Feedback on Dark/Ominous Listing Please

[madkeys88]

I'd appreciate your feedback on two songs (Shadowland and Remnant) I plan to submit to the following listing:
NEW LISTING -- DARK and OMINOUS HYBRID UNDERSCORE CUES are needed by a busy and very active Music Library for placements on a number of TV Shows they're supplying music to. Please submit eerie, tension-building, Down-to-Mid-Tempo Underscore Cues that could work well for shows like Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Gotham, etc., etc., etc. Give them suspenseful, hybridized Instrumental Underscore that effectively deliver a feeling of on-the-edge-of-your-seat anticipation. Instrumentation can vary, but should be focused on a central melodic idea, while layering various instruments in and out as your Cue progresses to keep it compelling, forward moving, and filled with a building sense of uneasy tension. Please submit Instrumental Cues that are at least 2 minutes in length. Easy edit points and non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings are needed for this pitch. Broadcast Quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine). This Company offers both EXCLUSIVE and NON-EXCLUSIVE deals. The specific deal points will be handled on a case-by-case basis. If you're inclined to do an Exclusive deal, please don't submit material for this pitch that's already signed with any other libraries or publishers. You must own or control your Master and Composition to submit to this opportunity. Please submit one to three Instrumental Cues online or per CD. All submissions will be screened on a Yes/No basis - No full critiques. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59PM (PST), on Sunday, February 28th, 2016. TAXI #Y160228HU

https://soundcloud.com/madkeys88/shadowland/s-JRss4
https://soundcloud.com/madkeys88/remnant/s-zaTTD

Thanks for your input.

[MattCurious]

Hi Mark

I like Shadowlands. I've got a few thoughts that I'll bash out in a stream-of-consciousness. Forgive the brevity - it's been a long day and I'm tired!

You have a pad come in on the right around 0:13 which feels quite heavy on the bass. Something that heavy, I personally would have panned centrally to give the track a "floor." The heavier part of the pad in Remnant feels more central and grounded to me. Nice.

You've got a gated, melodic sounding pulse that starts to come in around 0:45 - I'd have that in quite early; give the listener something to cling to as the rest of the soundscape evolves around them.

The kick that comes in around 1:24 feels a little dry in comparison to the rest of the track, which has a nice ambient feel. I'd consider pushing the kick a little further back with some reverb; soften the transient - make it more like a heartbeat.

In Remnant, there's a high, swelling sound that I think first comes in around 0:10. I'd consider taking that back in the mix a little. Based on feedback I've had, that could be regarded as "too intrusive" for dialogue.

Similarly the pulse at around 1:05 may be a bit too big for underscore. I'd lower it a little in the mix. I absolutely love the section it introduces, though. Is it possible for this to happen earlier? The soundscapey section runs for over a minute and might be a bit long for this kind of cue - it didn't feel like there was any movement until after the first minute, after which it gets a really cool groove.

Hope that helps
Matt

[madkeys88]

Hey Matt. Thanks for that input... it's excellent and I know exactly the parts and places you are talking about. Thanks for being so specific too. It really helps a lot. Take care.

Mark

[Russell Landwehr]

This is good stuff. They could certainly get signed somewhere as (mostly) is.

The things that stand out for me on this are that they want "hybrid" which means your orchestral parts are going to need to be much more prominent. In my largely uneducated opinion the "hybrid" stuff is centered around orchestra that is supported by synth. The synth can come in first as a drone part, and then some other tasty synthy things also later, but the Orchestra (usually brass and strings with very light percussion) should carry the cue. This would mean melody as well.... second thing:

These are nice "drone" cues, specially in the first half of both. The lack of "melody" makes them that. Check out the listing, they want a "theme". So I think you need to get some unremarkable melody in there. (unremarkable because you don't want to draw attention it.... it's a fine line to straddle... good but not noticeable)

Finally, those big hits in the middle of Remnant are way too startling to be underscore. Also, they tend to take this into a "scored" realm instead of cue realm. One of the main things about cues is that they need to (mostly) stay with the same feel throughout... but usually building of course. If you switch up too much in the middle, the second half of the cue will pretty much be unusable.

You're doing good work. Hopefully this helps and I'm not steering you too far astray.

Regards
Russell Landwehr

[madkeys88]

Thanks Russel. Your input is much appreciated and great feedback and suggestions. I still have so much to learn.
Take care.

Mark

[jeromerossen]

Hi Mark-
You’re doing good work here.

Just to echo Russell a bit - the hits you have in Remnant sound just about like the sounds that the editor might place themselves in the “sound design channel”. The SD channel isn’t necessarily different all the time, but for our purposes, we can assume that the SD might be louder and importantly, specifically cued to the action on the screen. Since we’re writing blind, not knowing what sort of action is going to happen, we have to err on leaving those kinds of hits out.

It’s possible and often preferable to have a hit like that if the track has been building up tension to that moment.

If you’re up for it, to my ear, you could split Remnant into 2 tracks - track one, a cool drone, stop at the hit and write the rest of the track (make it 2:00 or so). The second track can start on those two hits - use the roadmaps you’ve already started, write to 2:00 again… and be sure to have a nice clean ending.

Speaking of endings - I think you could have a stronger hit on a track Shadowlands. Right now it sort of just ends. Editors might start your track at the end and play the last 1:00 or 0:30 to use your ending for the end of a scene. You’ll want to give them an ending they can use…

Keep up the good work… we’re all learning here.
Jerome

[madkeys88]

Thanks Jerome. I appreciate your input. I get what you're saying about the SD. I hesitated leaving them after I put them there. I also like your idea of making Remnant into two separate tracks. Thanks again for the feedback. Greatly appreciated!

Mark

[bobporri]

Really nice stuff Mark. I think previous comments are very good ones.

Bob P.

[madkeys88]

Great. Thanks Bob!

[Russell Landwehr]

Jerome makes some great points there. I asked a guy once, "should I put cymbal swells in my cues?". He said only of it makes musical sense.
I got to deep-dive a promo that my editor cousin did for a reality show. It was amazing how many Sound Design audio tracks he was running. It was after seeing how he built the thing that I was better able to pick the SD out from the music in scenes while researching TV.