Hi, ho Geo here, looking for feedback

[geo]

Greetings, newish Taxi member, just found the boards. A little background, I consider myself a horrible singer (don't worry I have a great vocalist), a below average musician (lotta programming and a good sax/flute player) and a pretty decent songwriter. That being said now thanks to the screeners I also am learning to deal with rejection (I believe they think that is one of their jobs). Gotta a Korg D1200 which I have been messing with for a couple of months and need mix/song feedback (I'm OJT on the recording, last deck was a Tascam 4 track cassette unit 12 years ago). The song was written 20 years ago but this is the closest it's been to what I hear in my head (I was going for a Sinead O. "Stretched on your Grave" groove"). I plan on submitting it as soon as I find a suitable listing (genre suggestions as well please) and have a really good feeling about the song. I'll link to my taxi sight and post lyrics. Enjoy...Geowww.taxi.com/geo"Obsession (when will I see you again) M.Kaplan on fluteObsession (When will I see you again)Lyrics by: George W. Danielscopyright 2007Verse 1:I hung up the phone.... Collapsed into my bed.Your memory lingers.... Images dance in my head, Sweet obsession, I miss you so much.Long for your love and your gentle touch.Your sweet caress, fills my soul with chills,And so I promise, I promise to wait until.... Chorus:Til I see you again.....Tell me, when will I see you again....Can’t wait to hold you in my hands....Tell me when will I see you again. Verse 2:Alone in my restlessness.... I toss and turn.All alone in my bed.... It’s you my heart yearns,Sweet obsession, I miss you so much.Long for your love and your gentle touch. Long for the years, desire fulfilled.Long for the strength but I just can’t wait until.... Chorus / Solo Sweet obsession, I miss you so much.Long for your love and your gentle touch. ( x 2)Verse 3: I long for the hope....And I hope for the will....I will myself the strength I know I’ll need if,I am ever to wait until....Bang chorus two times and beam me up Scotty!!

[mazz]

Hi Geo,I'm not a songwriter so I won't attempt to comment on that aspect but I can comment on the production:First a general comment: Your intro is too long. My experience at the TAXI Road Rally listening sessions watching the bigtime A/R guys go through songs says that they probably wouldn't sit through that intro to wait for the vocals to come in.1. Your website says you did New Wave in the 80s and that really shows in your production. The sounds and the way the effects are used are very 80s in their usage. The drums in particular are very drum machine sounding, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but you are going for a rock style and that's one of the hardest styles to cop with a drum machine. I heard another cut on your site that sounded like it had real drums on it but the production sounded dated as well and the tape hiss in the very beginning was another giveaway.2. You'll hear this term a lot if you go to the Road Rally: "Pitchy". Your vocals are pitchy in spots and the chorusing effect exacerbates that in places. This is a crucial thing to pay attention to if you are trying to get your masters played on TV or in Film. Pitchy vocals are the kiss of death.Don't take any of this personally. You are obviously a very good musician and have been at it quite a while. You just need to keep practicing on the production end to update your sound. There's a ton of great information out there (and some on this forum as well) on recording and the best information is on your radio or TV. If you can try to emulate sounds you hear and like that are current, you'll learn a ton about production just by experimenting to see if you can get that sound.Good work, keep going,Mazz

[geo]

Thanks Mazz, I struggle with the dials, is it an equipment issue? I just use the on board effects of my deck (korg d1200) and fall into the same ones. If you were to give one piece of advice (more/less reverb, compression etc.) what would you say? I listen to the production of other members and wonder what they are doing that I'm not. Anyone else wanna chime in on this one, please, mucho gracias amigo.P.S. Everyone, I'm a big boy, don't worry about the feelings thing, I got a whole salt shaker, not just a grain ..... Geo

[liamkelly]

I'm probably just going to echo the comments above (and they're much better qualified than I).My thoughts, in point form:1) The intro is too long but it's an attractive major scale pop progression2) There is a lot of vocal doubling but it is not nearly tight enough. There are tails here and there and everywhere3) The hook (when will I see you again) is very catchy but is disjointed by too many interludes, flute breaks and so on.4) The lead vocals are both flat and sharp in places5) The drum patterns get very repetitive towards the endSounds like a slam but I don't mean it to be. Has really attractive elements - I just think it needs rearrangement, the vocals redone and a better mix. Just like my tracks do Liam

[geo]

Thanks for the comments, guys, got a lot to work with here. What does "pitchy" mean? In and out of key? not sure. We normally double the lead and spread it, harmonies and instruments more centered, I'll try switching that and redoing the drum fills @ the end. Will repost cahnges in a day or so. Gracious Amigos... Geo

[sgs4u]

Quote: What does "pitchy" mean? In and out of key? not sure. We normally double the lead and spread it, harmonies and instruments more centered, I'll try switching that and redoing the drum fills @ the end. Will repost cahnges in a day or so. Gracious Amigos... GeoFYI - pitchy means - out of tune with the other instruments enough that it is noticable and distracting

[andreh]

Quote:The singer has a good voice. I would not cover it with the chorus effect.This coming from a guy with a great voice who covers it with too much chorus! André