Looking for feedback on "I Like Screwed Up People". (The listing is at the link, too.). Thanks!
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Sharon & Michael
Easygoing country ( S240430CY )
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- irthlingz
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Re: Easygoing country ( S240430CY )
Just a couple of suggestions with regard to lyrical phrasing....
You could make things sound MUCH more natural by adjusting where the stresses land on the line "Their logic may all be bull".
So instead of spotlighting "be" it spotlights "all" and "bull", just like you'd say it.
To do that, you could leave a gap between "logic" and "may" so that "all" coincides with change to the 'A' chord.
"Their logic may all be bull"
Later on, I'd also suggest omitting the line "but its alright" so you don't have to cram in the line before it. Then you'd have...
"They scream murder.... slaughter,
suicide
But get used to being on the losing side "
Its subjective of course, but these are the details that can make a big difference to whether lyrics sound comfortable to listen to or awkward and rushed. At least they do to me . Others might disagree, but this is 'country', not 'pop' where it seems to be more accepted to mess with conversational stress patterns (although I might question one of the lines in the ref track ).
On production, the backing track sounds nice, but there's something a little unusual going on with the vocal sound (slow phasing and panning?). The ref track vocal is great and has the occasional harmony line that lifts it, so if that's what the listing demands then I'm not sure this vocal performance can compete (although I think its your best yet). A bit more leveling plus compression would help too, but again, it would need to keep the natural performance sound otherwise it would do more harm than good.
Anyway, I think you did well making this track and I wish you good luck with it.
You could make things sound MUCH more natural by adjusting where the stresses land on the line "Their logic may all be bull".
So instead of spotlighting "be" it spotlights "all" and "bull", just like you'd say it.
To do that, you could leave a gap between "logic" and "may" so that "all" coincides with change to the 'A' chord.
"Their logic may all be bull"
Later on, I'd also suggest omitting the line "but its alright" so you don't have to cram in the line before it. Then you'd have...
"They scream murder.... slaughter,
suicide
But get used to being on the losing side "
Its subjective of course, but these are the details that can make a big difference to whether lyrics sound comfortable to listen to or awkward and rushed. At least they do to me . Others might disagree, but this is 'country', not 'pop' where it seems to be more accepted to mess with conversational stress patterns (although I might question one of the lines in the ref track ).
On production, the backing track sounds nice, but there's something a little unusual going on with the vocal sound (slow phasing and panning?). The ref track vocal is great and has the occasional harmony line that lifts it, so if that's what the listing demands then I'm not sure this vocal performance can compete (although I think its your best yet). A bit more leveling plus compression would help too, but again, it would need to keep the natural performance sound otherwise it would do more harm than good.
Anyway, I think you did well making this track and I wish you good luck with it.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.
- irthlingz
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Re: Easygoing country ( S240430CY )
Thank you, Graham, really appreciate the listen and the feedback!
- irthlingz
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Re: Easygoing country ( S240430CY )
Fixed the vocal problem and added harmony. V2 at same link - see first post in thread. (Thanks again, Graham.)
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Sharon & Michael
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Sharon & Michael
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