odd. I'm sure the screener felt something about the melody was off, but what they wrote doesn't seem to hold water. Thoughts?

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Casey H
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Re: Do you agree with the screener on this?

Post by Casey H » Mon Mar 07, 2022 10:57 am

Hey James! Long time!
Well, this was a very high bar listing which mentioned "engaging melodies and unforgettable choruses". I honestly don't know if I would have picked up on it had I not read what the screener said. But the melody is a bit flat and repetitive using the same notes a lot. I would chalk that up to this being very bar and the song might work for a different opportunity. What struck me more was that the backing instrumentation (the strings) seemed too heavy handed and overshadowed the vocal. Listen to the Harry Styles reference track, the vocal is clear. That track also demonstrates the more melodic nature of the song that the screener was talking about.

Interestingly, I had a return for another listing where the screener used that exact same phrase, "I returned this song because melodically it's missing the extremely high bar they're after". I was surprised on that one because the song is in 2 other very selective libraries. But everyone's bar is different.

BTW, I think re-mixing this song to lower the strings and bring out the vocal might make it more marketable. JMHO.

Best,
:D Casey

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Re: Do you agree with the screener on this?

Post by cosmicdolphin » Mon Mar 07, 2022 2:45 pm

I don't think your melody moves around as much as the ref tracks so it's not as engaging , but it's a perfectly good song. Maybe better as a song on TV show where it's supporting something else rather than an artist song where they are looking for potential singles or album cuts.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Mark

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Re: Do you agree with the screener on this?

Post by coxnvox » Mon Mar 07, 2022 10:48 pm

Thanks for listening and responding, Casey and Mark. On to my next return-worthy song! 😂
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Re: Do you agree with the screener on this?

Post by coxnvox » Tue Mar 08, 2022 6:05 am

Harry Stiles track landing notes, just for reference:

3, 1, 6 then repeat 3, 1, 6, then chorus starts 1, 1, 1...

Seems like repeating landing notes might be what I NEED to do to make it sound more modern. Whatever the case, I'll keep trying to make my melodies more "Stiles"istic!!

Casey, I'm going to redo the vocal. I've been messing with virtual preamp/mic combos a lot and finally found something I love on my voice so I think I'll redo the vocal and also change the verb/delay settings because I think they take away from the intimacy this mix needs. And while I'm at it, I'm gonna bring the vocal out from the strings part a little more because I think that's a fantastic suggestion. Thanks again.

It HAS been a while! My landlord decided to demolish my house right about the time I got Covid and had a major job change! So lots of busyness the last 8 months or so. Cheers!
James Cox
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