Empty Stages ROUGH DEMO

[seanmorrow]

Hi everyone, first time posting on Taxi Forum (link below). Here's something I put together a few months ago that I would love some feedback on. Please note I'm VERY new to this, so I'm super open-minded to feedback. I plan on rerecording all these tracks after I get some suggestions and invest in better recording equipment for the guitar and vocals (the keys and bass are digital and the drums are a Logic Pro pre-set track). After I rerecord I'll be sending the tracks out to Ronan Murphy for mixing and mastering, as I was fortunate enough to win the raffle at this year's Taxi Rally.

https://on.soundcloud.com/jhXse

[deantaylor]

Hey Sean,

Welcome to the forum.

I think your song has potential. I like the vibe. I think your voice and vocal style will sound good on it.
It's cool that you'll get a Ronan Murphy mix-master!
Do you have a reference track in mind for sound and style?

If your goal is film-tv, the lyrics might not be the best for that. Your lyrics seem to fit an antagonistic relationship scene, but I'm not sure how well they fit what clients generally look for. Of course, sometimes it is more the vibe producers want and the lyrics don't matter so much.

Note: I tend to write some lyrics just to make a good song, and let the film-tv chips fall where they may (sometimes these songs surprise me and get sync licenses). Other lyrics I write more with general film-tv rules and conventions in mind. But either way I like to know if others think the lyrics/song are 'placeable'.

Dean

[deantaylor]

On changing lyrics for film-tv
- universal lyrics work best for film-tv .. specific details and storylines are generally 'bad'
- When considering lyric changes, I look for win-wins, where a change makes the song better overall AND better for film-tv too
- if I can't find a win-win, I usually stick with what is best for the song and let the licensing chips fall where they may (but that's just me)

On your lyric:
- greenroom is specific, I'd try to find something more general/universal there .. something like 'our old flame', 'your hot air', etc
- 'empty stages' could work, but it is not well supported by the rest of the lyrics. 'greenroom' seems to be the only tie to 'empty stages'. I'd look to change both.

If you post the written lyric it is easier to review.

[Casey H]

You can put the lyrics in the soundcloud comments and they will be visible at the link. I often do that if I use SC.