Have You Ever Been Arrested

[good4somethingbum]

Have You Ever Been Arrested ©2016 Robert George BMI

I walked in a building on the north shore
Took an elevator to the fourth floor
I got out and sat down by a pea brain
With a rusty nose ring and two foot key chain
Next to him I looked like a normal guy

Started thumbin’ through that application
That gal wanted lotsa pers’nal information
I was fine with all the info she requested
‘cept for “have you ever been arrested”
Cos I didn’t wanna have to lie

I was playin’ poker in the army
When I bluffed a general with a pair of threes
But that two star was a real sore loser
So he called the damn MPs
Then I had a bully for a neighbor
He thought hurtin’ women made him tough
When I taught that bum a lesson
Police led me off in cuffs

She fin’lly called me in to interview me
But that nose ring guy had left her feelin’ gloomy
I could tell that I was bein’ tested
So when she asked, “Have you ever been arrested
I leaned forward and I looked her in the eye

I was playin’ poker in the army
When I bluffed a general with a pair of threes
But that two star was a real sore loser
So he called the damn MPs
Then I had a bully for a neighbor
He thought hurtin’ women made him tough
When I taught that bum a lesson
Police led me off in cuffs

Then and there that lady hired me
For her personal security
I’m so glad that I confessed it
When she asked, “Have you ever been arrested”

Cos I was playin’ poker in the army
When I bluffed a general with a pair of threes
But that two star was a real sore loser
So he called the damn MPs
Then I had a bully for a neighbor
He thought hurtin’ women made him tough
When I taught that bum a lesson
Police led me off in cuffs

I said, “Lady, if you need some muscle, I’m your man
Just as long as we don’t go to Alabam’
I’d have been arrested down near Birmingham
But they couldn’t catch my moonshine van…