Feel Like Losing Faith In Yourself!

[daffsongwriter]

Hi, does anyone ever get these occasional times where they just feel, on their own, no one believes in you, almost like you think you will never be any good in what you want to do, my case, writing and singing the songs I do, and the instruments I play.It happened last night, I cried for ages, it was just horrible. A similar situation happened a long while ago after a jam session too, I was almost intimidated by another musician, who actually did turn out to be a plonker and was purely jealous of attention made to me, others soon boosted my spirits.I know I am probably being silly posting this but I am sure it is a similar thing that all musicians get from time to time.Just wanted to share it, sniff.Daff xx

[booker]

This is definately not a business for the "thin-skinned", or the person who wears their heart on their shoulder. I can relate to what you're saying. Remember that we are our worst critic most times, and usually it's just wroting the right tune at the right time, and giving it to the right person that makes the difference. Best of luck.

[edteja]

Anyone who works in a creative area, any of the arts, hits that pothole from time to time. Self doubt can be crippling. It is good that you had friends to lift your spirits again. Remember that the point is to create your art as well as you can, and what others think doesn't mean a great deal, unless you are only in it for the money.

[roughly]

Daff,I think we all feel this way....At least I do. You just have to be patient and that feeling will go away. Out of the blue something great will happen and you'll wonder why you ever doubted yourself. This is a tough business, not only to be successful in, but many people in the business have learned to be thick skinned and it's tough to get used to at first. The music business is kind of like Chicago I think. I've lived near Chicago my whole life and always when I go on vacation it seems that everywhere else in the states is super nice and friendly. I thought it was just coincidence. Until I've met many people who moved here from other places and had a hard time adjusting to Chicago living mainly because everyone was so unfriendly here. To live here you have to put on your thick jacket and just know that you're better than everyone else Don't know if this made any sense or made you feel better. Keep those good friends of yours and stick with it. Theresa

[ernstinen]

There are many wise words above! The PROCESS of creating is the most important thing.I remember a conversation my wife had with my brother-in-law a few years ago. He was questioning my dedication to music --- why I do it.My wife told him "DREAMS EVOLVE."Dreams evolve. I was a moderately successful artist in the pop/rock field, until I decided to make a change to writing instrumental music. It took me a few years, and just when I was thinking I made a mistake, I got a letter in the mail saying that my Symphony No. 1 was going to be premiered in Washington, D.C. (I was in shock! ) Then another piece got premiered in L.A. Then I won a competetion and had a piece recorded by the Bulgarian Philharmonic. And this fall, another piece that was recorded by the Kiev Philharmonic will be released on CD.I still have emotional ups and downs, but I'm the happiest when I'm creating something new. I just try and keep at it and let my dreams evolve!Ern

[hummingbird]

Quote:Hi, does anyone ever get these occasional times where they just feel, on their own, no one believes in you, almost like you think you will never be any good in what you want to do, my case, writing and singing the songs I do, and the instruments I play.It happened last night, I cried for ages, it was just horrible. A similar situation happened a long while ago after a jam session too, I was almost intimidated by another musician, who actually did turn out to be a plonker and was purely jealous of attention made to me, others soon boosted my spirits.I know I am probably being silly posting this but I am sure it is a similar thing that all musicians get from time to time.Just wanted to share it, sniff.Daff xxHey Daff, the answer is 'yes'. Of course it is. Doubts and frustration are very much a part of the creative process. It's those doubts and frustrations that others may see as stop signs. We kooky, out-in-left-field, misfits, called artists (singers, musicians, songwriters, painters, writers, etc) may yield momentarily, but it's our passion that makes us get up, dust off, and step forward again. I write about this extensively in my blogs, sharing the pratfalls and the successes, beating my head against the wall, making to-do lists and failing to go to bed early as resolved, yet again. My best advice to you is, first all, take good care of yourself right now. When we are passing through the dark night of the soul we need to be compassionate towards ourselves. Do special little things for yourself. A walk in the falling leaves, a long bath listening to favourite music, cook a special meal, call a good best friend & go out for coffee. Remember there are many beautiful, simple, small things that can bring us joy in life.Secondly, do something small everyday to help you feel inspired, or help you feel that you are moving ever so slightly, towards your goals.Thirdly, revisit your goals and your definition of success. I think it's really important to get clear on your personal definition of what being successful means to you. If you are too specific (I was to be famous) then you may block out other opportunities and fail to see other paths when they are right there in front of you. My goal in life is to live the most creative life possible, and be "in" the music everyday. And that's what I strive to do. And I tell my students, if I can do it, you can do it. You're no different than me. If you are passionate about life and about art, then you will find ways to make your life artFULL.I think too that one must always do art, do music, because you can't imagine doing anything else -- not to make an impact on society (altho that's icing on the cake). Do it because it lifts you up. It excites you. Maybe your beloved song isn't a hit song... but you made it. It's an extension and expression of you. So you learn what you can from being turned down or 'returned' and you move on to the next song. Because it's the "act" of creating, that is the transformative thing. It's the "act" that makes us feel good. It's the 'creation' that lifts our spirits. What happens to our art after we create it, is absolutely separate from our self worth.You do matter, you are worthy. You are special and unique. There's no one else like you. Don't give up. Write a song about despair, cry a little more... and then go buy some flowers or play with a little kid or fly a kite or dance the hokey pokey in your living room - anything that will bring you a moment of joy.Books I love:"The Artist's Way" ~ Julia Cameron"Creative Visualization" ~ Shakti Gawain"You'll See it When You Believe It" ~ Wayne Dyer"Six Steps to Songwriting Success" ~ Jason BlumeI also find Bob Bakers blog & books to be continually inspirational - www.thebuzzfactor.comwarmlyHummin'bird

