Feedback on new song draft?

[LesSampou]

What an excellent idea Michael...I'll fiddle with it (a pun on your music--is that you playing all that front porch fiddle I love so much?) Do you do all your tracking or do you have others perform on your songs? Beer Drinking Girl is a particularly fun tune;) IPA is my style....
Thanks for your great feedback and support.
Les

[mikemichnya]

You're quite welcome. And thanks for the kind words about Beer Girl. As far as the fiddling, I wish I played. (There's an interesting story about how I happen to have one, but I never seem to find the time to try to learn it.) I use band-in-a-box for most tracks.

Cheers!

[LesSampou]

Band in a box huh? Is that a garage band plug in? Sounds damn good.
Let me know if I can ever give you feedback on a lyric or two for what it's worth you probably don't need it!... Les:)

[mikemichnya]

Thanks, Les, much appreciated. Lyric writing is a strength, but there's always room for improvement and I'm always open to help. You're such a talented songwriter, I'd welcome any feedback you might offer on any of my tracks. What I really need help with is melody. (and mixing... and mastering... etc.) I am submitting some of my children's songs tomorrow (to TAXI #S150530CH), so any help on these would be appreciated:

Beep-Beep ~ https://soundcloud.com/mamichnya-1/beep-beep-1
Big Boy Bed ~ https://soundcloud.com/mamichnya-1/big-boy-bedTAXI #S150530CH
Merry Go Round ~ https://soundcloud.com/mamichnya-1/merr ... nd/s-87m8Y

Band-in-a-box (BIAB) is software by Pgmusic made for both PC and Mac. There are midi tracks, but I use it mainly for the RealTracks/RealDrums, which are not samples, but full recordings played by world-class studio musicians in various styles. Far better than anything I could do (although I do my own rhythm guitar, some lead, and some keyboards) at a better price than I can afford to pay at present. And unless I mention that I've used it, nobody so far has been able to tell. I'm using the 2013 version, and they just came out w/2015, which I'm gonna have to upgrade to.

Thanks!

[LesSampou]

Hi Michael,
Interesting way to use band in the box; i had no idea. So it's not copyrighted or do you mix all the various tracks together? Any how, more importantly, our hildrens' songs are precious. I love merry go round and beep beep. If you really want any comments (they sound fine without my input) please post the lyrics here if it's not too much trouble.
best, Les

[mikemichnya]

Hey Les,

I'm glad you liked them! I revised the mix last night and submitted them, but haven't posted the revised mixes to SoundCloud yet, though you should be able to hear them on my taxi page. (I lost half the day to home management and didn't get to the one I really wanted to work on, but such is life.)

It's the mix and production that I really need help with, as I still have a lot to learn in that area. The lyrics should be on the soundcloud page, but here they are:

Beep-Beep

One car, two cars, red car, blue car
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
Three cars, four cars, little sports cars
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
As I watch the bright and shiny cars
Zip up and down my street.
I push my cars across the floor
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.

One truck, two trucks, old truck, new truck
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
Three trucks, four trucks, Mack and Ford trucks
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
As I watch the strong and noisy trucks
Rumble up and down my street.
I push my trucks across the floor
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.

BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP
Motorcycles, station wagons,
Vans and campers, tractor trailers
I line 'em up across the floor
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.

One bus, two bus, yellow school bus
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
Three bus, four bus, mini and tour bus
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
As I watch the big and little busses
Stop up and down my street.
I push my bus across the floor
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.

BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP
Motorcycles, station wagons,
Vans and campers, tractor trailers
I line 'em up across the floor
And they all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.

We all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP,
Yeah, let’s all go BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP.
BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP, BEEP-BEEP
Beeptity-Beep, Beep-Beep!

words and music by Michael A. Michnya
Copyright © 2015

Merry Go Round

Lets go for a ride on a merry go round
Climb up on a painted pony
You take the red one and I'll take the blue
Together we'll never be lonely

Up and down, up and down
Round and around
To the oom-pah-pah, oom-pah
Calliope sounds
Up and down, up and down
Round and around
We'll ride the merry go round

Grandpa and Grandma can climb on aboard
Ride in the carriage right here
Pretend that I'm leading the wagon train on
Riding into the wild frontier

Up and down, up and down
Round and around
To the oom-pah-pah, oom-pah
Calliope sounds
Up and down, up and down
Round and around
We'll ride the merry go round

Make one last grab for the brass ring
As the merry-go-round's slowin' down
Win one more ride on that powerful steed
Then head back out to the fairground

Up and down, up and down
Round and around
To the oom-pah-pah,
Oom-pah calliope sounds
Up and down, up and down
Round and around
We'll ride the merry go round
Yeah, we'll ride the merry go round

words and music by Michael A. Michnya
Copyright © 2013

BTW, if you're ever interested in co-writing, let me know.

Thanks again!

[LesSampou]

HI Michael,
Thanks, That make it easier to conceptualize. With Beep Beep, it's all cool. However, i'td say a seque into WHY children like cars is important ; an emotional connection: power, travel, going from one place to the next, the noise, what is it ? And that should be your bridge or chorus. you got great verses. Beep Beep is horns blowing. so it it the noise> the excitement that's the chorus line, just as you recommended to me on Rodeo Star, create a chorus that revolves around beep beep on a different stronger melody.
Les

[LesSampou]

I think I finished the new chorus to replace Yippe Ya Yo and avoid problems:

Rodeo Star singing "HI HO!
Come a long little Dogie, let's rock and roll"

I get to keep my second line and reference my fav The Lone Ranger so the metaphor of this rodeo star going from town to town, ranging so to speak is inherent in those two words...ok that's enough BS....anyhow, it works so far. and changed a melody note on top just to be sure. Sounds completely different. Will post song once it's changed.. Thanks for input! L