I did a bunch of reviews & feel ok to post my own

[rnrmachine]

Hi folks,I spent a number of hours listening to songs and reviewing them in hope to show I am not just looking for help but intend to give it as well. All my friends call me Rob so I'd like you all to think of me as Rob hehe. (Rock and Roll Machine is what I used to be called by some band mates in my playing out days. I earned the nickname "Robbie Rhoades" in my "live" days too.)Anyway, here is my song and I want ANY advice on it. I want to put it out for film and TV or wherever I can. Any ideas on refinement or key changes etc.. are not only welcome but I would feel privileged to get your input.http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... dsq=1There are a few things I think about changing but I want to see if anyone mentions or does not. Thanks for listening!!!P.S. I am aware this isn't exactly "Rock" hehe

[deantaylor]

Rob,I don't have much advice for you, but I think it is a good song. I liked it. Lyric seemed good, though on only 2 listens, I could have missed things. Melody and vox, I liked. Seems like more of a 'mood' song .. more suited for film/tv than artists pitches. Good luck with it.DeanPS Appreciate your review of my song.

[squidlips]

Hey Rob:Well, you seemed interested in getting input so I guess I'll just throw this out there. Remember, it's only worth the time it took for me to write it so feel free to tell me to take a long leap off a short pier, lol.1. I'd bring your vocal up. It gets lost in the mix at times.2. I'd bring up the drums a bit or fatten them up a little, give it some drama.4. Can you change the chorus up at all? I know how it is, we love our work and don't want to change a thing about it but the chorus blends into the verses so much it's hard to distinguish between the two except that you repeat the chorus. It's possible you could get away with singing a 3rd above what you're singing now and get away with it, see if that works.3. When you get to the lyrics (and I think these are the lyrics, not sure) "happy when I can't be myself" is there a way to start climbing from there to the newer, higher chorus?I think it's got some good things going on there, almost a Pink Floyd type feel to it. It jes needs a boost. Bumping up your voice so the lyrics are up front would help a lot and trying to find ways to hit home with the lines you want the audience to really feel would help, I bet.I bet what I jes wrote didn't make any sense, did it?

[dgolding]

Pretty much what squid said. Bring up the vocal, let the drums build it up in places, maybe add a key change somewhere.Basically, its just lacking definition and contrast imo.

[johnhampt]

It has an Alan Parson vibe to it. Very emo. I really liked the mood of the song and was waiting for something more but it kind of just carried on. Like previously said, I felt everything kind of ran together without much contrast between the verses and chorus. I think a bridge that perhaps changes key might help seperate it all out. Technically, I did not like the drum beat patterns. It sounded very much like a drum machine. Are you using a SR16? The song had a loosey, goosey feel which I liked but the drums were timed differently and kind of threw it all off a bit. Good guitar work. I know you doubled the vocals throughout but kept waiting for a harmony especially on the minor chords which would help reflect the mood better. Just out of curiosity, did you use pitch correction? It didn't really sound obvious but at the end I thought it grabbed just one of the doubled vocals and not the other. I am all about using the technology so I am not criticising that. Just curious if I am right in what I heard. Or I could have just heard a little inconsistency between the 2 doubled parts. This song would be most appropriate for movie/tv like you say.

[rnrmachine]

Thankyou so much everyone for listening. It means a lot me. I totally agree with the key change, my first choice on the change wasn't that great so I decided to go with it as is and see what you all thought. WIll get to work as soon as I can. Actually it is not doubled vocals throughout. It is tastfully added in a lot to soften them and enrich them. Not a full 2 track double either, just low level add for a real chorus, as opposed to cruddy sounding plug-ins.I agree with the drums. I just joined a band (THANK GOD) and maybe I'll get some real good sounds now but I don't wanna push the drummer to help for this yet, till then it "plastic" drums until I fork up the bucks for a studio drummer online.I think the drums "sound good" but the "playing" it def programmed. Not much I can do till I get better at it =/Rob

[johnhampt]

Hey, Bro. Try using drum loops. They sound so much better and aren't entirely difficult to get the hang of. I think drum machines will eventually go by the way side. If you need any tips on how to get started I would be glad to steer you in the right direction to get started...