Gotta Be Good Looking to Be Bad

[jchitty]

Quote:Hey chitsCool fun tune. Well done. Aside from agreeing with Akron about a full bridge immediately prior to the last chorus, I'm not sure how to improve it.That repetition thing can be such a fine line. We're often told to repeat the hook as much as possible and occasionally told we overdo it. Ack!!On the Jesus line, I thought not only is it not risky but it's a good, funny line.Good work as usual.LiamThanks, Liam. Yeah, I've been thinking long and hard about the hook.....one particular screener had expressed that the hook is too repetitious.....I might have to reinvent the way it's executed in the song....your thoughts mirror others. You and Akron do have a good point about a bridge....before I got all you guys thoughts here, I didn't even think about that possibility, but it's a good idea.Thanks for much for all your input....you produce high caliber music, so I'm always glad for your thoughts!BTW, I owe some folks here a PM, but I'm a bit under the weather today, so I'll return those PM'S ASAP, probably tomorrow. I just want to thank everyone for giving me their opinion today.

[jchitty]

Quote:Chits,First off-- very good song. As you know, country is not my genre, but I really admire the writing. As far as this song, I think melody and structure are dead on, and of course the production is great--- but here's my two cents why it's not quite passing the high bar.The title (hook) is a good thought, but it lacks some punch. The twist on good and bad is interesting, but the phrase itself seems a little forced. Maybe I'm over analyzing here, but the point is not really that you HAVE to be good looking to be bad, (there's plenty of bad ugly people) but rather that looks let you get away with it. Also, the context of the song is about this hot babe, but the hook is a general statement and not specific to her. What if you did a double twist, playing both on the look and good/bad--- like:You look so good nobody can see you're bad, orYou look so good it's hard to see you're bad,IMHO something like that would be stronger, less general. Overall, I think the lyrics are pretty strong-- (and I wouldn't worry about the Jesus saves line-- it's pure country)Weak spots IMHO:Quote:Well, I learned a lesson long agoAnd to some, it might seem sadWimpy line and rhyme for the first chorus "seem sad"-- the other one is much stronger, but this one is your chance to grab attention and it falls short.Hmm... "alert" song written by female A guy's not checking out her teeth and hair Quote:Daddy left my Momma when I was only threeI didn't get Daddy's looksYou could say I fellJust shy of the ugly treeMomma said I hadA real good heartBut there was somethingI should know from the very startI think this may be a tough sell to an artist. Even in country, image is so important--- there's not many who would want to publicize they fall just shy of the ugly tree. I would reconsider this section-- maybe finish the story by revealing this hot babe is actually the singer's girl.Just some thoughts. Very good song here.AubWow, Aub, lots of great critical thought here. Thanks so much. You all give the BEST feedback. You aren't the first person today who pointed out that most country singers wouldn't like to sing a line like "you could say I fell just shy of the ugly tree." Most male country singers like to consider themselves studly (for lack of a better word) hehe. When I wrote this song, I thought about the possibility that many male singers wouldn't want to sing it for that reason, but I took a chance anyway....thinking it might appeal to males on a humorous level. I agree the line 'and to some it might seem sad" could come across as lame and rather trite...it's certainly something I've considered. Hey, your lines you rewrote for the song are interesting here, hehe. I can see where you're going with this.....I'm finding the screeners are pretty dead on, and you folks have agreed with them pretty much, and I didn't even post the review. That tells me that the TAXI screeners are doing a good job....they have pointed out the same flaws with the song as you folks have. I think it might be summed up this way....that the "Gotta Be Good Looking To Be Bad" theme could be done a different way with a better and more cohesive storyline. Your twist ending ain't too shabby either....I like it! Thanks for the really good critique....I know this song has a lot of weaknesses....it's not really one of my best, but maybe I can pitch it to film and tv.Anyway, you folks have a good afternoon.

[jchitty]

Songwriter, thanks for your kind words. I don't know if this song gets the grade of A (from the A plus, hehe)....I'd give this song a B or a B minus maybe. It's not one of my best works, but it does have potential. I'm not sure at this point where I want to go with it....if I decide that I still do want to pitch it to the high bar Nashville listings, some tweaking will be called for.Sorry, Mr. Bill....that's the only place I have my songs posted. I am so inept as far as the internet goes, hehe. I feel your frustration....I tried to listen to Liam's song yesterday along with a few others here, and my computer wouldn't let me do it......here all these folks are giving me great critiques, and I can't reciprocate right now. Oddly enough though, I find that when I try to access the songs later on, then I can get in and listen.....I'm on dialup, so it's maddening.

[jchitty]

Quote:So, you're a "dial-up darlin' in a broadband world?" As J.Steele says, "everything is a song." bcLOL, BC....you ought to start writing that one....it could compete with Brad Paisley's "Online."

[sgs4u]

Chits, I listened and was about to post my thoughts, but Aub covered every one of 'em, and then some! In much clearer detail than I could've. Just always remember to get a minus mix when you pay for recordings, so you CAN change lyrics or melodies later if you need to. It's a lot cheaper, than hiring that wonderful band again. steve

[jchitty]

Quote:Quote:Just always remember to get a minus mix when you pay for recordings, so you CAN change lyrics or melodies later if you need to. It's a lot cheaper, than hiring that wonderful band again. Yep. Let 'em know up front that you'll need a 2mix no voc just in case you decide to do a rewrite. If you use Larry B, he'll prolly dubone off for you, for next to nuthin.Hey billg, great bridge lyric! So far:Chorus:She's a dial-up darlin in a broadband world.Every time I try to email this girl.She drives me mad but she's worth a whirl.'Cause she's a dial-up darlin' in a broadband world.Bridge:Her modem chokes & spits like a catbein' hit on the head with a baseball batAnd though it may take an hour or twoShe's worth it when I do get through!One or two more cowriters with two killer verses and we can all gang-pitch this puppy. I too hear it as Paisley-esque. bcBC and Steve, I did use Larry B. I didn't get a 'minus mix' or '2 mix" when I first got the demo done. I am so new to all this, but I can call Larry if I do decide to redemo this and see what he can do. Thanks for your thoughts, Steve. As always, it's appreciated. Now on to BC's and Bill's collaboration, "Dial Up Darling" (great alliteration there, btw).... LOL, I can't improve upon what you've come up with. Seriously, I think it's great! I wouldn't even try to add to it, and you might have done this as little exercise here, but it pops with originality....you two have written some unique stuff here. You might think this silly, but I know both you guys write really good stuff, so you ought to get together and finish and record this thing! Wouldn't it be cool if this resulted in a foward for you both? I think it has some cool lyrics, and a universal theme since so many people surf the internet...yes, very Paisleyesque.Anyway, I'm in and out for Labor Day....I owe some folks a PM or two, and I'll answer them ASAP....when this holiday leaves my schedule less crazy.

[squidlips]

OMG, bc, you could be describing chits! WELL done, well done!

[jchitty]

I agree, Squid, BC's written some really good lyrics here....along with Bill and Liam.....I left BC an earlier message.....seriously, they should get together behind the scenes and demo and finish this. It could be first for TAXI, a three TAXI member co-write.