ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

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irthlingz
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ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by irthlingz » Sun Jul 18, 2021 3:06 pm

Full TAXI listing and lyrics are up at the link:

"Go Go Go"

Ears much appreciated, as usual!

===
Michael and Sharon

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Re: ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by Paulie » Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:26 pm

Fun, nice attitude. ;) To me this is a stream of consciousness effort, there is no actual song form: verse, pre-chorus, chorus, verse 2, chorus, bridge, chorus, etc. It starts and then just goes and goes, 'cuz you "can't go slow." ;)

But, if that's the vibe you are shooting for, revisit the mix. The vocal should be center in the mix, add some reverb and compression, and most important... add some space. Every section needs to have a single focal point... the guitar is soloing over the entire track which is not a good idea. Remove the count off clicks at the beginning. But, back to the main point: there is no actual form to this song, there is no verse or hook. It will not get forwarded in its current form.
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Re: ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by irthlingz » Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:29 pm

Thank you Paulie. Astute and helpful as always!

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Re: ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by Telefunkin » Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:44 am

From the listing I see "modern" and "should have solid melodies, infectious rhythms, catchy hooks, and feel-good lyrics."
From the refs I get a ton of pop sensibility, the mainstream appeal that's asked for, and the hooks (lyrical and musical) that instantly grab your interest.

Yes, its upbeat :). IMHO I'd say there are a few problems though. The ones that I hear include:
- too much lyrical variation but without focus on any particular lyrical hooks
- the lyrics are perhaps a little child-like, which is a bit of a departure from mainstream pop (mainly youthful)
- the vocal performance is occasionally out of time and not quite reaching the high notes, and although it has a charm that might be great for some commercials its not mainstream pop that is asked for.
- I don't hear a solid melody
- the constant guitar solo (as Paulie mentioned) is too much, isn't a feature of the refs or any current mainstream pop, and soloing over the 2major chord doesn't fit (Band-In-A-Box?)
- there's little sense of typical song verse/chorus/bridge structure, but more importantly its missing musical hooks
- overall, there's no development or build or arc (whatever you prefer to call it), which could have helped an editor choose the intensity that suits their purpose
- the vocal runs over when the music stops because there's no structured ending, although the ending is a vital part of all submissions regardless of purpose.
- the production is cute but not as hard-hitting and dynamic as the refs, and although that's not an easy thing to achieve its an important part of pop.

That's a whole lot to think about, but these are just my thoughts so take or leave whatever you like from them. Regardless of their merit though, if you want to get closer I would suggest putting those ref tracks on repeat for an hour or two so you can hear what makes them appealing. Maybe see which bits of them stick in your head musically and lyrically.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.

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Re: ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by cosmicdolphin » Mon Jul 19, 2021 5:10 am

It's usually best to post the whole Listing so we don't have to go looking for it and also it means when the listing ends, the info is still here for others to read in the future.

Graham has given you a good idea of the reasons why, but I agree it just doesn't sound remotely Modern as per the listing request.

If it was better performed / mixed / produced up to "Broadcast Quality" it would still sound like something that would be much better served by one of the 60s-70s Listing which crop up every now and then. The only way to get a modern sensibility is to listen to and absorb/enjoy a lot of current music which I am guessing you don't do judging by your songwriting style.

-------------------------------------------------

MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT SONGS (IN ALL GENRES) with Male or Female Vocals are needed by a great Publisher with an awesome track record of really big placements in TV Commercials!

This awesome Company is open to hearing feel-good Songs in most of the popular/commercially viable genres, including Pop, Rock, EDM, Singer-Songwriter, Folk, R&B/Soul, Rap/Hip-Hop, Country, etc. We recommend avoiding submitting anything that doesn't have a lot of mainstream appeal – sorry, Metal-heads!

This Publisher is looking for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Songs that would fall within the general range of the following references (don't limit yourself to just these):

"Touch The Sky" by Kanye West

"Feel It Still" by Portugal. The Man

"Juice" by Lizzo

"Every Little Thing" by Russell Dickerson

"Honeypie" by JAWNY

Please submit upbeat Songs that could viewers get excited about whatever's being advertised in a commercial! Your submissions should have solid melodies, infectious rhythms, catchy hooks, and feel-good lyrics. Whichever genre you decide to submit, be sure your production is modern and competitive with other artists in that genre. Exuberant, well-performed vocals could be the final touch to get this Publisher excited about your music!

Please avoid lyrics that are moody, dark, or depressing, as well as anything that has specific names, places, dates, times, brands, and/or profanity. Simple, impactful, feel-good lyrics that would work well in TV commercials are the order of the day! Do NOT copy the referenced artists or songs in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, tone, and overall vibe. Broadcast Quality is needed.

The specific deal points will be handled on a case-by-case basis. You must own or control your Master and Composition to submit to this opportunity. Please submit as many Songs as you’d like, online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PDT) on Monday, July 26th, 2021. TAXI # S210726UP

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Re: ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by BradGray » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:59 am

irthlingz wrote:
Sun Jul 18, 2021 3:06 pm
Full TAXI listing and lyrics are up at the link:

"Go Go Go"

Ears much appreciated, as usual!

===
Michael and Sharon
The best suggestions I can give here are as follows:

1) Go and tear apart those references. Break down the song structures of the referencing, including key, tempo, and structure, and review your composition to see if it's a similar structure. If it's not, then it's not likely to sound/feel like the references. Much of this work is done with a simple google search too...

2) Sounds - Does your track have a similar tone, vibe of the references. Instrumentation similar? Drum sounds similar? Vocal phrasing and/or styles similar?
If it doesn't, then it's not likely to have the sound/feel of the references.

3) Song Form - Go back and listen to those references. Is the structure, v/c/v/c or v/pc-ch/ch or v/v/v/v/v/v/v/v/v ? Study their song forms, and try to set your composition up in the same way. From both an arrangement and a timing perspective.

Hope that helps. Good Luck!
B

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Re: ears on MODERN, EMOTIONALLY UPBEAT (S210726UP)

Post by irthlingz » Mon Jul 19, 2021 5:07 pm

Graham, Mark and Brad -- Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment thoughtfully and constructively! Whether or not we manage to "fix" this particular effort, your insights and advice do help move us down the road!

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Michael and Sharon

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