[onoffon]

It's funny, Daff...I have never, ever lost faith in myself or what I've set out in my life to do. I am supremely confident in my own talents and abilities and my other projects are of the utmost artistic quality and integrity.What I have problems maintaining faith in is humanity. Our society is so culturally depraved, I have to question what artistic values the mass public really cares about. Whatever makes it into the media is what people follow. We live in a society where mediocrity is adored. Look throughout history - what music defined the 17th century? The 18th century? The 19th century? Our history is filled with the most amazingly talented composers - Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, Mussorsky, Copland, Stravinsky, and on and on and on...Who will define our time? Michael Jackson? Fergie? Snoop Dogg? Kelly Clarkson? William Hung?Artistic success is now defined by who makes the most money - who charts the most #1's in Billboard - who receives the most radio airplay. It all makes me shake my head...

[53mph]

Quote:Hi, does anyone ever get these occasional times where they just feel, on their own, no one believes in you, almost like you think you will never be any good in what you want to do, my case, writing and singing the songs I do, and the instruments I play.It happened last night, I cried for ages, it was just horrible. A similar situation happened a long while ago after a jam session too, I was almost intimidated by another musician, who actually did turn out to be a plonker and was purely jealous of attention made to me, others soon boosted my spirits.I know I am probably being silly posting this but I am sure it is a similar thing that all musicians get from time to time.Just wanted to share it, sniff.Daff xxHey Daff,Like you I probably shouldn't be writing this right now. It's Saturday morning, I'm about to go off to work after a hellish week of starting at 9am each day in a nuclear power station and working till 9pm teaching English each night.I don't know any details about you but I'm very much in a similar mental place at the moment but perhaps for different reasons.I totally relate to Hummingbirds view that creating music should be my passion and my goal, and not craving success. However, I'm finding as I get older that my life seems to be dragging me in all directions away from artistic creation and as a result I feel pretty empty inside. I feel like I'm in a boat without oars watching the coast getting further and further away. I can still see it for now, but I know that soon it will dissappear from view. I'm finding it increasingly harder and harder to make music, to get in the zone, to feel like it's worth while. Although success should not be craved, it sure as hell helps one to do the thing they want to do without all the other bullshit getting in the way.The music industry is not a place for the thin skinned, but it's also full of such people. Even the most confident people want to feel wanted (Eh onoffon).

[hummingbird]

I have to admit two things that have made a huge difference to my ability to live a creative life: #1 - I have no kids or family to worry about, #2 - I have sacrificed financially to invest time and energy and funds into my career. I shared a small one-bedroom apartment in Vancouver for 8 years, sleeping on the fold-out coach, so I could pay for my voice lessons. I live simply. Buying guitars, recording equipment, paying for demos, does not come easy. Taxi membership & submission fees do not come easy. I've been saving for months for the trip to LA. I could be working in an office, making 50 or 60 grand a year, have a place of my own. But I made my choices, because I only have myself to worry about. And that's enough for me to worry about

[gschmitt]

hey man! cheer up! you don' t do this for fame and fortune, right? this is a much more personal thing, being creative, that is. it's not a question of belief as much as it is an intimate understanding that i simply can't NOT be a musician/songwriter. besides a healthy family, a lot of my happiness comes from creating music. now, a lot of my anxiousness and sometimes discouragement comes from me wondering if anything will come of it, but that's missing the point, isn't it? i'm a poor man financially and i don't know if that will ever change, but what i do know is that i will have a body of work i can be proud of - something that adds to my legacy....be it hugely successful or just something my son shows to my grandson after i've left this earth. a little story, if you'll let me indulge myself:it's funny. i'm a music teacher, but i studied performance in a pretty good university and on the first day of school, the music program director sat us down in the huge auditorium and welcomed all the new students with a question: "what the hell are you studying music for? you're very intelligent people; you could be lawyers, doctors, engineers, businesspeople . . . so many more practical and pragmatic paths. why are you [essentially] taking your education to buy a lottery ticket in this music industry?" needless to say, as a first year (first DAY!!) student, this was a bit daunting being the same thing i've heard from parents/teachers/etc when i told them i was going to be a musician. only this time, it was the guy who i was dumping THOUSANDS into teaching me! anyway, after a bit of silence and awkwardness in the auditorium, he answered in an almost hushed tone: "because we have to. it's who we are; part of us" (with hindsight...what a drama queen!! ) he was right. i took the LSAT and scored very well upon someone's prompting. i even got into some pretty good law schools. . . . but i can't NOT do this. obviously, neither can you. it's part of who WE are. even if you do that day job, you still dedicate HOURS and HOURS of your off-time working to support your music. anyway, cheer up. you have a passion. i know many people who just work and are passionate about NOTHING. we're blessed not to be that way.