Hip-Hop Tension (with Horn Stabs) feedback request

[mattbee]

(Also posted on 52 cues)
Hi all,
I'm not that experienced in writing Hip Hop, would love any feedback on this one!
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/175ugy2c ... tipcg&dl=0
From this listing below - thanks in advance!

Lots of HIP-HOP TENSION CUES (with HORN STABS) are needed by a super-active Production Music Library with a lot ofP placements on MAJOR networks!

This Library is on the hunt for Instrumental Cues that are in the general stylistic wheelhouse of the following examples:

WARNING: The references may include graphic and explicit lyrics. Listener discretion is advised.

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta - (From 19:43 to 20:32)

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta - (From 4:11 - 4:42)

"Tell Me" by RL Grime & What So Not

Although one of the references has vocals, please submit Instrumental Cues only for this request.

Please submit well-crafted Hip-Hop Tension cues with big, aggressive brass stabs that could be used for reality TV or sports programming! Your submissions should have engaging motifs, solid arrangements, powerful brass, slick hip-hop beats, polished productions, and a gritty, in-your-face type energy. Stick to a central motif throughout and add and subtract layers of instrumentation as your Cues progress to create a forward motion. Please make sure that any virtual instruments you use are high-quality, genre appropriate, and are not dated-sounding.

All submissions should be roughly 90 seconds to 2 minutes in length (give or take). Non-Faded, Button/Stinger endings will work best. Please do NOT copy the referenced material in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, texture, tone, and overall vibe. Do NOT submit any material with unauthorized samples of any other artists’ music, sounds, or any other form of media. Broadcast Quality is needed.

This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal. You’ll split any upfront sync fees 50/50. They’ll get 100% of the Publisher’s share, and you’ll get 100% of the Writer’s share. You must own or control your Masters and Copyright. Since this is an EXCLUSIVE deal, please be sure the material you submit for this pitch is NOT already signed with other Libraries or Catalogs. Please submit as many Instrumental Cues as you’d like, online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. NO DEADLINE EXTENSIONS for this request. Sorry folks, but we're on an extremely tight deadline, so please don't ask! Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PST) on Wednesday, February 28th, 2024. TAXI # S240228TN

[cosmicdolphin]

I think you have the right ideas musically but it's not really hitting hard enough production wise and comes across somewhat tame

Your kick drum sounds very weak, I would change it for a better sounding kick sample that has some more welly behind it. You want the drums to hit hard so use hard hitting sounding drum samples from the outset. Then you might try using a paralell compression buss or maybe a clipper to give them energy.

The brass is also too polite sounding, try doubling it an octave below to give it more power, maybe throw some distortion on it or a little OTT plugin. Or both. You could also think about doubling your kick drum with it to make it stand out more.

The bass also needs more energy and midrange translation, again maybe try doubling it with something that gives it a little low mid and throw some saturation or distortion on it. Mostly these are mix/production stuff that you can learn on Youtube so it might be an idea to go and watch some genre releveant mix tutorials.

Mark

PS - I would avoid doing key changes as well , it's a bit of a no-no in library cues

[Telefunkin]

Its all in this paragraph from the listing.... "big, aggressive brass stabs ...engaging motifs, solid arrangements, powerful brass, slick hip-hop beats, polished productions, and a gritty, in-your-face type energy..... central motif throughout..... add and subtract layers of instrumentation as your Cues progress to create a forward motion".

If you flip between your track and the last of the refs (for example) check those items and see whether you nailed it. I agree that yours has some of the right elements but maybe its a bit lacking on aggressive, powerful, slick, polished, gritty and forward motion. That last ref track is a good one because its full length, not hidden under dialogue and not relying on vocals, so you can clearly hear there's a great sound with lots of interest all through. If you can capture that then you don't need the key change. Cosmicdolphin's given you some great pointers on how to beef up the track.

[BTW that last ref track is the only I had a chance of finding without hunting for the actual listing, so its worth copying/pasting the links when asking for help ]

[mattbee]

Hey everyone, thanks so much for that feedback! Much appreciated!

[mattbee]

Hi everyone,
I've revised this Based on the comments above, plus have added some additional ear candy. The sections in the references that were used here are quite sparse, so hopefully I haven't overdone it:

Deck Dispute V2

https://youtu.be/Si79O-0XN9c?si=lomamczwolxts6yU&t=1183

https://youtu.be/QfzIr0imc_Q?si=fuVlwluuC35LJguQ&t=251

I'd be forever grateful for any further comments, and thanks again for assisting above

Kind regards,

Matt

[cosmicdolphin]

I think that's a much better track than it was before, the brass stabs sound too loud in the balance now so you need to have them not poking out the mix so much. It might help to shave some dynamic range off them with a limiter then tuuck them further down in the mix.

[Telefunkin]

Hi everyone,
I've revised this Based on the comments above, plus have added some additional ear candy.

That's quite an improvement so well done on listening to all the helpful advice and putting it into action. Good luck with the submission.

[mattbee]

Thank you so much again guys, really appreciate it!

[Paulie]

Musically I think you are close, but the sounds/mix are not quite there. The brass sounds muffled, needs to be edgier. The kick needs more impact (try using a transient shaper to give it more punch). The bass needs to be replaced with a better sounding 808. Overall I think the mix could use some polish to get more brightness and edge. Stylistically I think you've got it, especially the snare fills, it just needs more energy.