Feedback on "Heartfelt Singer/Songwriter" (S210529HF)

[irthlingz]

We're planning to submit our song "Bounce Back" for S210529HF ("HEARTFELT SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS with Lyrics about "The Light at the End of the Tunnel")

Any feedback/suggestions for improvement greatly appreciated!

https://irthlingz.com/bb.html

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Michael & Sharon

[AudiniAudio]

I could see it being placed in certain kinds of film genres the way it is but the guitar playing is a bit shaky and has poor production value. The vocals are too far in front if there is such a thing. The vocal delivery is old fashioned but could work depending. The references to Batman with Biff Bam Pow will be lost on the generation raised on Tik Tok which is just as well because it's embarrassing. I'm only just back to Taxi so the guys are still waiting to hear what my output sounds like but it only reflects good on Taxi if we know where the bar is. The competition isn't fierce it's furious. You're competing with some high level pros. I get it that you want to post your stuff to see if it will fly and you'll never know until you try. But the actual listing says, "Is it GREAT? Does it sound ready to go as it is?" and the answer is no on both counts. Have a look in the Lyric Lovers section of this forum for the post titled "Lyrics." I've placed a critique there of that lyric which covers some of the comments I would say here. You could get some of your stuff placed eventually especially if you stick around, listen to a lot of the music in the Forwards section of the forum and ask a lot of questions. Have you got 3 years of your calendar clear?

[BradGray]

Hey Irthlingz,

To echo some of what AudiniAudio was touching on, is the broadcast quality of the song. I think that the engineering and production of the song, detract from the piece. The electric is a somewhat muddy, vocals are way out front but sort of a thin sound to the piece. It's okay if that's the sound you're going for, but if you want to have something more intimate, get closer to the mic when singing. I would also suggest checking out a resource like Produce like a Pro Produce Like A Pro , for some starting tips, suggestions with regarding recording vocals and guitars. Mic placement when recording guitars, and vocals have a tremendous impact on the sound. The site may give you some ideas.

With regards to the song, I'd ask how your recording the track. To my ears it sounds like all at once, with the guitars, harmonies and vocals all together... but I could be wrong. At times it sounds really nice. At times it sounds like the vocals are out of time with each other. Try tracking it section by section in your DAW, and make each section strong. Or if playing all at once, just record take after take and do a comp of all the best parts of each section.

I would also suggest seeing how you could build some further interest with the song, in either adding more percussion, or something along the way. Also, consider the arrangement. Typically the loose rules of songwriting, as I understand them, is that if you have a song that's verse/chorus/verse/chorus you should try to end it somewhere around the 2:00-2:30 mark, in order to keep the listeners interested. This is why the early Beatle songs all were fairly short in length as that was their typical format - and it works.

Overall the song is nice, in tune with the subject matter they're looking for, but the performance and recording will likely need to be much stronger than what has been presented.

Thanks,
Brad

[irthlingz]

Thank you, thank you and thank you: Audini, Tom and Brad! This is what we need.

Really like the idea of a short version, Brad. Will definitely try that.

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Sharon and Michael

[DanWessels]

Good on you for putting what you've done out there - thanks for sharing!

Ditto to previous advice for multitracking - record your guitar on its own, then record your vocals.

Practice punching-in/punching-out so you can re-record those little bits where the guitar messes up the rhythm. While little flubs can be endearing and sound live, I don't get that from the moments it happens here.

With a little clean up/tightening I could see this working in a small indie movie.

[irthlingz]

Dan - Thanks for your input!

[superblonde]

Additionally perhaps the chorus should be changed so that the refrain is held off to make it a surprise.


something something, five four three tonight
something something, turn on all the delights
We're gonna, so open up your life
We're gonna bounce back.


use of 'delights' is pretty cringe but maybe it fits the persona (still cringe though)

[cosmicdolphin]

Not really what singer/songwriter sounds like today and a long way off broadcast quality.

[irthlingz]

Thanks for taking the time to comment, Superblonde & Mark.

Superblonde, will think about your lyrical suggestion ...

[Patrick]

Sounds like a track from a Barney the Dinosaur episode.